afternoon headlines

By brendon February 16, 2011 @ 7:43 PM

Vanessa Hudgens

AMANDA SEYFRIED – moved into a new house today, but without the help of her boyfriend Ryan Phillipe. Probably because he was busy hitting on Rihanna. But what do you expect, he’s not magic, he can’t be in two places at once. Be reasonable. (us.com)

GLEE – has only been on the air for 2 seasons, but they’ve now had 113 songs on the Billboard Top 100, breaking the previous record of 108, held by Elvis. Hopefully this little fact won’t get mentioned in a Memphis hate crime trial at some point. (e!)

HALLE BERRY – and her ex Gabriel Aubry have reached an amicable custody arrangement for their daughter. At least that’s what the headline implied. I got pretty bored after that. (huff post)

VANESSA HUDGENS – gets it. Even in New York, in February, she still wears really short dresses that show off her legs. But not too short. Hopefully someone was nice enough to point out that you can’t see her vagina, even if you look really hard. I bet she would appreciate that.

RYAN PHILLIPPE IS DRUNK, MAYBE HIGH

By brendon October 04, 2006 @ 9:02 AM

If you thought Ryan Phillipe looked drunk at last years Golden Globe awards, when his wife  Reese Witherspoon won Best Actress and Ryan jumped up and down and pointed into the audience and pumped his fists in the air, it turns out you're some kind of wunderkind psychic.  Ryan tells Rolling Stone:

"At the Golden Globes I was plastered.  Shirley MacLaine and I drank like crazy, just putting away bottles of wine and making fun of everyone."

And:

"The ultimate 20-year plan is to be living in the Caribbean, writing, living off the land, eating from the ocean and probably smoking herb."

He had to be high when he thought this plan up because that's the only time nonsense like this seems reasonable.  It sounds romantic and sexy, like an endless  Corona commercial, but the reality is you chasing a goat through the woods while a komodo dragon chases you.  You have scurvy now and a fever from the malaria, and they only thing you're writing is "HELP ME" in the sand with rocks.