I don't know if you can legally rape your own penis, and by that I mean attack it with such ferocity and diligence and then keep on it long after its begged for mercy, but many many nerds will put that to the test after seeing what Rose McGowan wore last night. Her big tits and pale skin in big bookworm-y glasses are the best thing to happen to dorks since Lord of the Rings.
Despite previous denials that they were a couple, Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan walked the red carpet hand-in-hand at the Cannes premiere of "Death Proof" yesterday. TMZ says:
The two had previously denied any on-set boot-knockin', as rumors went rabid that Rodriguez cheated on his then-wife — and "Planet Terror" co-producer, Elizabeth Avellan — with the former "Charmed" witch. At the time, reps for the film said the couple had split "long before" production began.
Homewrecker or not, McGowan's got a new man — and probably a good shot of snagging the lead role in Robert's just-announced "Barbarella" remake.
Is there anyone under 900 years old named Rose? Other than this one. That's the name of someone on the back of a handsome knights horse in a fairy tale with talking mice and magic apples. Rodriguez is a cool guy but I would feel weird about having sex with someone named Rose. I would feel like I stumbled across an old person unconscious on the kitchen floor and I was taking advantage of them.
TUXEDOED FACT - the handsome devil making a guest appearance in picture 1 and 2 is Hostel director Eli Roth, who is reportedly dating Rosario Dawson. Rosario Dawson can do this.
Dear god, the numbers from this weekends box office are in and they reveal a very disappointing pull for "Grindhouse". Despite being awesome in every way, it came in fourth place and earned a surprisingly low $11.5 million. Lazy ass comedy "Blades of Glory" somehow topped the weekend with $23 million, bringing its two week total to a heart-breaking $69 million. "Meet the Robinsons" was number 2 this weekend, earning $17 million. Even a family comedy with Ice Cube beat "Grindhouse", as "Are We Done Yet" came in third and pulled $15 million.
And this is why most movies and TV suck. Because whenever anyone tries something different it's rejected out of hand and producers of boring crap like Blades of Glory and Family Guy roll around in giant piles of money like Scrooge McDuck. Whoever finds this crap funny must have a pretty weird sense of humor, because the entire thing is so lazy it ends up more depressing than United 93 . “Two gentlemen - ice skating - TOGETHER?!? This is highly unusual! The shock from this hilarious premise caused my top hat to leap from my head and my monocle fell into my champagne glass as I fainted on one of the peacocks! My heart cant take any more of this edgy Hollywood comedy! Mine eyes have seen the glory - Blades of Glory, that is!!!”
The New York Post reminds us today that the production of the movie “Grindhouse" - the double-feature movie directed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez that opens Friday - was shut down last April when the affair between Rodriguez and Grindhouse star Rose McGowan went public. Rodriguez has been married for 16 years and has five kids with Elizabeth Avellan. Avellan also acts as a producer for Rodriguez, and has co-produced "Grindhouse," "Sin City," "From Dusk Till Dawn," "Desperado" and "Spy Kids." Page Six says:
"When Elizabeth found out, there was an eruption of emotions - an emotional volcano.”
"It was the worst-kept secret on the set. They were going off to his trailer, having meals together. Rose thought some of the crew were treating her differently, and the attitude was, like, well what do you expect when you're [bleeping] the director?"
In the meantime, Rodriguez and McGowan are keeping an ultra-low profile. "They arrived in the same limo for the L.A. premiere, but they got out separately several minutes apart to avoid being seen together," a spy told Page Six.
Wow, these two are really smart. A limo pulls up and one person gets out. Then the limo idles for two minutes and the door opens again. "AHHHHH! THAT CAR IS HAUNTED … oh wait … okay never mind…" Did they think no one was gonna do that math? Did they think Robert was the driver? They might wanna have someone else plan their capers from now on. Someone who's not a total fucking retard. Or else one day his wife is gonna end up dead, and Robert will tell the police that “it was raining, and she was driving, and then a lion jumped out and shot her. Umm, do you buy that?”
Just one last reminder that the 2006 MTV Music Awards were insufferably stale and boring, courtesy of Rose McGowan, who went to the 1998 MTV Music Awards naked, back when these were at least mildly interesting. I actually have this same outfit. I made it for the state finals when I was captain of the Hot Buns team in high school. It's been a while since I wore it because my buns killed a girl at a club one night. She was from a small town and just wasn’t ready for my sexy moves.
