Lindsay Lohan is back home in Long Island this week for some “quiet time” with her family between trials, which in reality of course means she spent the week hitting clubs in the city, making out with random guys and fucking Samantha Ronson. Page Six says…

On Wednesday, Lohan hit the scene at The Lion before visiting two clubs where she was spotted kissing a mystery man. She even managed to fit in a secret rendezvous with former girlfriend Samantha Ronson at the Standard Hotel earlier that afternoon, although they were spotted leaving separately.
Lohan insisted she wasn’t drinking and carried a water bottle all night.
A source told us, “There was no way she was going to stay home with her mom. She had dinner, and then, bringing along her water bottle, went clubbing to SL, where she hung out with Tyson Beckford and got in the booth with DJ Phresh. She seemed totally sober and upbeat. She asked if Sam Ronson had been there the night before.”
Lohan requested several songs before she was approached by Knicks star Jared Jeffries, who asked for a photo. Another source said, “Tyson was telling her, ‘You’re so amazing, you’re so beautiful, you’re so talented. It would be so sad to see that talent go to waste.’ They cheered with water.” Lohan then took the party to 1Oak and made out with “some random guy,” a spy said.
“Her family is furious. She’s supposed to be spending time with them and deciding if she’ll take a plea deal. It’s almost as if she thinks she may as well have one last final fling.”

Holy shit, is she STILL doing the water bottle thing, where she fills it with vodka? Because they’re both clear. Get it? It’s the perfect crime. You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to out wit Lindsay Lohan. The only flaw in her plan is that bars have water. They have tons of it, and it’s for sale. You don’t need to bring your own anymore than you need to bring your own chair or limes and a cutting board.

(image source = inf daily)

Lindsay Lohan spent about 11 weeks in rehab, and has been out for around 6, and even though she’s already managed to get arrested for felony theft, it still didn’t feel like she was back at 100 percent.

Now we’re good. X17 says…

Lindsay went out to get her party on last night, following her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson to their old stomping grounds - Teddy’s nightclub at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.
Linds arrived in her rented Porsche at 1:45 am to the parking lot of the hotel, looking for Sam.

A little while later Lindsay got into Sams car and Sam drove her home. Oh, but why didn’t Lindsay drive her car?

“Lindsay didn’t seem straight. She didn’t need to be behind the wheel and Sam always takes care of Lindsay no matter what … Sam feels a responsibility for Lindsay so she told Lindsay she’d drive her home.”

So Lindsay was drunk. What a surprising plot twist that was. Hopefully this felony theft thing will work out and she’ll go to jail for a long time so we don’t have to deal with her. Otherwise I’m just gonna wait until she goes home one night, dig a moat around her house and fill the god damned thing with crocodiles.

Earlier it might have sounded like I was blaming Sam Ronson for Lindsay Lohans problems. Far from it. Sam isn’t the one who’s a dysfunctional drug addict. In fact she’s respected and successful. The point was that Lindsay Lohan hasn’t changed in any way since being arrested or sent to rehab, and is still the same unstable lunatic she’s always been.

For example, the old Lindsay would follow Sam around from club to club, even when they were broken up, trailing Sam wherever she went. So what does the new Lindsay do?

Sam Ronson is furious that her ex-GF Lindsay Lohan is moving in next door — and yesterday, the DJ wanted to make it crystal clear, “Trust me, it wasn’t planned.”
Ss Ronson tried to get out of her Venice, CA pad yesterday — photogs tried to ask about the situation … but a frustrated Sam replied, “Dude, I’m way too pissed off right now.”

This should go without saying, but Lindsay might be crazy. As in, actually crazy. Like, if I were her therapist, instead of taking notes, I would be drawing pictures of a cukkoo clock, and that’s what I would give the judge. That would be my assessment. And then I would put my finger to my temple and move it in a circle, and whisper, “She’s a looonnatic.”

Let’s be perfectly clear: Lindsay Lohan is white trash, granted it’s white trash with very nice tits. White trash often has the nicest tits for some reason, or maybe it’s just that they’re the ones who let you see them the most.

But she’s definitely white trash, from a family of white trash, and she’s not ever gonna change, at least not until she has to suffer some real consequences for her actions. Which she hasn’t. And that’s why, yesterday, before she even left drug rehab, she moved in next door to - and I don’t mean that in a general sense, I mean literally 30 feet away from - Samatha Ronson. That’s both their houses in the picture above. Lindsays is on the right.

Ronson, you no doubt remember, is her ex girlfriend, the girl who works in bars and clubs and has been the central figure in Lindsays life for the past 2 years, when she was at her drunkest, highest and most useless, when she starred in way more mug shots than movies. Ronson even showed up yesterday while movers were unpacking Lindsays stuff.

In summation, if you live in Venice, run, run as fast as your legs will carry you, and don’t stop until you reach Irvine. Go, now, leave everything, forget about your parents, they had their chance, save yourself.

Judge Elden Fox was the one who allowed Lindsay Lohan to leave rehab yesterday, 68 days earlier than planned, and today he spelled out the newest terms of her probation. There’s no doubt she’s ready to change now, considering the valuable lesson she learned the last 10 times she essentially told the court to fuck off.

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Lindsay Lohan tried to hide her face as she left a bar early Thursday morning, reportedly because her ex-lover Samantha Ronson punched her in the face and split her lip. It takes more than that to keep Lindsay out of a bar though, and she was back at it last night, this time trying to execute her poorly thought out revenge. X17 says…

Last night Lindsay went to Madeo with some pals, and after that the group headed over to Voyeur. About 30 minutes after Lindsay arrived, Samantha showed up.
…on her way out, Lindsay spoke to a traffic officer and asked if he could pull Sam over since she had been drinking inside the club!

It’s hard to believe the cop didn’t arrest Sam on the spot after Detective Freckles went undercover like that. Considering Lindsay did it after leaving a bar, I would have thought the cop had everything he could have needed. “Hey. Hey. Hey loo at me. Hey yu, yu loo a’me. Are you? R yu police? OK good, becuz, that girl, yu see that girl? Yu see? Grl in hat? Well, she drunk. And now drive! Wha! Wha is that! Yu arres her I think. Then evrybody safety!”

(image source = splash news online)