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Sarah Jessica Parker Combing Through Trash

Sarah Jessica Parker found a filthy discarded sink on the side of a New York Citystreet and took it home with her. It's something women who spend a shit ton of money on consumer goods and Bolivian natural pap smears do on occasion to pretend they're artsy and whimsical.Parker ismarried to eternallypre-pubescent MatthewBroderick. He can't feel good about his wife lugging a trashedkitchen basin into their multi-million...read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Is Snorting Mad

Sarah Jessica Parker is angry at self appointed relationship expert Sarah J. Symonds. Apparently, Symonds pointed out that Sarah Jessica's kids don't look like her. This is due in large part because Parker used a surrogate to produce her twins because she went through menopause during the protracted struggles of World War II. Symonds took down her Tweet but she had already incurred the wrath of the donkey troll....read more

You're Still Not Fooling Us, Matthew Broderick

Arriving at the red carpet of the opening of an off-Broadway play in New York City last night, Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker reminded us that their 16-year marriage has made them one of Hollywood's most beloved couples. Of course, that is if you don't think that he's actually gay and the whole thing is a needless sham, like a lot of people believe. But if that is the case, he should be honest with himself...read more

Sarah Jessica Parker, Why the Long Face?

People who make jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker ought to be trotted out and put down. It's lame. She's a busy working mother of between two and five specially grown womb kids. Yet she still finds time to workout eleven hours a day and get home to make coffee for the man leaving her husband's room with a guilty look on his face. She's to be admired. Now, go on, brush her coat shiny and feed her a fucking carrot....read more

Life Gave Sarah Jessica Parker Lemons, She Made Lemonade Tits

There's no point in rehashing the progression of Sarah Jessica Parker from nerdy teen band girl to what she has become today, cabullus maxiumus. But here's the thing about this old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be. She got new hooters. And dammit, you need to look at them. Even at a Scholastic Art & Writing Awards ceremony in New York. There's no place where a big old set of mam-jobs won't take attention...read more

Carrie Bradshaw had some rough years

The first official image from the CW's ‘Sex and the City' prequel has been released, showing AnnaSophia Robb as Carrie Bradshaw in the 1980's. That's the same girl Sarah Jessica Parker played in the 1990's. And they really nailed it. I have no idea what happened to her face in those middle years, but she must wake up screaming about it 5 times a week. Robb must be relieved though. If I was a teenage girl, and someone...read more

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Christina Hendricks makes pictures better

Christine Hendricks attended the premiere of "I Don't Know How She Does It" in New York last night, which means everyone else became nothing but scale to gauge the size of her tits. This sounds like a delightful movie by the way. I'd really like to hear more about how Sarah Jessica Parker is so fabulous at EVERYthing, ALL the time, because I'm so amazed by it. I hope there's like 30 of these.read more

Sarah Jessica Parker is gettin me all hot

Sarah Jessica Parker and her veiny arms were out in New York this weekend, and the only way I can explain her career as a movie star is the same reason the Twilight books are so popular. Because women are always complaining about being held to a double standard of beauty, so when they read about some plain girl or see a movie with the feral wolf-like thing in these pictures, it makes them feel good about themselves....read more

Sarah Jessica Parker is trying to end poverty

Sarah Jessica Parker went to a party last night for the Robin Hood Foundation, a charity whose goal is to end poverty. Because she's very concerned. She cares a lot. But before that she put on some fist-sized diamond earrings and picked out a jewel encrusted crocodile-skin bag, then teased her hair up like she was in Poison and/or the ThunderCats. Then she went to the party. Then she went home. "If only there was...read more

sarah jessica parker looks great

Sarah Jessica Parker is 45-years-old, but she looks better than ever! Of course that bar is pretty low because she's alarmingly ugly and always has been. It would be like saying a turkey looks better than ever. Or a foot. But now people are worrying because she's losing so much weight. To film 'Sex and the City 2', she went from a size 4 to a size 0, and now she's getting even skinnier. The Daily Mail says... The...read more

mummies with hoop earings, pt 2

Sarah Jessica Parker filmed more 80's flashback scenes for the ‘Sex and the City' sequel yesterday (just like Kim Cattrall the day before), despite the fact that she looks 95 years old, I don't give a fuck how many bangle bracelets you put on her. This movies got some balls. You might as well put antlers on a pig and call it a deer. At least they had the good sense to hold back on the Madonna-style crucifix. Any...read more

Sexy Lady alert

Movies like "Twilight" and "Sex and the City" are popular for the same reason: fat and unattractive girls like stories where a plain or even ugly girl is fawned over by sexy hunks. It makes them think that they too might be swept off their feet in a storybook romance. That's not going to happen of course. Which is why Sarah Jessica Parker is, in real life, married to a foppish dandy. They just had kids with a...read more

The sexy couple had their twins

"Double the congratulations are in order for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, as news station WTRF reports that the couples' twins via surrogate arrived last night at the East Ohio Regional Hospital in Martins Ferry, Ohio. The station also reports that SJP and Matthew are with the surrogate at the hospital, and are expected to make an announcement about the births later this afternoon." OK magazine said all...read more

what a hot couple

The things you always hear about these two are that she’s a complete bitch and he’s gay. And if you imagine yourself as either one of them, is it really surprising? If you were him would you rather take a gentleman in your mouth or get on that goblin wife of his. This is what she looks like out on the town. If you saw her just stepping out of the shower you might literally die. And he’s no better. He looks like Thomas...read more

ITS MY LUCKY DAY

Everyone in the media agrees that Sarah Jessica Parker is gorgeous and amazing, but keep in mind that everyone in the media is either a girl or gay guy or a gay guy still in the closet. Point being, expect a lot of hand wringing about that withered old hag breaking up with her eunuch husband.Star told you first that Sarah Jessica Parker's husband, Matthew Broderick, was cheating on her with a younger woman. Now, we can...read more