Shanna Moakler has reached stage 5, Acceptance, of the Kubler-Ross model in the wake of her ex nearly being burned alive last week, as she reportedly made out with Hollywood hunk Gerard Butler inside of Shin in LA last night. And I say she made out with him, because he seems to be looking over her shoulder the whole time. Presumably to check out someone less crazy. Her last two ex’s have ended up in lingerie and a plane crash. If he hit that his penis must be some kind of daredevil.
(picture source = inf daily)
Is there anything Shanna Moakler can't do? Punching Paris Hilton, appearing topless in this YouTube clip, having tons more naked stuff on the always sextastic Daily Niner. Okay I guess in hindsight, she can only do two things, but she’s pretty kick ass at them, and it still makes her more of a hero than Gandhi. All that wussy did was starve himself. What a dick!
Several sources now claim that they witnessed Shanna Moakler punch Paris Hilton in the face early Wednesday morning at Hyde in LA. Moakler denies this, and told Extra last night, “I absolutely did not punch Paris Hilton”. Moakler says she is the victim and was assaulted by Stavros Niarchos. Shannas rep says:
"Shanna exchanged words with Paris. Stavros entered . . . and said he was going to 'hit' and 'beat' Shanna. Shanna replied, 'You're going to hit me? I'm a woman.' Stavros then shoved her downstairs, twisted her wrists behind her back and poured a drink on her," Moakler's rep Susan Madore charged.
Other sources say Moakler did punch Hilton. The Daily News writes:
"Shanna was screaming at Paris and then walked over to Paris' table and BAM - she hit Paris in the face. Paris, from what I saw, sort of defended herself," one witness said. Said another witness: "Shanna was screaming [obscenities]. I was like, 'Oh, shit, something is going to happen.' The next thing you know, Shanna hits Paris in the face. People scrambled and separated them." "I mean, it must have hurt."
I may literally start humping my monitor if this story gets any better. Shanna is a damn hero, Justice with big fake tits and fists of steel. God I think I’m in love.
I don’t want to imply that Paris Hilton is lying about getting punched by Shanna Moakler, but Paris Hilton is lying about getting punched by Shanna Moakler. X17 has pictures of her leaving Hyde and arriving at the police station to file her reports and she looks perfectly fine. They also have video of Paris' PR guy Elliot Mintz, who barely looks like a person. You half expect him to eat a mouse during this clip. I’m amazed he didn’t begin his statement with “When will you humans learn…“
(This is win-win. If she’s telling the truth, then she got punched in the face. If she’s lying, she just filed a false police report. Cops love when you do that.)
Breathless early morning reports are claiming that Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both filed police reports just a few hours ago stating that they were attacked. Paris claims Shanna punched her in the face(!), Shanna says Stavros Niarchos - Paris' ex boyfriend - poured a drink over her head and pushed her down a flight of stairs. Paris, or course, has recently been “dating” Shannas ex-husband Travis Barker. TMZ says:
Elliot Mintz, Paris' publicist, tells TMZ that his client was at Hyde nightclub Wednesday night and at approximately 1:10 a.m. she says she was approached by Shanna, who allegedly began screaming obscenities at her. Hilton says at that point Moakler struck her in the jaw with a closed fist as she continued to shout profanities. Mintz says Moakler was restrained and several people helped Paris exit Hyde. Mintz says Hilton never touched Moakler.
Moakler also went to the station to file a report against Paris' companion that evening, Stavros Niarchos, alleging that he poured a drink over her head. A source tells TMZ that Moakler alleges that Niarchos shoved her down some stairs. We're told police took photos of both women at the station, though it's unclear if either showed visible signs of injury.
So, is violence really the answer, does punching Paris Hilton in the face make someone a hero? Yes. Yes it really does. The greatest hero of all time, some would say.
More of those Shanna pictures from Stuff Magazine here.
