Halle Berry, Leonardo DiCaprio, Natalie Portman, Sarah Silverman, Benecio Del Toro and Tobey Maguire are just a few of the stars in this video that stretches a 30 second premise into 5 excruciating minutes. They begin by telling you not to vote, and then they say it again. In fact they say it for far longer than is appropriate, but then, buckle the fuck up, because there’s a twist coming that will completely blow your mind. I had to walk around the room for a little while with my hands above my head just to catch my breath.
After dating for the past 5 years, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have ended their relationship. Vanity Fair was the first to break the story:
Sad news for comedy and monogamy fans: late night talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel and his girlfriend of five years, comedienne Sarah Silverman, have broken up. Kimmel’s rep Lewis Kay and Silverman’s rep Amy Zvi both confirmed that Jimmy and Sarah are no longer dating and issued a joint statement that “Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.” With them, so has the faith of all those believed—as we did—that their union was the binding force that kept Hollywood from exploding in a mass chain reaction of irony and sexual frivolity.
Some people say Vanity Fair is irrelavnt these days, but without them, who would take a simple break up story and report it in the fruitiest, most confusing way possible?
Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have dated for years now, but it turns out she's had a secret all this time. This video was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and I think it's for real. Isn't Damon married? This is gonna send shockwaves through Hollywood today. Stay tuned for breaking news as it happens.
TMZ caught up with Hayden Panettiere at LAX and when they asked her about Britneys VMA performance and specifically if Sarah Silvermans Britney jokes were too rough, bam, Sarah Silverman walks right up. Apparently there's some special terminal for movie stars and hilarious comedians. I clearly don't get sent to that one. I do however get the one where foreigners scream at me like they're some kind of sea monster as I try to get to my gate. And I'm not gonna lie to you, that one is pretty nice too. It's relaxing.
Put your coffee down and brace yourself, because apparently Paris Hilton can't take a joke. Oh, I know, I couldn't believe it either. But backstage at the MTV Awards, after Sarah Silverman rode Paris in the above clip, Paris was overheard saying,
"She's a fucking bitch. I hate her."
Oh boo-fuckin-hoo you whore. Blame Sarah all you want for the joke, but what about the 10,000 people who laughed at you when all Sarah said was "in a couple of days, Paris Hilton is going to jail". Was that Sarah's fault too? Did she run around really fast and clap so it would look like the entire auditorium was breaking into thunderous applause? Probably she did, yes. Sarah Silverman can do anything. I heard one time someone tried to shoot Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah stepped in front of the bullet and caught it in her teeth and then spit it out and then told the dude guns are for little babies and then the dude started to cry because he felt real bad about using something a little baby would use. Sarah is amazing!!!
