Scout Willis Is Art

By Lex February 20, 2015 @ 8:33 AM

Scout Willis put her all into her art this past year, producing no less than eight photographs of something resembling her square vagina for a wall in somebody’s basement in London. Willis used the Polaroids Universal Labs process to take cellphone pictures of her lady chunk and turn them into trippy Polaroids like you might’ve seen entourage whores taking during Stones’ recording sessions in the 60′s.

I like to be in control of what I’m making. I’ve seen my parents put everything into a role and then somewhere along the line it becomes about other peoples’ decisions.Scout Willis, artist

I’m sure your parents regret Die Hard and Ghost and wish they had stuck to blurry naked selfies. The three people who walked by looking for the toilet stared at Scout’s arm pit hair and tits for a few moments then complimented her on whatever it is she was doing and carried on for a piss in the loo. Baby steps, Van Gogh with slightly bigger nipples.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Scout And Tallulah Willis in Bondage

By Lex September 22, 2014 @ 9:14 AM

Scout Willis And Tallulah Willis Pose In Bondage Gear Together
I bet Taullulah Willis didn’t tell her rehab counselors her transition back to unsupervised life began with a incestuous topless mistress leather photo shoot with her sister in New York. Lindsay Lohan figured out by the third rehab that you tell the doctors you’re going to move-in with your stable Aunt Helen and read books and do nothing but be the best you you can be for the next three months. You don’t need Oprah getting on your shit. I think there’s some ancient Chinese proverb about two Willis jaws meeting and the earth ending in a volcano of fire. Running would be useless at this point, but I’d still recommend looking away so it’s not the last thing you see before the molten core goes blooey.

Photo Credit: Todd Pendu

Tallulah Willis and Scout Willis Naked Bath Time

By Lex September 19, 2014 @ 9:56 AM

Tallulah Willis Takes A Bath With Her Sister Scout Willis
Some people consider it gross that adult siblings would bathe naked together. I say it’s beautiful. Not so much the thought of two Willis she-brute jaws locked in taboo passion, that actually made me throw up a bit, but Scout taking time out of her busy day of acting once in 1998 to welcome her younger sister out of rehab with a good scrub.

According to the checkout counter rags, the Willis girls are reeling from their dad remarrying some young model and making new babies and mom trying to find somebody even younger and more douchey than Ashton Kutcher to watch her do whip-its with her vagina. Good luck with that. The downside of being celebrity kids is self-absorbed parents. The upside is open calendars and afternoon Caligula baths.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Scout Willis Topless Protesting Instagram

By Lex May 28, 2014 @ 4:32 PM

I guess Scout Willis is fed up with Instagram snatching away her accounts for showing off her titties, so she’s showing off her titties on Twitter. It all makes sense if you’ve got lots of free time and you live in New York where a new boob empowerment revolution is taking place. Not surprising, like most other topless revolutions led by women, the girls who can curry some favor with the site of their yabbos are hiding them, while the girls from Vassar who dig the shawarma are taking off their tops in Manhattan to find their inner Lena Dunham. Nevertheless, I’ve never met a topless protest I didn’t at least stop to ask, ‘Hey, tell me your cause so I can pretend to be interested in it while I stare at you and your roommates tits. By the way, hers are nicer.’

Photo credit: Scout Willis Twitter

Scout Willis Is Young Hollywood

By Lex May 09, 2014 @ 3:05 PM

Scout Willis Wears A See Through Top To NYLON And BCBGGeneration's Young Hollywood Party In Los Angeles
Nylon Magazine held a party to celebrate young talent in Hollywood. The Willis girls are no longer young so they had to sneak into the event pretending to be teamsters dropping off the tables. The more normal jawline babies Bruce keeps adding to his collection, the more the original daughters like Scout realize they need to step up their game. Flashing her tits in a Macao street hooker top probably wasn’t first on her list, but winning an Oscar and making the cut for the astronaut program probably weren’t as realistically available.

Photo Credit: Splash