Wicked Hot Anorexics at The British Fashion Awards

By Lex November 24, 2015 @ 10:21 AM

Karlie Kloss And Jourdan Dunn At The British Fashion Awards
The fashion business is one massive ruse. It’s the equivalent of telling Jacksonville Jaguars fans that this is the year. That dress looks suspiciously like something already in your closet. I know you’re paying for it yourself, but I might note that I pay for my own clothes and our rent. The entire point of designer clothing for women is to make other women jealous for not being able to fit into that same dress. A Holly Holm foot to the face is more subtle. Men might tell a woman she looks great in a dress, but what they really mean is, let’s get naked and fuck. That’s also true for ‘how was your day’ and ‘of course I love Mr. Whiskers’. Relationships are complicated. Fashion isn’t. There are five different dresses in the entire world. You own fifteen of them.

Photo Credit: Getty

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley On the Run

By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 10:22 AM

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Chesty Spandex Leaving The Gym
This is a rare photo of this British model where Jason Statham doesn’t have his arm firmly wrapped around her neck like she’s figured out where he’s hidden her passport and has a cohort from the shelter ready to help her escape. Having a younger girlfriend everybody wants to fuck isn’t for everybody. Like insecure bald men with tempers. The upside is you get some world class model pussy. The downside is you’ve lost all your friends and you can no longer take your girlfriend to visit your dad. He’s in his 70′s, he can masturbate in the hallway, fuck what everybody else thinks. Put your money away, sweetheart, it’s enough to know you’re recycling.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Gillian Anderson Returns

By Lex June 04, 2015 @ 12:43 PM

Gillian Anderson For Glamour Women Of The Year Awards
The X-Files is returning to Fox because they couldn’t think of anything relatively less derivative and nerds at lesser city Comic-Cons want one last chance to tug one out to Gillian Anderson. You’d like to think that a metropolis comprised entirely of super duper pill popping sodomites could come up with some novel programming ideas, but constantly checking your wristband to see how many feet you’ve walked today takes its toll on your total parietal output. Remember when there was a new show on network TV you were excited to watch? It was called X-Files. It’s back.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Spreading

By Matt April 10, 2015 @ 7:04 AM

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Topless Covered Violet Grey

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley got mostly naked for a photo shoot and as part of the trade off someone had to listen to her recount some benign facts about herself. Brace yourself, she likes to eat real food like the rest of us:

“I don’t want to be that miserable girl pushing a salad around my plate.”

One of us! One of us!  I give her credit for the attempt. We know that models starve the shit out of themselves and we really don’t care. If your calorie ceiling gives me a slightly better wank, that’s a deal we’ve both made with the devil. No give-backs.  She also dropped this gem:

“Beauty for me is about a good workout routine.”

I’m not exactly sure that makes sense, but I think it’s more about having great tits and your skin accepting bronzer without visible rash. More of a nature thing than a spin class thing. Jason Statham’s a lucky man. You’ve got friends that are interesting. Nobody’s perfect.

Photo Credit: Violet Grey

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Tits Pushing the Stevia

By Lex September 19, 2014 @ 12:16 PM

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Looks Good While She Launches Coca Cola Life
With more and more stories out that artificial sweeteners in diet soda are just making fat people die even faster, this Stevia plant sweetener is growing rapidly in popularity. It’s got few calories compared to real sugar and won’t send you into diabetic conniptions like the shit they’ve been putting in Diet Coke since people started pretending 1-calorie sodas could counteract Subway meatball grinders and eight hours in an office chair.

Coca-Cola Life is Coke’s version of Stevia sweetened cola that is making the rounds in foreign countries. They started in South America where up to 500,000 people can die mysteriously without much notice. Between making kids too fat to do wind sprints in gym and the mass distribution of aspartame, Coca-Cola kills more people annually than the influenza virus and helmet-less skateboarding combined. It’s nice to see they’re moving in the direction of using natural plant life, treating it with industrial solvents, kettle cooking it, synthesizing it in laboratories, and adding just a hint of Black Widow venom to finally produce a healthy soda. Green packaging does not lie. This soda’s going to make you a superstar.

Photo Credit: Getty, AKM-GSI

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Strips In A Photo Shoot By Emma Summerton For Violet Grey

By Lex June 13, 2014 @ 11:47 AM

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Strips In A Photo Shoot By Emma Summerton For Violet Grey

Photo Credit: Violet Grey