Sean Penn is a lethal weapon. His fists of fury can’t just be let loose into a sea of paparazzi pestering him about nailing Charlize Theron with his Oscar winning dick. Somebody is going to get whacked in the... READ MORE

I don’t know what voodoo power resides in the Penn penis but it’s fucking disturbing. It’s some black sorcery that the NSA ought to investigate rather than listening to me talk dirty to a woman who I secretly worry... READ MORE

Guess what, bub. Life isn’t fair. 2013, the year before, the coming year, makes no difference. Sean Penn gets to bang Scarlett Johansson, now Charlize Theron. Next he’ll travel back to the 70’s and nail pre-ass cancer Farrah and... READ MORE

Sean Penn is juicing. But that’s not the impressive part. He’s still banging models. He even nailed Scarlett Johansson for a brief time after her divorce. If Westside doctors have invented a new super P.E.D. that doesn’t shrink your... READ MORE

Sean Penn is celebrated by his peers as one of Hollywood’s greatest actors, and in his own mind he’s probably the greatest person and humanitarian who has ever lived. In reality, he’s a pretty good actor who will probably... READ MORE

It’s awesome timing that, just about 24 hours before thousands of strangers all over America spontaneously wrapped themselves in the flag and gathered in the streets, Sean Penn was once again reminding everyone what a spoiled, self-important douche he... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson showed off her new red hair Saturday night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in Washington DC. After that she and her boyfriend Sean Penn went to a party at the home of the French Ambassador, who... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have only been dating for two months, in part because she only announced she was divorcing Ryan Reynolds four months ago, but today Us magazine says she’s already moved in to his house in... READ MORE

If one day you put on clothes that aren’t tailor made to hide all your flaws and suddenly people see that you’re kind of chubby, so much so that your publicist has to officially declare that there’s not a... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have been sneaking around together for a few weeks now, going on secret and no doubt boring dates. But Jim Toth is Scarletts agent, and since he got married to Reese Witherspoon this weekend,... READ MORE