HOOPER PENN - is the 16-year-old son of Sean Penn, and last week he was arrested at his prissy Malibu high school. At the time it wasn’t clear why, but now it’s been reveled that - brace yourself - he had drugs. I should go talk to his school about the “Hugs, Not Drugs” program. You, in the front row, with the red hair and big tits, come on up and we’ll show the class how this works. (radar)
JENNIFA YOPEZ - is fighting to stop the release of 11 hours of home video footage, which among other things shows her parading around mostly naked and arguing with her mother. A Latin girl who is overtly sexual but also has a temper? Yeah, right! This sounds fake to me. (enquirer)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - walked around LA today, and in some of the pictures from this set her arms were up across her chest and you couldn’t see her huge tits. Needless to say I skipped right over those. (pacific coast)
TAYLOR SWIFT AND KANYE WEST - are an awesome costume that I bet more people wish they had thought of. And yes we were supposed to be done with Halloween pictures but I didn’t count on finding this one. Or this one of a ridiculously hot girl dressed as a Playboy bunny. Know what else I didn’t count on? Falling in love. (college humor)
RIHANNA - says she was humiliated when the picture of her with cuts and bruises on her face after being beaten by Chris Brown leaked online. Which is silly because that’s not her fault, and it let everyone know what a punk Chris Brown really is. Wearing those big dumb hoop earrings however is her fault, and she needs to knock that shit off. (abc news)
SEAN PENN - is the father of 16-year-old Hopper Penn, who was arrested at his Malibu school last week. Because Hooper is a minor police won’t say what he did. So let’s start telling people he joined al qaeda. “Hey did you hear Sean Penns son is in al qaeda? Oh I know! What a piece of shit that punk is. Let’s go throw rocks and bottles at his dad!” (wonderwall)
MARIAH CAREY - almost fell down as she walked out as a guest on the Jay Leno show yesterday. But then she didn’t, as you can see in this video. I’ve never seen such agility. She’s like a gazelle. (popeater)
MICHAEL JACKSON - The AP confirms today he will be buried on August 29, but that “details about the ceremony have been tightly guarded.” They go on to confirm that Jackson will be buried in a private ceremony at Forest Lawn-Glendale on the Holly Terrace at the cemetery’s Great Mausoleum, about 8 miles north of downtown Los Angeles. What, no longitude and latitude? Wow, these details are closely guarded. (source = ap)
SEAN PENN - his wife has filed for divorce again. It’s the third time in 2 years they’ve filed paperwork for this. She must be crazy. Guys who can make strange comments about oil and war and then sulk about it don’t just grow on trees. (source = e!)
MICHELLE KEEGAN - I don’t put up very much eye candy for the ladies, so if you look past UK soap star Michelle Keegans huge breasts there’s a little sumpin-sumpin to make everything better. Although I had to edit him out of the full size pics due to space constraints. :( (full size jump here)
SEAN PENN - is in drug rehab. Maybe. Last week Page Six ran a blind item asking, “Which actor is on hiatus due to a drug relapse?” Then this morning Variety said, “Sean Penn’s busy shooting schedule has suddenly gone dark. In an announcement that has caught two studios by surprise, Penn has pulled out of two films.” Let’s all hope he gets the help he needs so he can handle his tragic burden of luxury and success. (source = speilster)
BILLY JOEL - is getting divorced from his third wife, Katie Lee Joel. He is 60, she is 27, and they we’re married for just under 5 years. They had no children, which is the only thing keeping her from the Gold Digging World Championship. (source = people)
KATIE PRICE - took some more pictures today in Ibiza for her 2010 calendar. It will be called, “Katie Price’s 2010 Calender, starring Katie Price And A Bunch Of Random Fucking People Just Sort Of Milling Around Behind Her.” (13 more pics = here. hq jump = here. image source = wenn)
Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn got married in 1996, which might be news to all the girls Penn has slept with since then. Robin filed for divorce in 2007, then changed her mind. Sean filed for divorce in 2008, then changed his mind. She filed for divorce again two months ago. Okay now try to guess where this is headed. People.com says…
Sean Penn filed a request Thursday to dismiss his legal separation case, Marin County, Calif., court records show.
“This appears to imply that they’re reconciling again,” says L.A. divorce lawyer Lynn Soodik, who is not involved with the case. “It’s unlikely Sean Penn would request a dismissal for any other reason.”
A lawyer for Sean Penn didn’t immediately return a call for comment. Wright Penn has been at the Cannes Film Festival, where she’s a member of the jury, since last week.
I’m hopeful that these two can work things out. Or that they both die today. Either one really, just as long as I stop hearing about them.
For weeks it’s been rumored that Natalie Portman is doin it with Sean Penn, and if true the affair may have even been a factor in Penns wife filing for divorce, but Natalie would like to make it clear that this all propaganda and lies spread by enemies out to destroy her.
“Sean Penn is a friend and colleague. The reports that we are romantically involved are completely untrue. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated story has forced me to do so.”
Hmm, interesting. So she felt the need to address this rumor because it was false, and yet she says nothing about rumors she broke into my house with a gun and used me as her sexual plaything. You do the math.
