Rumer Willis Ass

By Lex March 30, 2015 @ 7:06 AM

Rumer Willis Flashes Abs And Booty While Leaving Dancing With The Stars LB
It’s good to see the idle rich taking up hobbies that don’t involve booze or politics. Dancing with the Stars has proven to be a launching pad for many careers in low budget reality television and hanging out at the Coffee Bean’s talking about who you almost worked with in the last millennium. Rumer Willis has one of those asses that makes a man almost not care about the cowboy jaw. Focus on the picture of the cute puppies on yonder wall and we’ll get through this. That’s something of a sparkling accomplishment already. Can she dance? Who cares. She’s already won.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Demi Moore Cleans Up To Watch Daughter Dance

By Lex March 24, 2015 @ 11:04 AM

Rumer Willis Gets Ready For Dancing With The Stars
According to RadarOnline, whose accuracy relies heavily on the broken clock metaphor, Demi Moore has freed herself of drugs and bad men and the demons that infect rich beautiful people because God hates perfect. She’s completely committed to helping her daughter win the top prize on Dancing With the Stars. This might not exorcise the drinking borne of mom huffing three cans of Reddi-Wip and humping the ref at AYSO Saturdays, but it has to mean something. You never grow too old to be too proud of your children. Those are my daughter’s tits! Mommy loves you. Let’s bake.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Rumer Willis Has Been Busy

By Lex February 05, 2015 @ 1:05 PM

Rumer Willis Has Been Busy On Social Media
It’d be presumptuous to attribute Rumer Willis’ die hard Instagram picture barrage to one night of scissor kissing with that practiced British-browed vagina hunter. Let’s say mostly inspired by. When your square jaw sets to quivering from the love whose name we dare not speak, you start thinking about all the big things you want to do with your life. Like posting selfies. Sometimes it’s best to activate your more elaborate dreams in stages. It’s still only Thursday.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Twitter

Cara Delevingne Bags a Willis

By Lex February 03, 2015 @ 11:50 AM

Cara Delevingne And Rumer Willis Enjoy Girls Night Out At West Hollywood
Cara Delevingne is rapid tonguing her way through disaffected young female Hollywood. I can’t remember which Willis girl Rumer is. The one who looks like Bruce, drinks like a fish, and hasn’t worked in a decade. Fuck, I can’t narrow it down. Rumer left a bar in West Hollywood holding hands with this unquenchable lesbian vampire. Holding hands in WeHo doesn’t mean the two of them are mere moments away from an after party of vanilla candles and poetic fisting. Traffic in L.A. sucks even at night. It could easily take half-an-hour.

Photo Credit:Coleman-Rayner

Rumer Willis Reminds Us She Once Had a Gig

By Lex December 23, 2014 @ 9:07 AM

Rumer Willis In Fishnets Promoting Her  Baz Luhrmann Cabaret Performance
Anybody who claims the Willis girls don’t seem to have jobs focuses on too narrow of a timeline. Rumer Willis just posted photos of herself from August 2013 when she worked a dinner theater gig in Los Feliz. She played Juliet in a cabaret tribute to the work of film director Baz Luhrmann who takes classic literature and turns it into lavish movies as an excuse to see Leonardo DiCaprio changing in his dressing room. The dancers strut between tables as you’re semaphoring the waiter with the international sign for ‘where’s the fucking half rotisserie chicken I ordered an hour ago’. I’ve seen shows like this before, but there was no food, just drinks, and the girls all took their tops off to confirm they were girls and asked if you wanted a private dance. I dig live theater.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Rumer Willis Books a Shoe Store Gig

By Lex October 17, 2014 @ 9:28 AM

Rumer Willis Shows Sideboob While Singing At Kelsi Dagger
When Lady Gaga sings at a hipster shoe store in Brooklyn, it’s record company promotional kitsch. If you’re Rumer Willis, it’s the best gig you can book. Being the oldest Willis daughter, Rumer decided it was time she pretended to have a job. She chose singer from the list of options in the back of her What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up coloring book. And why not. Singers are cool and bold and make people happy. As do high class escorts who also then have the money to buy shit in the store as opposed to just crooning from aside the hot boots display case. I give Rumer credit for not choosing Topless Activist or Wayward Drunk like her sisters when they leafed through the same coloring book. If she keeps skipping the bras, there’s no reason Rumer can’t be doing sets for the customers in the pharmacy lines at CVS soon enough.

Photo Credit: Splash