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Is Sean Penn Fucking Madonna Again And Shit Around The Web

October 15, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Back before the last ice age, ginormous asshole Sean Penn and donkey witch Madonna were married. Then they broke up because only one needy bitch at a time can occupy a marriage. But lately he’s been spotted at a couple... READ MORE

Sean Penn Tizzy Fit And Shit Around The Web

September 22, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Leathery purse face Sean Penn is threatening to sue Lee Daniels for reminding everyone that he used to beat up women. He was accused of hitting Madonna back in the 1880’s when they were married. I guess being a... READ MORE

Sean Penn New Pussy

July 1, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

After losing his last inexplicably hot younger famous girlfriend, Sean Penn has moved on to thirty-five year old dubiously employed model and actress Minka Kelly, yet he still doesn’t have a holiday. Kelly is a fixture on the Beverly Hills charity... READ MORE

Charlize Theron Ends Engagement to Sean Penn

June 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A month ago they were making out on a balcony and Sean Penn was planning on adopting Charlize Theron’s Hollywood black baby. He even voluntarily handed over his arsenal of personal firearms when Charlize explained to him she’s not... READ MORE

Charlize Theron Reliving History

April 9, 2015 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

Reporters feel obliged to ask actors about how they personally relate to the character in their current movie and actors feel obliged to make up some bullshit answer. Everybody has to pretend that making movies is not simply pretend.... READ MORE

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron Make It Official

February 9, 2015 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If Charlize Theron’s engagement can teach us anything, it’s that family isn’t bound by rigid construct. Sometimes it’s a roided out short guy, you, and the cute baby you bought at the Gaborone Duty Free because they were out of... READ MORE

Sean Penn and Pamela Anderson Loaded for Haiti

January 13, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nothing says, hang in there Haiti, we’ve got more bucks for building grade recycled cardboard like a couple veteran Hollywood inebriates showing up to help those wretched voodoo fuckers with a fundraising gala. Without an accurate BAC, it’d be tough to... READ MORE

Charlize Theron Makes A Great Passenger

February 12, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

As disappointing as it is to see someone as young and hot as Charlize Theron dating an arrogant old fart like Sean Penn, they might actually be pretty perfect for each other. Beyond all of the charity crap and... READ MORE

Charlize Theron’s Adopted Baby Plotting His Escape Back to Africa

February 5, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

One minute you’re enjoying life in an African orphanage and next thing you know, some white chick from the movies whisks you to an entirely new continent to have play dates with adopted Chinese babies and to meet her... READ MORE

Charlize Theron Helps Sean Penn Help Haiti

January 14, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hard to believe it’s already the third annual Sean Penn and Friends Help Haiti Gala. Let’s not be coy here, Sean Penn doesn’t have any friends. This is all Sean Penn. He’s lifting Haiti like mighty Atlas, aided only... READ MORE

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