Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is back to doing what she does best. Pouting quietly in her underwear. She had her run as a Transformers actress, but all that got her were some dismal reviews and Michael Bay giving Jason Statham a knowing smile every time they cross paths. No, sitting silently in her panties is the place for Rosie. When she’s good, she gets her favorite licorice treat. And when she’s bad, you buzz the invisible fence collar and she’s back to pouty and quiet. That’s how you sell some fucking underwear.
Of all of the celebrities that have been vacationing in fancy places like St. Barts and Los Cabos, none have been as wonderful and kind as model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who has been spending the new year with her boyfriend, Jason Statham, in Hawaii. Unlike all of those other famous, wealthy dicks, Rosie has been documenting her entire trip on Instagram, and in between stupid pictures of trees and more trees, she’s been treating everyone to photos of her in bikinis. You know, most people try to leave their jobs at the office, but real heroes like Rosie? They never stop doing what they’re best at.
Unfortunately, her vacation is over, so we’ll just have to settle for all of the regular bikini and lingerie photos that she posts to her Instagram.
Actor Jason Statham and, much more importantly, his girlfriend and model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are currently on vacation in Hawaii, and if you were worried that they were going to exclude us from the fun, don’t. Rosie has been posting photos from their vacation to Instagram, but instead of boring crap like pictures of them together, having fun, she’s been posting photos like the one above, because it’s very important to know how great her ass looks while standing on the beach in Hawaii. I can only imagine that her personal photo albums are more like strip tease flipbooks, so I’d appreciate the chance to further inspect them for the sake of being thorough in my research.
I guess GQ in Russia can show more than they can here in the West. It’s Russia’s progressive philosophy that has helped make them a worldwide leader in the manufacture of lead piping and suicide. It could be the loss of all their hot women to high end brothels around the world. But something makes them sad. I can’t read Russian as well as I pretend, but I think right around Rosie Huntington Whiteley’s tits is the message, I am chemical engineer wishing to be cab driver in big American city.
Photo Credit: GQ Russia
Model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looked a little worse for the wear last night after the 2013 British Style Awards, as she returned to her hotel in her red and black pant suit that appears to have been inspired by the question, “What if Santa Claus had a really hot assistant who climbs down your chimney and distracts parents by telling them to look at her cleavage so he can put presents under the tree?” I’m not sure if Rosie won anything at the BSAs, but based on this outfit and my love of side boob, I’m just going to say that she won every award and all of the other women in attendance cried and are starving themselves a little harder today.
Photo Credits: Will Alexander/WENN.com
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley helped launch her new sleepwear line in London yesterday, and as always she was one of the best in the world and standing, smiling, sometimes waving and looking incredibly attractive as people took pictures of her. It’s a really bold marketing strategy, being attractive and using those looks to sell clothing, but if the two marketing courses that I took from a Venezuelan online college have taught me anything, this might work. But for good measure, she should wear less clothing and tell the other two models that it’s awfully warm in here before rubbing oil on their shoulders. That would probably slightly increase sales.
Photo Credits: WENN.com