Back before the last ice age, ginormous asshole Sean Penn and donkey witch Madonna were married. Then they broke up because only one needy bitch at a time can occupy a marriage. But lately he’s been spotted at a couple... READ MORE

Leathery purse face Sean Penn is threatening to sue Lee Daniels for reminding everyone that he used to beat up women. He was accused of hitting Madonna back in the 1880’s when they were married. I guess being a... READ MORE

After losing his last inexplicably hot younger famous girlfriend, Sean Penn has moved on to thirty-five year old dubiously employed model and actress Minka Kelly, yet he still doesn’t have a holiday. Kelly is a fixture on the Beverly Hills charity... READ MORE

A month ago they were making out on a balcony and Sean Penn was planning on adopting Charlize Theron’s Hollywood black baby. He even voluntarily handed over his arsenal of personal firearms when Charlize explained to him she’s not... READ MORE

Reporters feel obliged to ask actors about how they personally relate to the character in their current movie and actors feel obliged to make up some bullshit answer. Everybody has to pretend that making movies is not simply pretend.... READ MORE

If Charlize Theron’s engagement can teach us anything, it’s that family isn’t bound by rigid construct. Sometimes it’s a roided out short guy, you, and the cute baby you bought at the Gaborone Duty Free because they were out of... READ MORE

Nothing says, hang in there Haiti, we’ve got more bucks for building grade recycled cardboard like a couple veteran Hollywood inebriates showing up to help those wretched voodoo fuckers with a fundraising gala. Without an accurate BAC, it’d be tough to... READ MORE

As disappointing as it is to see someone as young and hot as Charlize Theron dating an arrogant old fart like Sean Penn, they might actually be pretty perfect for each other. Beyond all of the charity crap and... READ MORE

One minute you’re enjoying life in an African orphanage and next thing you know, some white chick from the movies whisks you to an entirely new continent to have play dates with adopted Chinese babies and to meet her... READ MORE

Hard to believe it’s already the third annual Sean Penn and Friends Help Haiti Gala. Let’s not be coy here, Sean Penn doesn’t have any friends. This is all Sean Penn. He’s lifting Haiti like mighty Atlas, aided only... READ MORE