Usher and Shakira will replace Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green for the fourth season of ‘the Voice’, though it’s said to be a temporary move so Aguilera can go on tour and Green can record a new album. But maybe it won’t be for one season. Maybe it will be permanent. Or maybe it won’t, look, why are you dragging me into this, I hate that stupid show.
(source = celebuzz)
News reports from Spain and Mexico say Shaikira was filmed having sex on a yacht with her boyfriend, soccer star Gerard Piqué, by someone who worked for her and is now using it to blackmail her. An agent in Barcelona who saw the tape says…
“The video lasts about 15 minutes….it’s filmed with a cell phone, which I guess, belonged to Shakira’s employee who was at the helm of the boat that night. The images are not steady and it’s out of focus.”
So it’s shaky, blurry, and probably dark. How do we even know it’s her? Even if he says her name it won’t prove anything. If you watched my sex tapes you’d think my girlfriend was having sex with Matt Bomer, because that’s the name she calls out, and I don’t correct her because that’s her problem, not mine.
(source = fox sports)
Shakira gave a concert in Monterrey, Mexico, last week, and new video shows that while walking through the crowd and touching hands with her fans, one of them pulled a ring right off her damn finger. E! says…
Shakira quickly noticed that her bauble had been deftly and dastardly removed, but as the perp had already disappeared into the crowd—and she was already midsong—after glancing first at her suddenly ringless hand and then back at her fans, she took the thieving quite literally in stride and didn’t miss a beat, continuing her walk back to the stage.
There’s no word on whether the thief was caught.
My first reaction to this is that I’m glad it was in Mexico. Is it racist that, any time I see a video about an old lady getting punched or animals getting fucked or something like that, my immediate thought is, “please don’t be white, please don’t be white, please don’t be white…” I can’t be the only one who does that.
Yesterday Shakira put on a bikini for a photo shoot in Ibiza, and this was the first I’d heard of her in a while so I ran a search to see what she’s been up to. It turns out she does incredibly deviant hardcore porn now, either because she’s awesome or because I spelled her name wrong and clicked on a link for “Sharka”.
I was gonna run a new search with her name spelled correctly, but by then my erection was getting pretty painful.
(image source = fame)
The Tuesday morning headlines are brought to you by this guy. Either one really.
MADONNA – is cheap. She made 110 million dollars last year, yet only gave $459,000 to charity. This may sound thoughtless, but keep in mind: Madonna is a mean old bitch. (hollywood reporter)
ROMAN POLANSKI – has been denied bail once again. A Swiss court ruled he was a high flight risk and ordered him to remain in jail while he awaits possible extradition to the United States. Considering he’s facing extradition precisely because he fled the country while on bail last time, it takes some balls to ask for bail again. That’s the entire reason we’re here. What did he think the judge was gonna say? “I know you took off last time, but, I’ve just got a lucky feeling. I say we go for it!” (e online)
SHAKIRA – has secretly been taking “Introduction to Western Civilization: Ancient Civilizations from Prehistory to Circa A.D. 843″ at UCLA all summer. She would wear baggy clothes with a hat pulled low and keep to herself, and no one ever knew. She took the class simply because she wanted to, and did well until it wrapped up last Thursday. “I was really impressed with how intelligent she was,” said Professor Robert Cleve, as he tried to change the subject so his erection would go away. (the ap)
I don’t know how they get Shakira to look hot in her videos, but I assume it involves tons of makeup and magic. Or they poison a cupcake and knock her out for three months so she cant eat. This chick is a mess. I’d have an easier time masturbating in a haunted house than I would with these pictures.
