Samuel L Jackson Wasted on Good Intentions (VIDEO)

By Matt December 16, 2014 @ 6:33 AM

Sam Jackson posted a video he clearly won’t remember asking for a Celebrity Call to Action from his Connecticut home paid for with Capitol One money. He could’ve just hit Reply All from the last Sean Penn email asking his fellow SAG members why nobody came to dig spread fields with him in shanty towns in Haiti, but he chose the YouTube video route instead. It’s one thing to get wicked drunk and make an ass of yourself. It’s another if you’re being a dick about it and calling out Lou Gehrig’s Disease for a fight on the blacktop after school. Get your old ass out there if you give a shit about police brutality or any other social ills you read about with your legs crossed. Failing that, make your maid promise not to listen to you the next time you get liquored and order her to roll camera.

Sam Rubin Is One Stupid Cracker (VIDEO)

By Jack February 11, 2014 @ 1:52 PM

KTLA reporter Sam Rubin can’t tell Samuel L. Jackson and Lawrence Fishburne apart. You know, because they are both older black dude actors. It all began when Rubin conducted a remote interview with Jackson about his latest crappy paycheck movie, Robocop. Rubin asked Jackson about public reaction to his Super Bowl commercial. Of course, Jackson didn’t have a super bowl commercial. Rubin was referring to the KIA ad in which Lawrence Fishburne reprized his role as Morpheus from the Matrix movies. Jackson then went on an epic rant that, which surprisingly, didn’t contain the word motherfucker. Jackson said,

I’m not Laurence Fishburne. We don’t all look alike. We may be all black and famous, but we all don’t look alike. You’re busted…There’s more than one black guy doing a commercial. I’m the ‘What’s in your wallet?’ black guy. Morgan Freeman is the other credit card black guy. You only hear his voice though so you probably won’t confuse him with Laurence Fishburne. You’re the entertainment reporter for this station? And you don’t know the difference between me and Laurence Fishburne? There must be a very short line for your job.

I often mix up actors. Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman are the same fucking person as far as I’m concerned. Everybody named Dermott or Dylan in Hollywood is the same fucking person. But that’s because they have similar names and make really fucking shitty movies. Not because they’re all pasty white dudes who couldn’t play sports. A simple Google search would have told this morning news show teleprompter reader that Lawrence Fishburne was Morpheus. Rubin apologized but the damage was done. Among the two black people who have ever watched him on television, expect one to drop out.

the new ‘Robocop’ delivers on robot cop promise

By brendon October 08, 2012 @ 12:08 PM

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The ‘Robocop’ re-make filmed some more scenes in Toronto over the weekend, and true to their word, there is a half robot, half police officer.

Directed by the very capable José Padilha (‘Elite Squad‘), it stars the terrific Joel Kinnaman (Detective KFed on ‘The Killing’) and a cast way way better than a movie with such a stupid premise deserves, including Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael Keaton, and Gary Oldman, who was probably told that this is another Batman movie.

(image source = inf, splash)

when did Heather Locklear get breasts

By brendon August 04, 2011 @ 4:50 PM

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Heather Locklear is in London today for Samuel L. Jacksons Shooting Stars charity golf tournament to raise money for the Make A Wish foundation, and apparently her wish was to get breasts for the first time in her life. And her wish came true. What a heart warming post this was.

Samuel L. Jackson says its motherfuckin bedtime

By brendon June 15, 2011 @ 3:13 PM

‘Go The Fuck To Sleep’ is a bedtime story for children as told by someone who’s had it with this bullshit, and now it’s an audio book read by Samuel L. Jackson. So if you know what’s good for you, you little bastards will wash away your cares and drift away to dreamland, this instant, before you get a foot up your ass.