Leah Remini Is Writing A Tell-All About Scientology

By Travis August 05, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

It seemed like actress Leah Remini was trying to keep out of the spotlight in the wake of her decision to leave the Church of Scientology, and that was probably a good idea unless she wanted to be chained to “Lord Xenu’s Radiator of Galactic Peril” on board the SS Fuckin’ CRAZY for the next 60 years. But L. Ron Hubbard’s wrath be damned, because she was all smiles at the 15th annual DesignCare event in Malibu just two weeks ago.

According to US Weekly, Leah revealed at that event that she will be writing a tell-all book about her experiences in Scientology, including “everything that’s taboo to talk about,” which I assume means all of the late night tickle fights between Tom Cruise and church leader David Miscavige, during which Katie Holmes would cry while thinking about how she used to be one of the hottest young actresses in the world.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Ex-Scientologists Protested At Tom Cruise’s Oblivion Premiere

By Travis April 04, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Last year, while he was filming his new sci-fi movie Oblivion, Tom Cruise was in the middle of his divorce from Katie Holmes. But he needed people to remember that no matter what happened with this, his third divorce, he was still a walking, talking boner machine that loved having sex with hot women. And in this case, it was his co-star Olga Kurylenko.

Of course, even though Olga was dating someone else, she was still linked to Tom, because that’s just how it works when you spend your days with someone who slays as much pussy as he does. So they must have had a good laugh about that when they were together in Ireland last night for the premiere of Oblivion.

They probably also laughed when ex-Scientologist Samantha Domingo showed up to protest in a t-shirt that read, “Scientology Church of Forced Abortions”, referring to her accusations that the church once forced her to get an abortion. “You’re still hung up on that,” Cruise would chuckle before ordering a team of naked men to use their glittery genitals to deflect her evil energy. At least that’s how I assume it went down.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Tom Cruise might be leaving Scientology. But why?

By brendon September 26, 2012 @ 7:07 PM

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This seems unlikely, but Star says Tom Cruise has been distancing himself from Scientology in the wake of his divorce from Katie Holmes and spending more time with non-Scientologist friends because he feels it has hurt him both personally and professionally.

“Tom’s been leaning on friends who have different perspectives, getting advice on moving on from Katie as well as on everything he’s been going through with Scientology,” the insider said. “He’s finally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn’t served him as well as he’d hoped — he’s gone through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low.”

Hopefully this is true because Tom Cruise is a genuinely nice guy by all accounts. I assume Scientology will try to harass him into staying but just ignore them. They’re basically sci-fi nerds. They’re about as intimidating as those gangs in old movies who walk together in a line snapping their fingers.

Scientologists think Tom Cruise has telepathic powers

By brendon July 11, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

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Tom Cruise has reportedly reached such an advanced level in Scientology that he now has power over the physical universe and can bend the wills of men. And also animals. Because religion and Call of Duty work the same way; you achieve and unlock levels.

Cruise is at the very advanced “OT VII” stage. Operative Thetans (have) total ‘control’ over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings.”
“At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.”

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but if Sceientolgoy can turn me into some Magneto-Charles Xavier-Aquaman hybrid, they should have advertised that and made it much more clear. Here’s my money. Point me toward the e-meters.

(image source of cruise back on the set of ‘oblivion‘ in mammoth, ca, because despite all that other stuff, tom cruise is a fucking professional who fully commits to every movie he makes = inf)

Lindsay Lohan is a scientologist now

By brendon May 06, 2011 @ 1:08 PM

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It was weird when the producer of the John Gotti movie talked about how great Lindsay Lohan was and that he was really excited about hiring her, but then said it wasn’t gonna happen, right before it did.

Well the National Enquirer says that’s because even that shitty looking project knew enough to not trust her, but changed their minds when stars John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston promised to look after her. Which in this case means brainwash her.

“Even though producers were hesitant to hire Lindsay because of her troubled past, Travolta assured them he’d take her under his wing.?
“He feels confident he’ll be able to keep her on the straight and narrow … now and forever.”
Lohan has apparantly agreed to attend a Church of Scientology induction course, with the source adding:
“John introduced Lindsay to one of the church’s top counsellors and – even though she’s been cast in a new role and won’t play the star’s daughter in the flick – she’s assured him she’ll still attend the series of induction classes that will make her a Scientologist.”

In hindsight it’s amazing that she’s not already a scientologist. That bitch is dumb as a rock, she’s the perfect victim for these people. Instead of scientology and Lindsay Lohan, picture a crouching cheetah and a limping gazelle. It’s pretty much the same thing.

kirstie alley and her new diet might be a scientology trick

By brendon March 16, 2010 @ 2:47 PM

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Is the new diet company “Organic Liason”, the one fronted and partially owned by Kirstie Alley, actually just another secret Scientology fundraiser? Yes.

Next Story!

Or if you’re one of those nerds who likes reading, there’s this from the Hollywood Reporter. I only read like the first sentence because I’m not good with names. I’ll never remember all that. So even if I had read it it would be like I never did. So really, whats the point? That was a good story, wasn’t it?

Organic Liaison’s advisory board includes a prominent Scientologist named Michelle Seward. Seward is also the CEO of Protege Financial, a Scientology-based company.
The corporate office for Organic Liaison is in Clearwater, Fla. — headquarters, not coincidentally, of Scientology. Organic Liaison is in the same building in Clearwater as the World Institute of Scientology.
Another member of the advisory board, Thomas Lovejoy, has a long association with Scientology through its so-called “Artists for Human Rights.” That group includes noted sect members Kelly Preston and Anne Archer.
Also: Organic Liaison’s accountant is Saul Lipson, a highly placed Scientologist.

Scientology or not, Kirstie Alley obviously knows the secret to physical health, so I’m gonna do whatever she does. Although I may only do half. I don’t want to lose too much weight, too quickly. Ohh, I should take a bunch of pictures starting today to document my rocket ride to fitness!