By Lex August 27, 2015 @ 9:34 AM
Rosie O’Donnell spent the final weeks before her adopted daughter Chelsea turned eighteen hunting her down for daring to leave Castle O’Donnell in the quest of man cock. O’Donnell returned her daughter to the highest tower and resumed drugging her under the guise of her mental illness called lust. Chelsea turned eighteen this week and on the very same day had her bio mom pick her up and drive her a thousand miles away from Rosie pronto. This is the same bio mom who claims she was drugged out of her mind and her husband sold her baby without her permission to O’Donnell back in the day. Not exactly the mom of the year, but when it’s a choice between hitting up Wendy’s and motels on a road trip with this addict and sticking around to see what prescription meds Rosie has for you next, you hop right into the ’03 Corolla and start catching up with the woman who birthed you.
I’d call this story one of triumph over crazy. Rosie O’Donnell announced she’s cutting Chelsea off from all funds because that’s all she has left to say. Your kids don’t ditch you the day they legally can because you’re awesome. Rosie has only 87 adopted spawn left to work over in the hopes of finding the pure soul to take her candy factory when she retires. Not a factory so much as a big basement storage room filled with Baby Ruth’s and Snickers.
Photo credit: Getty Images
By Lex August 20, 2015 @ 9:08 AM
When Rosie O’Donnell’s seventeen year old daughter Chelsea went missing from their Nyack, New York home she knew her daughter was running off to meet some sweet talking dude in Jersey she met on Tinder. That is why 99% of seventeen year old girls take off from their homes. O’Donnell was savvy enough to share this factoid with the authorities and where this guy might be living, allowing the cops to find her in pretty short order and embarrass her back home. To the public, O’Donnell declared her daughter missing, off her meds, and suffering from a sympathetic mental illness. It’s certainly a more Twitter friendly story than Chelsea hates nutso mom and her revolving door of wives and she’s taking off to get her own vagina romanced. Just going to get laid by a guy qualifies as mentally ill in O’Donnell’s frame of reference. Yes, doctor I pay in cash, I said she dreams of straight men and cock. Now get her on some benzos before she hurts herself. This is tough love. God forbid there’s a natural conception in this family. Who took my Whoopi dildo? My daughter is missing again? Fuck. I need to vlog.
Photo credit: Getty Images
By Jack April 28, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Imagine going down on Rosie O’Donnell. Now put that pain into dollars. Rosie O’Donnell’s ex-wife wants that much.
Read all about all the lesbian divorce drama. (TMZ)
Jehane Gigi Paris’ cleavage is fucking amazing. (Egotastic)
Mariah Carey wears a sheer dress to try and hold onto youth in her claws. (Huffington Post)
Sonya Gorelova shows her amazing ass for Vogue Spain. (Drunken Stepfather)
Chrissy Teigen shows off her tits again. (Popoholic)
Jill Bunny in a bikini? Don’t mind if I do! (The Superficial)
Hot girls taking selfies because why not? (The Chive)
By Matt July 10, 2014 @ 6:30 AM
Rosie O’Donnell contract demands include the provision that no reality stars be named to fill the open co-host spots of The View. This could be Rosie playing into the stereotype that all reality stars are pill-popping wrecked fame whores with no rock bottom. Actually, that’s not a stereotype, it’s true. Rosie could also be trying to blackball Sarah Palin, who made the switch from VP candidate to reality TV star like she was never qualified to be the former. Palin did toss her own name into the hat this week for the open ‘white conservative slot left vacant by Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Rosie may also envision a smack talking Snooki or Teen Mom easily stealing her thunder. Rosie may be a tough dude, but she’s no idiot. She wants weak sister competition so she and her gay designer dragons retake the Dummy Throne.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
By Lex July 08, 2014 @ 11:17 AM
When The View said they were going to boldly remake themselves, they weren’t kidding. Step one, bring back the loud-mouth jelly puddle you fired previously for being mentally unstable. Rosie O’Donnell has swallowed her pride for the right amount of cash and agreed to rejoin the show where stupid women talk stupidly about stupid things for a stupid female audience so they can write stupid things on Facebook about what they believe to be true. I think that’s the official log line from the network. With Whoopi still on the cast, and Rosie joining, the producers of The View are now looking to find a Latina and a conservative to fill out America’s dumbest coffee klatch. Wary black, angry lesbian, feisty Latina, and blond conservative. That’s literally the plan at ABC. A cheap demographic outline for success. If we were immortal, life would still be too short to watch The View.
By brendon August 28, 2012 @ 2:11 PM
Rosie O’Donnell, who is so fat that these pictures with her new wife look like forced-perspective shots set up to make her look enormous even though they’re actually standing side by side, got secretly married back in June! Congratulations!
Not only that, but her wife, Michelle Rounds, is way more attractive than I assumed she would be. They were originally supposed to get married in August, but O’Donnell had a heart attack and Rounds has desmoid tumors. Also O’Donnell had already eaten most of the wedding cake.
(source = la times. image source = fame/flynet)