T-Pain Commits Cardinal Sin

T-Pain not so considerately joked that Robert Pattinson had proposed to the over accessorized avatar who calls herself FKA Twigs. A tear ridden conversation no doubt ensued once she heard the news as she proceeded tocontinuously ask if this was because of her thighs. There are a few things in life you don't do. Joking about marriageor asking a chickif she's pregnant are two of them. She's not and now you have to...read more

FKA Twigs Seems Super Interesting

Robert Pattinson's flail wielding Road Warrior girlfriend posed naked for V Magazine. How does this bitch travel? I find it a pain in the ass to take my belt off at Airport Security, let alone remove a studfrom my perineum. FKA Twigs' name is Tahliah. A fine name for a person and even a pop star. The fact she changed it to something annoying to pronounce and ultimately much worse seems to be a pattern;she also did it...read more

FKA Twigs in a Bikini

As far as beards go, you could do worse than picking a pubescent looking chick with a childish stage name. Outside of asking for money to go to the mall, she's mostly going to leave you alone to work on your acoustic guitar riffs and snapchats with Hugh Jackman about the craft. At some point one of her little friends is going to whisper in her ear about how awesome sex is and she's going to start looking at you funny...read more

Twilight Fans Are Racist And Shit Around The Web

The 14-year-old obese girls and closeted men who love Twilight are attacking Robert Pattinson's new beard because she's black. He's "dating" the stupidly named FKA Twigs and Twilight fans have been harassing her with racist comments. It's always sad when the ugliness of racism arises for no apparent reason. It's slightly less sad when a Twilight fan dies horribly. Read all about the Twilight haters hatin'. (Dlisted)...read more

Robert Pattinson Is Banging Elvis' Granddaughter

I'll say this for that chaffing sob monkey Robert Pattinson. Beneath all the emo, he's still a dude. So when the spoiled brat love of his life goes and cheats on him in a messy public scandal, he does what any immature but semi-inspired man would do. He goes and bangs her friend. In this case, Riley Keough. He's lucky Kristen had some hot friends. I've been there before when the revenge options are a little more...read more

Leonardo DiCaprio Will Get Robert Pattinson Laid

Being Leonardo DiCaprio's friend has to be the greatest thing in the world. Not only does the guy throw lavish topless supermodel orgy yacht parties on random days of the week and invite guys who swim in their t-shirts like Jonah Hill, but now he's playing therapist to Robert Pattinson, who has become Hollywood's mopiest putz. Ever since Robert dumped Kristen Stewart for good, he has apparently been a total whiny...read more

Love Is Dead: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Break Up

Robert Pattinson has reportedly once again broken up with Kristen Stewart. Sources are saying theunnecessarilyintense young actor couple had been fighting a lot, presumably about which one of them is more catastrophically boring and can gin up more fake contempt for commercial society. You'll recall that last year they broke the hearts of tweens, obese women, and boys who wear eyeliner everywhere when they split...read more

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Are Still Boring

Whether or not Kristen Stewart's schedule being mostly wide open for the immediate future has to do with her affair with her Snow White director Rupert Sanders is unknown, but because she's so incredibly boring and annoying to look at, it's just fun to assume that's the reason. Meanwhile, Robert Pattinson and his forehead have several movies coming up, so instead of leaving Kristen behind to damage any other...read more

Kristen Stewart says she never slept with Rupert Sanders

When it came out that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with Rupert Sanders, and especially when she gave that horribly awkward public apology, everyone assumed she actually had sex with him. Or at least I did because she's high all the time and girls like that have lots of random sex. But now it seems that might not be the case, at least according to the two people who have every reason to lie about it....read more

Kristen Stewart is wearing Robert Patinsons clothes again

WEIRD: Kristen Stewart was wearing Robert Pattinsons clothes two weeks ago, about a month after they broke up because she cheated on him. XTRA WEIRD: She did it again yesterday, wearing one of his shirts to LAX. "THIS BITCH IS INSANE": These are the only two times she's been photographed since July. She's essentially left the house twice in six weeks, and she's been in his clothes each time. Is that coincidence, or...read more

Kristen Stewart is still wearing Robert Pattinsons stuff

It was July 25th when Us broke the story about Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson, and she was photographed for the first time since then on Monday. While wearing a Baltimore Orioles cap and backpack which belong to Pattinson, and a gold ring that he gave her. It was either sad/"awww" or sad/"this chick is going to fucking murder me", depending on how you feel about Stewart. Pattinson is somewhere in the...read more

Robert Pattinson finally did an interview

Robert Pattinson had agreed to go on 'the Daily Show' to promote his new movie 'Cosmopolis' (based on the book by the great Don DeLilo) long before Kristen Stewart cheated on him, and while she's been dropping out of movies and canceling premieres she had lined up, he actually showed up yesterday to talk about everything. Unfortunately Jon Stewart did what he always does, which is spend most of the time making dumb...read more

Liberty Ross can't take a hint

Liberty Ross is the wife of Rupert Sanders, the guy who Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with. And considering what a huge story that was and how cavalier they were about it, you might think she'd be packing her things and filing for divorce. And yet... Ross has already seen a divorce lawyer ... but her goal is reconciliation. In fact, Liberty and Rupert have already been to a marriage and family therapist....read more

Robert Pattinson kicked Kristen Stewart out

Last week there were reports that Robert Pattinson had moved out of the house he shared with Kristen Stewart, on account of her whoring. But that didn't make a ton of sense considering it's his house and he paid $6.2 million for it. A more likely scenario was he was simply giving her time to pack up, and now that does in fact seem to be the case. A source tells People that the actor, who has been staying out of sight...read more

Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson are just friends

Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson have apparently been friends for a long time (about a month ago they hung out after the premiere of her movie), so maybe that's why there are so many reports today claiming she wants to be his new girlfriend. Or maybe people just like to make things up to be mean, like when my parents told me and the babysitter they were going to a movie when actually they were moving to a new town....read more