Salma Hayek knows how to promote a cartoon

By brendon October 25, 2011 @ 7:42 PM


Salma Hayek has spent the last two days in new York promoting her new movie, the ‘Shrek’ spinoff ‘Puss-N-Boots’. Which of course is a cartoon meant for kids. Although you’d never know that by the way I just jacked off on her pictures. That’s a very adult look.

(image source = inf and bauer griffin)

Salma Hayek is photogenic

By brendon May 11, 2011 @ 10:57 AM


In real life, girls generally freak out if they don’t know you and you point a camera down their shirts and take pictures of their tits. In Hollywood, most of the girls are whores, and not only will they let you point a camera down their shirt, they’ll wave to you while you do it and say, “hello, how are you, thank you.”

Advantage: Hollywood.

(image source of salma hayek today at the cannes film festival for the premiere of ‘puss in boots’ = getty and flynet and wenn)

Salma Hayek is in a bikini

By brendon December 30, 2010 @ 2:24 PM


More than anything else, the internet has taught me that Latin girls do anal. But second more than anything else, the internet has taught me that famous Hollywood stars are rarely as attractive as they appear in the media. Case in point: Salma Hayek, seen here in St Barts with her daughter Valentina, who is alreadWHAAAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT GIRLS HEAD. Whhyy, why is it so big? Is she sick or something? Why is it that big? Holy Christ, Salmas vag must look like the porthole on a ship.

(source = bauer griffin)

Salma Hayek is disapointing

By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 4:41 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Salma Hayek Taking Daughter Valentina To Her First Da

Salma Hayeks daughter Valentina had her first day of school yesterday, but we were the ones who really got an education. In this case, a jarring reminder that many sexy Hollywood stars are completely normal looking/fug in real life. One of the first 4 pictures below actually shows a woman who works on a coffee plantation taking her kid to school. They rode there on a burro. Try and spot which one.

Salma Hayek understands fashion

By brendon August 31, 2010 @ 6:30 PM


Salma Hayek went to Madeo in Los Angeles last night for dinner, and to make the night special she squeezed her size Huge breasts into a top made for toddlers. After seeing Anne Hathaway earlier, I wish there was some way to bring back segregation but stick me in with the Latin girls. Because they all have long hair and big tits. I don’t know if that’s how segregation works because I don’t read, but I don’t think Latin girls do either so I can probably trick them into this.

(image source = fame and pcn)

salma hayek at the ‘grown ups’ premiere

By brendon June 24, 2010 @ 12:44 AM


Salma Hayek went to the New York premiere of her movie ‘Grown Ups’ last night in New York and she wore this awesome dress that pushed up her huge breasts. If I were to make a movie right now it would be called, ‘Grown, Up, And Hard Enough To Cut Glass’.