Oliver Stone is smooth

By brendon September 19, 2012 @ 5:26 PM

oliver_stone_staring_at_salma_heyeks_tits

Salma Hayek and Oliver Stone were in London today to promote ‘Savages’, and to show me what a fool I’ve been all these years for trying to be discreet when staring at girls tits. Look at her, she’s in heaven, it turns out they love it!

(image source = getty, wenn)

Salma Hayek wore this to the ‘Prometheus’ premiere

By brendon June 01, 2012 @ 3:20 PM

salma_hayek_prometheus

Salma Hayek was one of the big stars at the ‘Prometheus’ world premiere in London last night, and I’m not gonna lie; there’s a lot of sexual tension between me and these pictures. Especially since I’ve been thinking lately that I should spend more time staring at her tits, this can’t be a coincidence.

(image source = bauer griffin, getty, splash)

Salma Hayek is getting a knighthood

By brendon January 03, 2012 @ 10:44 PM

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Nicolas Sarkozy (the President of France) will award Salma Hayek (an actress with big boobs) the Légion d’Honneur, which is the equivalent of a French knighthood.

Hayek will receive a formal induction, which involves a Presidential medal pinning.
Her induction will likely occur at the Élysées Palace within the next two months, says a source.
Founded by Napoleon in 1802 as a merit award, the Legion of Honor is awarded to military personnel and civilians for service to France. It is not exclusively reserved for the French and is often awarded to figures of international standing.
Past recipients – who are entitled to wear a small rosette pin indicating their rank – include Jerry Lewis, Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford and Robert De Niro.

So, even though this has gone to actors in the past, you must be wondering why Salma fucking Hayek would get one. The answer is because her husband is one of the Presidents best friends. Another answer might be because she has huge boobs and this way Sarkozy can “accidentally” rub them when putting the pin on. I mean he’s making a joke of this award anyway, might as well gun it.

(classic image source of hayek at a 2006 press conference for ‘ugly betty’ = getty)

Salma Hayek knows how to promote a cartoon

By brendon October 25, 2011 @ 7:42 PM

fp_8071327_hayek_salma

Salma Hayek has spent the last two days in new York promoting her new movie, the ‘Shrek’ spinoff ‘Puss-N-Boots’. Which of course is a cartoon meant for kids. Although you’d never know that by the way I just jacked off on her pictures. That’s a very adult look.

(image source = inf and bauer griffin)

Salma Hayek is photogenic

By brendon May 11, 2011 @ 10:57 AM

salma_hayek_cannes_cleavage

In real life, girls generally freak out if they don’t know you and you point a camera down their shirts and take pictures of their tits. In Hollywood, most of the girls are whores, and not only will they let you point a camera down their shirt, they’ll wave to you while you do it and say, “hello, how are you, thank you.”

Advantage: Hollywood.

(image source of salma hayek today at the cannes film festival for the premiere of ‘puss in boots’ = getty and flynet and wenn)

Salma Hayek is in a bikini

By brendon December 30, 2010 @ 2:24 PM

salma_hayek_bikini

More than anything else, the internet has taught me that Latin girls do anal. But second more than anything else, the internet has taught me that famous Hollywood stars are rarely as attractive as they appear in the media. Case in point: Salma Hayek, seen here in St Barts with her daughter Valentina, who is alreadWHAAAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT GIRLS HEAD. Whhyy, why is it so big? Is she sick or something? Why is it that big? Holy Christ, Salmas vag must look like the porthole on a ship.

(source = bauer griffin)