By Lex July 21, 2014 @ 6:30 AM
This chick is the hottest thing to come out of Portugal since, fuck, I can’t name anything else. There’s a sausage I think that’s Portuguese at my local brat place. It’s pretty damn tasty. But it’s a distant second to this supermodel. Maybe the Portuguese will do something big again like they did in the 16th century and knock Sara in her underwear down to second place. Cure cancer or invent an electric car that isn’t emasculating or something that changes the course of history. Or they can just steal good looking girl babies from Spain and wait eighteen years.
Photo Credit: Next
By Lex April 03, 2014 @ 11:37 AM
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
By Lex January 16, 2014 @ 5:27 PM
It used to be Vasco da Gama, because I love pepper and it’s bullshit that before da Gama, you couldn’t get cracked black pepper on your salad at fancy restaurants. But now I’m going with Sara Sampaio because her tits look like perfect globes and she didn’t give syphilis to 80% of the world like da Gama. I’ve worked on photo shoots before and there’s always that awkward moment when you have to ask the model if maybe she could pull her top down to be artistically relevant for a certain look. You’re lying, you just want to snap her boobs. But when she says yes, there’s a weight off everybody’s shoulders because the uncomfortable song and dance need not occur. Also, you’re now officially getting paid to have a boner.
Photo Credit: Stockton Johnson
By Lex October 18, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex March 21, 2013 @ 3:27 PM
I’ve never met a girl from Portugal who wasn’t hot. I’ve met three. They’ve all been out of my league, by several leagues. Put Sara Sampaio in that category. I feel like she’s perhaps one of the best looking women in the world. But I feel that way about many women and I say it to any woman I think might sleep with me. Still, being a Victoria’s Secret model is some distinguishing mark on your resume. It’s something you can drop in conversations when the bitches be getting catty with you. Yeah, I didn’t notice my shoes were last season when I was wearing them for Victoria’s Secret lingerie catalog shoot. Or stuff like that. In reality, I have no idea how women talk to each other. But I do watch TV and that’s how it goes down.