Rihanna just fired Jay Z

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 12:57 PM

Media Take Out, which I think of as the black TMZ because I’m racist, says today that things are about to get very ugly and very public between Rihanna and Jay Z, because she’s about to fire his RocNation management firm, then sue them.

She reportedly first considered this back in April because she felt they were favoring Beyonce–who is married to Jay Z–when it came to endorsement deals and song writers, and because she felt they were forcing too many other RocNation clients on to her to get them exposure. She then reconsidered, but the announcement of Beyonces pregnancy has seemingly changed her mind again, and now MTO says…

Her first step in breaking free – Rihanna has launched a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT against her “official” RocNation manager, Jay Brown’s sister.
Rihanna claims that Jay’s sister DEFRAUDED her.

I’m in LA for a few days and I forgot how many God damn billboards they have for movies and TV shows. They’re everywhere. You can’t go 30 seconds without seeing one, which is annoying because every non-Mexican in this town is here to work in movies and TV. We get it, ok. Everyone knows about ‘Drive’ and ‘Whitney‘ and all that other shit so stop already with the endless billboards. What do you want from me, I can only watch one thing at a time, I’m not gonna bring a TV to the movies if that’s what you’re hinting at. And yeah I realize this has nothing to do with Rihanna, but that story was about Jay Z being a criminal. Oohh, gee you don’t say. I haven’t seen all the facts yet but yeah he did it, he’s guilty. I don’t know what he’s guilty of exactly but I’m sure it’s somethin.

(image source = wenn)

10 photos in gallery >

Tags: beyonce, jay z, rihanna |

13 Comments

Rihanna is ready to swim

By brendon August 25, 2011 @ 2:52 PM

Rihanna put on the orangest life jacket money can buy today to go snorkeling off the coast of Portofino, Italy, and see the Christ of the Abyss. And also to reinforce every single stereotype about black people and swimming. Are you sure you have enough stuff on, Ri? Maybe you should wear two of those life jackets, and some water wings on your arm, and one of those inflatable rings that go around your waist with a Micky Mouse face.

(image source = inf)

10 photos in gallery >

Tags: rihanna |

13 Comments

Rihanna has a sex tape. Maybe.

By brendon August 24, 2011 @ 6:27 PM

I have absolutely no idea who J-Cole is, but hopefully the name rings a bell with Rihanna because Hustler is claiming she made a sex tape with him. And that they have a copy.

“Hustler are in possession of the Rihanna and J-Cole tape. We have seen it and we do not know what we are going to do with it yet.”
While they refused to disclose any further details of the tape … a source close to Rihanna is still denying it exists.
“Rihanna is surprised because there is no sex tape.”

So apparently this guy Cole did some of his “rapping” on her Loud tour last year, and she was even in a video of his for a song called ‘Can’t Get Enough’. So if this is true they should consider the sex tape a sequel and call it, ‘See. Told You.’

Tags: j cole, rihanna |

78 Comments

I’m not happy about this either Rihanna

By brendon August 23, 2011 @ 3:47 PM

Rihanna and some of her friends were on a yacht off the coast of St. Tropez, France, earlier today, and for the most part she just sat around with a pouty look on her face, but I’m the one who should be upset because she has a big ass and no tits and I hate girls like that. And also when she makes this face she looks like Dino. But if you’ve ever wanted to see Fred Flintstones dog in a bikini, today is your big day.

(image source = bauer griffin)

32 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, rihanna |

7 Comments

Rihanna has weird taste, a gentle embrace

By brendon August 09, 2011 @ 11:01 AM

Rihanna has been in Barbados for about a week, and either Barbados sucks or she just hasn’t been going to the nice places. Based on her hair I can’t even tell if they have running water. And those knit pants aren’t helping. They just look like something people on a shitty island would make for themselves because they have to. I’m surprised the boy isn’t wearing a turtle shell. I don’t even wanna think about what the vagina behind a pair of knit pants must look like. It’s 400 degrees, they sweat all day, do they even have stuff for girls to clean themselves or do they just rub sugar and salt on it like vikings did to preserve meat. That last part probably makes it sounds more delicious than it really is.

(image source = splash and pacific coast)

14 photos in gallery >

Tags: rihanna |

15 Comments

Rihanna in a bikini + site news

By brendon August 05, 2011 @ 2:56 PM

Okay first of all, I sort of need to apologize because the page sucked this week. More so than usual, I mean. I ran out of adderall and there was some issue with my prescription, and you know how slow and dull witted I normally am? Okay well that’s me ON adderall. Divide that production by 50 and add some frowny faces at the end when I’m out of adderall. And it’s just me here, there’s no back-up plan. But as of about an hour ago we’re good again. Or at least as good as it’s gonna get, so next week should be back to normal. Does that mean the jokes will be funny and there will be some even mildly competent sentence structure and punctuation? Um, sure, maybe. Anything’s possible, I guess.

For example, Rihanna is still in Barbados, and yesterday she was in a bikini, and… ummm… uhh…

Okay adderall takes a while to kick in. Let me come back to this one.

(image source = splash and fame)