By brendon April 08, 2010 @ 10:21 AM
Sandra Bullock has already issued a statement denying that she ever made a sex tape, and the source of the rumor went on Opie and Anthony yesterday and back-peddled his ass off, and now Jesse James tells People pretty much the same thing Sandra did.
While Bullock denied an Internet report of such a sex tape, James has broadened the denial to also include an online story claiming he’s in at least a dozen sex tapes with other women featuring Nazi-themed paraphernalia.
“The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated,” says a rep for James.
I heard someone say they believed the Sandra Nazi sex tape story because, until Thanksgiving, no one ever reported anything bad about Tiger Woods either. As if that’s how “proof” works. Apparently if a black male athlete in Florida cheats on his wife, then that means a white female actress in California is getting a shotgun shoved up her ass and filming it. See? It’s the exact the same thing. I can barely even tell the two stories apart. So Tiger made a Nazi sex tape with Sandra? Wait, start over.
By brendon April 06, 2010 @ 5:30 PM
Sandra Bullock hasn’t said a word in public since the news broke about her husband whoring around, but the rumor of a sex tape – even though it’s the dumbest thing you’ll ever hear and the source is a fuckin idiot who clearly just makes things up – was enough to force her to make a statement.
“There is no sex tape,” she says in a statement to PEOPLE on Tuesday. “There never has been one and there never will be one.”
Until now, Bullock, 45, had not commented, remaining in seclusion since reports surfaced that James, 40, allegedly had cheated on her with at least four other women.
She spoke out in response to an online report that James possesses a graphic sex tape which he could possibly use as leverage in a divorce case.
‘Demolition Man’ came out in 1993, and ‘Speed’ was one year later. So Sandra Bullock has been really famous for almost 20 years. How many bad things have you ever heard about her? Total. I can’t think of one. Not one bad story or rumor in 20 years. Yet suddenly she’s a Nazi shoving guns up her ass? That sounds like 5 different rumors about 5 different people just crammed into one. There’s probably a longer version of this rumor where she pours AIDS into the water supply and works for the Men in Black.
By brendon April 06, 2010 @ 10:53 AM
Yesterday the internet was all ramped up because there was a story claiming Sandra Bullock had a super deviant sex tape with Jesse James.
It includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler moustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s asshole with a shotgun in his left hand.
Seriously? Are we being serious? Sandra Bullock. Getting anally raped. With a shotgun. And she filmed it. Seriously?
Read more >
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:40 PM
Jesse James was supposed to spend 45 days in sex rehab in a half-assed attempt to convince Sandra Bullock that he wanted to stop banging random whores. Now that he had been caught, that is. Now he wants to stop.
Unfortunately for him, Sandra was unmoved by this hollow gesture, so he goose-stepped out early this morning after staying just 4 days. The New York Post says…
Jesse James reportedly bolted from a sex-addition clinic after his Oscar-winning wife refused to take his phone call.
An angry James checked out of the Sierra Tucson treatment center, because Sandra Bullock, whom he betrayed with a bevy of babes, apparently wants nothing more to do with him.
Bullock is reportedly concerned that James will try for a face-to-face reconciliation.
This dork is so screwed. People love Sandra Bullock, and this tubby poser really embarrassed her. His reputation couldn’t be any worse unless he left rehab, drove to Disneyland and punched Winnie The Pooh in the face.
GROVELING UPDATE – aaaand now he’s back in.
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:03 PM
SANDRA BULLOCK - has begun preparing her divorce papers, and thanks to a kickass pre-nup, Jesse James will walk away with nothing. Except for his awesome sleeve tats, that is. That guy is a real winner. (radar)
CLASH OF THE TITANS - made an astounding 64 million at the box office this weekend. I was so amazed I read this article to my 3-year-old nephew. “The Kraken was released, and it devoured the Easter bunny,” it began. Oh stop crying. It’s time for you to grow up. (b.o.m.)
DANA WHITE - is up for Times Top 100. People should vote for him because he’s changed the culture of sports in America, and he’s on a list with a bunch of retarded fucking actors who don’t influence a god damn thing. Except for Zoe Saldana, who influences me to go jackoff, and Jenny McCarthy, who has killed over 500 kids. She’s like Stalin. I guess that would be considered influential. (time)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - hosted a party at MGM’s Wet Republic pool bar in Vegas over the weekend. She’s so helpful. I’ve been hearing a lot about huge breasts on the news lately, so it was good to finally see what everyone has been raving about.
By brendon April 02, 2010 @ 7:38 PM
JESSE JAMES - is hoping time in rehab and some privacy will save his marriage. He also thinks maybe some aspirin will bring Brittany Murphy back to life. (the ap)
DINA LOHAN - says the report that Lindsay was behind on her rent is a complete lie and Lindsay is doing great. Man, what a relief. I was worried that Lindsay might be in some kind of trouble. Seems silly in hindsight. (radar)
LINDSAY LOHAN - did bounce her rent checks, but other than that, the story about being behind on her rent is a complete lie. So see, Lindsay did send a check. It’s the thought that counts. (tmz)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says women shouldn’t change just to please a man. “If you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.” Stay rigid and never compromise, that’s the key to a good relationship, says the girl who is divorced and has no boyfriend. (popeater)
TYLER READERS UNITE - and go to College Humors ‘Hottest College Girl’ contest and vote for Nikki (last girl, south region) because she reads Tyler too and asked me to do this. She’s impossibly gorgeous, has a perfect body and does kegstands in a bikini. Not only should she win, they should rename the championship trophy after her. (contest, facebook)