Rihanna won’t stay single for long. Not just because she’s got money and loves to get high and have sex, well, mostly that. That is kind of perfect. Also because she’s got that dumb addiction thing going on with Chris Brown. She’ll get back with him. People call it a toxic relationship. I call it a completely free spectator sport. If Chris took a turn at her right here, her boob would fall out of her dress. See how much better that could be?
Rihanna is a hypocritical entitled asshole who thinks it’s her world and everyone is just lucky to be living in it. Case in point, she tweeted about hanging with her lil ni##a this weekend and posted the photo above, a year after she went off on some magazine for calling her a ni##er bitch in an article. Now people are starting to call her out on it, which is good because she sucks.
I’m not saying I side with Chris Brown in how to handle the woman, but I’m also not saying I’d use my super fast tip top speed to race over and cut it off t if I saw it going down in public. Especially if Rihanna was spouting the n-word loudly to prove that she can do whatever the fuck she wants. I don’t know where the hell she got that kid from, but I really hope he peed in her pool before he left.
I guess it’s easy to hate on Rihanna for being the daft girl who falls in love with the dude who beats her. But in defense of her character, I’d like to say, she’s also really pretty damn hot. Which is why we must care about her circumstance. Men have been coming to the aid of stupid hot chicks since time began. Ugly chicks are kind of outside the chivalry circle, but that only makes them tougher and more independent. Hot girls need our sympathy, and money and unfounded trust.
Here’s Rihanna partying in Miami over the weekend.
Shit flows downhill I guess. Beatings from stronger to weaker. Chris Brown whooped up on Rihanna because he’s a pussy who hits women when he’s angry. Rihanna hits Michael Cera because he weighs less than seven stones. At least Rihanna is getting paid for her bitch slap. Which makes her smarter and less of a pussy than Chris Brown.
Here’s the red band trailer for This is The End. This is either going to be fucking hilarious, or suck balls so bad they wait ten more years to do another funny actors playing themselves in a movie movie.
A source close to the singer, 25, reveals: ‘This is her “F-ck you!” to the world.’ Unsurprisingly, the couple are planning to break with tradition at their wedding, which is likely to happen on a beach near the Sandy Lane resort. ‘Rihanna doesn’t want a big dress or boring old confetti,’ says our insider. ‘She wants to get married in her bikini and have a carnival atmosphere. ‘They want it to be relaxed and fun, like a “playground”, and to celebrate with the people who have stood by them.’
She wins. All I get is a life without fear of a serious beatdown anytime I so much as break wind. Meanwhile this Caribbean queen gets to walk off into the sunset with the mentally unstable asshole of her dreams. Pour it up indeed.
These two are like a trashier version of Mickey and Mallory. And those two killed for fun. Can’t wait to watch the highlights of the wedding video where Chris beats the shit out of Rihanna because she was standing a little too close to the priest and he thought his bitch was getting all up on him. That busted lip is just ‘playground’ baby.
Rihanna’s been talking this week about making a baby with Chris Brown. Because she’s in love. And she’s stupid as fuck. If you’re not picturing an angry high-pitched squealing Chris Brown beating the baby out of Rihanna, you’re not really trying.
This chick loves drama. And weed. But mostly drama. Part of which is taking every chance she can get to show off her tits and ass. Which is the healthy kind of drama, because showing off your tits and ass won’t get you put in a hospital, it’ll only make you even more money.
Here’s Rihanna showing off her nipples at London Fashion week today.