Minka Kelly Has 2 Years Left

By Lex September 02, 2015 @ 10:18 AM

Minka Kelly At The A List Party In Beverly Hills
It’s not for me to say how long a woman has left to find a guy without credit problems, but I’m giving Minka Kelly and her breasts two years. You can clock it from July rumors that she was Sean Penn’s rebound hump after Charlize Theron’s drugs wore off and she snatched up her African baby and ran. Two years seems like a long time but that’s five more Olympics. Take that top down another button. You don’t want to end up with a guy like me. Tick tock.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Cruel Intentions Reunion

By Lex May 29, 2015 @ 1:16 PM

Cruel Intentions Reunion With Sarah Michelle Gellar Reese Witherspoon And Selma Blair
The cast of Cruel Intentions reunited after sixteen years to commemorate the last movie any of them made that anybody saw. Some joked how lucky Brandon Lee was to die on the set of his 90′s breakout film, but nobody laughed because it was simply too painful. It’s tough to peak at twenty. Far worse to never have peaked at all. The film itself was merely Dangerous Liaisons re-set in the world of rich New York prep school kids, with the role of Lena Dunham played by people you were hoping would get naked. The movie set in motion of series of bad marriages and relationships between cast members that would leave each with various babies and sores that would linger well past the lifespan of the film itself. Reunions are a tricky business. The best strategy remains to get hair plugs and bring along a hot escort. When anybody asks what you do, respond, what don’t I do. Then order your escort to blow you. Hack.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Getty

Selma Blair Won’t Stop Breastfeeding Her Kid

By Lex August 19, 2013 @ 4:29 PM

Selma Blair Breast Feeds Her Son On The Train In The Farmer's Market In Los Angeles
I have it on questionable authority that Selma Blair is now starving her pre-school aged kid just so he’ll latch on to her motherly teat the minute they get themselves out to a shopping center, farmers market, or other public venue where Selma can show the world what a truly devoted maternal wellspring she is. We get it, Selma. You will feed him on a plane, you will fed him on a train. You will feed him here and there, you will feed him anywhere that people are looking. You’re just one of those parents. Soon you’re going to have a bumper sticker on the back of your hybrid that reads, My Child Is An Honor Student at Garfield Middle School and He’s Still Suckling My Tits. You win. Be sure to pack him a good supply of your breast milk before he journeys out to find his father.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet

Selma Blair Breastfeeds Her Kid

By Lex April 23, 2013 @ 1:19 PM

There’s no more sacred and private bond between a mother and child than the natural and beautiful act of breastfeeding their offspring. I can’t think of a more noble tribute to the blessed spirit of mother to child nourishment than by staring at Selma Blair’s bare tit. It’s a fact. If you’re going to do this in public, we’re going to look. And, for a small number of us, be jealous of your boy. Who, for the record, is almost two. I don’t want a bunch of angry letters from breastfeeding zealots, but it is kind of rare to keep child on tit to that age in a First World nation. I mean, you are right outside a Starbucks.

Friday headlines

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 4:30 PM

Captain America: The First Avenger

CAPTAIN AMERICA – has released a new pic, this time showing Chris Evans in full uniform during WWII. Long after we stopped using shields. Why did people stop using shields? Those seem helpful. (ew)

RYAN REYNOLDS AND SANDRA BULLOCK – are still doing all the things people do when they’re dating yet they claim their not dating. Now he’s reportedly bonding with her adopted son. So he went from 26yo Scarlett Johansson to a woman literally 20 years older with a baby. Is he dying or something? (us)

SELMA BLAIR – is pregnant. Will this interfere will her making more movies I’ll never see? There’s honestly no way to know. (star)

ALICIA SILVERSTONE – is also pregnant. Oh and I bet her body will just snap right back. She seems like that type. She’d never let herself go. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. (people)


By brendon September 03, 2008 @ 11:23 AM

Selma Blair and her boyfriend Johnny Messner hit the beach in Malibu yesterday, and I'd like to be the first to congratulate her on her sassy jean shorts.  I thought only Mexican guys wore jeans to the beach.  You'd swear they didn’t even know they were going to the beach.  They wear jeans and plaid shirts and go swimming in that.  It looks like a cowboy fell in the ocean.  On a side note, nice monogrammed bag there weirdo.  Where’s your monogrammed sun tan lotion and popsicles?  Oh, wait no, is that genuine canvas?  Oh golly I apologize.  I didn’t realize.  You can’t be too careful when you have nice stuff.  

picture source = inf daily