Robert Pattinson has reportedly once again broken up with Kristen Stewart. Sources are saying the unnecessarily intense young actor couple had been fighting a lot, presumably about which one of them is more catastrophically boring and can gin up more fake contempt for commercial society. You’ll recall that last year they broke the hearts of tweens, obese women, and boys who wear eyeliner everywhere when they split because Stewart was getting the old Hi-Ho down low from her Snow White and the Huntsman director. Chances are they’ll get back together again because they are both too annoying in real life to find anyone else who will hang out past the conclusion of sex.
Whether or not Kristen Stewart’s schedule being mostly wide open for the immediate future has to do with her affair with her Snow White director Rupert Sanders is unknown, but because she’s so incredibly boring and annoying to look at, it’s just fun to assume that’s the reason. Meanwhile, Robert Pattinson and his forehead have several movies coming up, so instead of leaving Kristen behind to damage any other marriages, Robert is taking her with him to Cannes for his promotional duties this year.
And when they’re done with work, Hollywood’s blandest couple will head to Provence, France, where they will tour some vineyards and camp in the chateaus because they want to experience “normal living”, according to The Sun.
I don’t like to wish violence or pain on anyone, but if someone in or around those chateaus were to “accidentally” let some starving bears or tigers or alligators into the area that Robert and Kristen are camping at, they might earn some big cool points.
(Photo Credit: WENN.com)
When it came out that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with Rupert Sanders, and especially when she gave that horribly awkward public apology, everyone assumed she actually had sex with him. Or at least I did because she’s high all the time and girls like that have lots of random sex.
But now it seems that might not be the case, at least according to the two people who have every reason to lie about it.
“Kristen and Rupert both told their respective partners that they didn’t actually have sex,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “Kristen was absolutely steadfast that she only engaged in several make-out sessions with Rupert but never slept with him. Rob didn’t believe her in the beginning but as time wore on he accepted her explanation. Kristen has given Rob passwords to her voicemail and e-mail account to prove she has nothing to hide and will do anything to get his trust back.”
Oohh, so she’s dingy looking, cheats and grovels with no dignity whatsoever? Yeah, don’t let her get away Rob, she’s a real catch.
WEIRD: Kristen Stewart was wearing Robert Pattinsons clothes two weeks ago, about a month after they broke up because she cheated on him.
XTRA WEIRD: She did it again yesterday, wearing one of his shirts to LAX.
“THIS BITCH IS INSANE”: These are the only two times she’s been photographed since July. She’s essentially left the house twice in six weeks, and she’s been in his clothes each time. Is that coincidence, or does she wear his clothes every single day and we just don’t see it? This dude is gonna end up in her bed with his feet between a block of wood while she picks up a sledgehammer and tells him this is for the best.
(image source = inf, fame/flynet)
It was July 25th when Us broke the story about Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson, and she was photographed for the first time since then on Monday. While wearing a Baltimore Orioles cap and backpack which belong to Pattinson, and a gold ring that he gave her.
It was either sad/”awww” or sad/”this chick is going to fucking murder me”, depending on how you feel about Stewart. Pattinson is somewhere in the middle.
“Rob’s not impressed by the photo of Kristen, and he’s not sure what she’s trying to prove,” a source close to the situation exclusively told Radar.
“He’s been doing his best to push through this, promoting his movie and everything while still trying to figure out where he and Kristen stand. With these photos of her wearing his hat, backpack and ring, it’s just got him wondering what kind of mind games she’s playing.”
These aren’t mind games. These are the actions of a crazy person. She’s probably pulling strands of his hair out of a stolen brush, pushing them into her vagina, then praying it’ll get her pregnant.
(image source = fame/flynet)
Robert Pattinson had agreed to go on ‘the Daily Show’ to promote his new movie ‘Cosmopolis’ (based on the book by the great Don DeLilo) long before Kristen Stewart cheated on him, and while she’s been dropping out of movies and canceling premieres she had lined up, he actually showed up yesterday to talk about everything.
Unfortunately Jon Stewart did what he always does, which is spend most of the time making dumb faces and flailing around. Does he have Parkinsons or something? He’s like a less-charming Michael J. Fox.