Rose McGowan Single Again

By Lex February 05, 2016 @ 8:50 AM

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Rose McGowan cited irreconcilable differences in her divorce from Davey Detail, a young visual artist known for his flamboyant hair styles and total lack of income. Like many celebrity couples, the two found it difficult to make time for each other. Detail was regularly touring European hostels with his found object art projects and McGowan was triple booked in tight tank tops speaking truth to Hollywood sexism. Nobody has less free time than the chronically unemployed. McGowan is only forty-two with plenty of years left to make a horrible wife for any number of men who wonder why she no longer wraps her fantastically long fingers around their cock like when they were dating. E.T. Phone home. E.T. phone home. Faster.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Rose McGowan Breaking Bald

By Lex November 23, 2015 @ 1:01 PM

Bald Rose McGowan In West Hollywood
Rose McGowan is following the inevitable trend of disillusioned Hollywood musical chairs participants. What do you do when the music stops and there’s no seat left for your tits? People used to love them. People with position and title and little tiny penises but really nice cars. Now those knockers are on a low-rent mall tour for third wave convenient feminism. By the time you’ve shaved your head it’s already too late. Disappointment lice is upon you. Filter searches in Backstage for tight tank top casting notices. It’s past time to settle.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Rose McGowan Piles on Caitlyn Jenner

By Lex November 18, 2015 @ 8:27 AM

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Rose McGowan joined the chorus of truly lonely people angered by Caitlyn Jenner winning Glamour Woman of the Year Award, but not for the reason you might think. Or for any reason that makes sense to somebody not perpetually experiencing the pain of their born gender. McGowan, who has perfected the art of wearing tight tops then chastising everybody who stares at her tits, took exception with Caitlyn stating that the hardest part about being a woman was knowing what to wear. McGowan responded in menstrual blood on her Facebook account:

Caitlyn Jenner you do not understand what being a woman is about at all. You want to be a woman and stand with us- well learn us. We are more than deciding what to wear. We are more than the stereotypes foisted upon us by people like you. You’re a woman now? Well  fucking learn that we have had a VERY different experience than your life of male privilege. Woman of the year? No, not until you wake up and join the fight. Being a woman comes with a lot of baggage. The weight of unequal history. You’d do well to learn it. You’d do well to wake up. Woman of the year? Not by a long fucking shot.

Don’t you see, Bruce. Having tits and designer gowns doesn’t make you a woman. It’s the common suffering of your vagina ancestors that makes you Gaia. You didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on you. Wait. You’ll never get the Han Solo gig. That’s for men. Feel that fucking pain, bury it deep inside, hate your tits for keeping you down. Then come back and tell me why you deserve to be the poster child for a magazine that promotes anorexia and feelings of inadequacy among women. You don’t. This is no country for old women, Caitlyn.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Rose McGowan Nipples Tell No Tales

By Lex August 18, 2015 @ 6:59 AM

Rose McGowan Pokies in Red Top
Rose McGowan continues to protest the tight tank top roles she’s forced to play in B-moved by showing off her tits for the paparazzi in Beverly Hills. It’s a protest so subtle, that you have to fully commit to its irony just to begin to understand it. The lion tamer can’t bitch when everybody asks him to bring the lions along. Nobody wants to see a sullen dude in a brilliant gay suit hoisting a whip at their party. Maybe Calvin Klein. Don’t make us forget the reasons we love you. The list is short. You could’ve gone one size smaller.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Rose McGown Busty White

By Lex August 10, 2015 @ 10:07 AM

Rose McGown Busty White Dress In NYC
People who question how Rose McGowan can rail against the low cut wardrobe requests for her films and yet publicly employ her tits for twenty years to get ahead don’t understand the pure joy of double standards. You lament double standards when you can’t use them to your advantage. Why not be the preacher who berates whores on Sundays and fucks them blind Monday through Friday? It’s a good gig if you can get away with it. If Michael Bay gets rigid, I get work. My body, my choice. Have you seen my ass lately? Quit looking, pig!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Rose McGowan Sick of Sexism, Now That It’s No Longer Helpful

By Lex June 26, 2015 @ 12:55 PM

Rose-McGowan-on-Watch-What-Happens-Live

Rose McGowan claims her talent agency fired her for ranting about a casting note to wear a tight tank top with push-up bra for an audition for the role of woman in tank top and push-up bra. Rose had to disparage and share the sexist wardrobe note on her social media to mark her transition from using her tits to get work to complaining about it. Also to conveniently dismiss how male actors routinely have to hit the gym to have rock hard abs in their roles. Mark Wahlberg has had more strangers touching him than an adorable ten year old with a Neverland annual pass.

The role was in an Adam Sandler movie and when Rose called out Adam Sandler in particular, her reps decided it was time to cut bait. Adam Sandler is a very shitty actor who makes very shitty movies that make more money than Rose McGowan’s sycophantic feminist Twitter posts it turns out.

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Yes, I realize Rose McGowan is wearing a skin tight tank top on Andy Cohen’s show to bitch about the wardrobe note. Never tell a woman with nice tits she’s a hypocrite. She might not let you touch them. #MyTitsMyChoice