Wednesday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 23, 2013 @ 4:07 PM

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ANGELINA JOLIE – might be pregnant again, meaning she and Brad Pitt will soon have their seventh child. To be honest I’m not even sure if that’s what the story said, it just seems like something they would do. (hollywood life)

BEYONCE – lip-synched yesterday at the inauguration for President Obama, but her ‘Destinys Child’ bandmate Michelle Williams was quick to defend her because of the crowd, possible echoes, and the enormity of the moment. Also because Beyonce sucks and needs everything filtered through a super computer that could make Stephen Hawking sound like Michael Crawford. (fox news)

‘THE CANYONS’ – has now been rejected by the Sundance Film Festival and SXSW, meaning that even the promise of Lindsay Lohan doing fully naked sex scenes can’t get them a release date. Maybe they should change their approach and say Lindsay isn’t naked after all, and you never see her saggy freckled tits even once, and replacing all her scenes with this Kate Upton gif. (hollywood reporter)

GREGORY MATTHEW BRUNI – was arrested in North Fort Myers, Florida, for taking his clothes off, breaking into a strangers home, masturbating, and taking a shit on the floor twice. Of course if the cops could explain how he’s supposed to masturbate and shit on the floor with his clothes on, I’d love to hear it. (huff post)

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY – is hot. I think. Or maybe not. Sometimes, like here, she looks great, but in real life it’s hard to tell. Especially since she got new drapes. What are those fucking things, lead? (marks and spencer lingerie photoshoot spring 2013)

Rosie Whiteley is not so great at math

By brendon November 09, 2011 @ 5:39 PM

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is just one of the many celebrities who love Christian Louboutin shoes. The bad news is that celebrities are about the only people who can afford them, since they sell for about $700 a pair. The good news is that Rosie has some practical advice for the rest of us.

“If you can save up for a pair put away a dollar a week. It’s worth it girls. It is really worth it!” 

It better be, because at a dollar a week it would be 14 years before you could buy a pair. You ever wonder why things like pop-tarts have directions on the box? It’s because of girls like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

(image source of rosie at the burberry store in beverly hills = getty and wenn)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore tight pants

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 1:53 PM

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley went to a party for Christian Louboutin at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills last night wearing these super tight leather pants. And yet when I asked her if I could borrow some last weekend she said she didn’t have any. Ok, fine, I see how it is. Two can play this little game.

(source = fame)

Rosise Huntington Whiteley is tricky

By brendon October 19, 2011 @ 10:57 AM

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was at a launch party for Vertu in Milan yesterday, and on a very much related note if I ever meet some guy and he says, “I invented that fabric that makes it seem like you should be able to see a girls tits through it but you can’t no mater how long you stare”, I’m gonna kick him right in his balls. That stuff is bullshit.

(image source = getty)

Megan Fox is box office gold

By brendon July 07, 2011 @ 4:55 PM

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‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’, has been out for 8 full days now, and it’s still doing incredible business, unless of course you compare it to ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’. At this point, ‘Fallen’ had made $239 million at the box office, while ‘Dark of the Moon’ now sits at $198. That’s a drop of around $41 million.

It would be overly simplistic to say this is all because Megan Fox was replaced by Rosie Huntington Whitely, but complicated theories are for fags, so that’s what I’m going to say.

Not only is Fox (seen here in her brand new Armani campaign) a thousand times hotter than Whitely, but now we’re expected to believe Sam Witwicky has dated two international supermodels in a row, which is somehow the dumbest premise even in a movie about fights between shape-shifting robots from outer space.

‘Transformers 3′ is down 40 percent from ’2′

By brendon June 30, 2011 @ 4:27 PM

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No doubt fueled by it’s juvenile cheap shots at Megan Fox (like Shia telling his parents he “moved on to something better” or one of the robots saying his last girlfriend was “mean”), ‘Transformers 3’ had the biggest opening day of 2011 and is doing incredibly well by any definition.

Unless you compare it to the opening day for ‘Transformers 2’, the one with Megan Fox, in which case it’s an embarrassing failure.

E! cites this list of the all time opening days on Box Office Mojo and says

In its first full day in theaters, Transformers: Dark of the Moon grossed an estimated $37.3 million, good for sixth place on the list of all-time Wednesday openers.
But as you’ll notice, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is in second place, with a far bigger, far fatter $62 million debut.

And that’s despite the fact that 60 percent of ticket sales were for 3D, where average ticket prices are $10.85 and $14.85 for IMAX, as compared to the $7.50 they paid to see the second one.

It’s also despite the fact that ‘Dark of the Moon’ is actually pretty good. I’m as amazed as anyone but I liked it. The good news is they can still match the weekend total for ‘Revenge of the Fallen’, as long as they consider a weekend to be 17 days long.

(image source = splash)