Sarah Jessica Parker Still Alive, Has Four Fans To Take Shopping For $400

Only a place like Manhattan could offer the sense of refinement associated with post-menopausal women owning their sexuality in colorful garbage, and no one says "I've lost touch with reality" more than New York City's most famous horse in clothes, I mean, clotheshorse,... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Expanding

In case you were wondering where you might find $400 colorful shoes while in Maryland, Sarah Jessica Parker has you freshly covered. The style maven and wife to an unconvincing Mathew Broderick has been raking in cash selling her madly inventive "rainbow colored" line of... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Says Neigh to EpiPen

Sarah Jessica Parker has cut ties with EpiPen even though they make the Epinephrine emergency injector she slams into her son's chest plate any time he even sees a TV ad for peanut butter. Also, they hired her to mention she loved it. read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Combing Through Trash

Sarah Jessica Parker found a filthy discarded sink on the side of a New York City street and took it home with her. It's something women who spend a shit ton of money on consumer goods and Bolivian natural pap smears do on occasion to pretend they're artsy and... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Is Snorting Mad

Sarah Jessica Parker is angry at self appointed relationship expert Sarah J. Symonds. Apparently, Symonds pointed out that Sarah Jessica's kids don't look like her. This is due in large part because Parker used a surrogate to produce her twins because she went through... read more

You're Still Not Fooling Us, Matthew Broderick

Arriving at the red carpet of the opening of an off-Broadway play in New York City last night, Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker reminded us that their 16-year marriage has made them one of Hollywood's most beloved couples. Of course, that is if you don't think... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker, Why the Long Face?

People who make jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker ought to be trotted out and put down. It's lame. She's a busy working mother of between two and five specially grown womb kids. Yet she still finds time to workout eleven hours a day and get home to make coffee for the man... read more

Life Gave Sarah Jessica Parker Lemons, She Made Lemonade Tits

There's no point in rehashing the progression of Sarah Jessica Parker from nerdy teen band girl to what she has become today, cabullus maxiumus. But here's the thing about this old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be. She got new hooters. And dammit, you need to... read more

Carrie Bradshaw had some rough years

The first official image from the CW's ‘Sex and the City' prequel has been released, showing AnnaSophia Robb as Carrie Bradshaw in the 1980's. That's the same girl Sarah Jessica Parker played in the 1990's. And they really nailed it. I have no idea what happened to her... read more

Christina Hendricks makes pictures better

Christine Hendricks attended the premiere of "I Don't Know How She Does It" in New York last night, which means everyone else became nothing but scale to gauge the size of her tits. This sounds like a delightful movie by the way. I'd really like to hear more about how... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker is gettin me all hot

Sarah Jessica Parker and her veiny arms were out in New York this weekend, and the only way I can explain her career as a movie star is the same reason the Twilight books are so popular. Because women are always complaining about being held to a double standard of... read more

Sarah Jessica Parker is trying to end poverty

Sarah Jessica Parker went to a party last night for the Robin Hood Foundation, a charity whose goal is to end poverty. Because she's very concerned. She cares a lot. But before that she put on some fist-sized diamond earrings and picked out a jewel encrusted... read more