Sharni Vinson Is Packing On the Weight

By Lex January 24, 2014 @ 3:31 PM

Sharni Vinson Looking Skinny In A Bikini At The Beach In Sydney
Far be it from me to fat shame anybody, but Sharni Vinson looks like she put on a couple or three ounces since she needed a horse to keep her upright at the beach last week. It really shows when she gets wet. She needs to get that shit contained if she expects to keep playing fourth grade girls on Australian television. Put down the fork, Sharni. The food’s not going to run away.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Nothing More Beautiful Than an Anorexic and Her Steed

By Lex January 20, 2014 @ 2:04 PM

Sharni Vinson Looks Skinny In A Green Bikini With A Horse At The Beach In Sydney
Sharni Vinson is fighting back against accusations she just might not be eating enough. After the Australian actress dropped below her birth weight, newspapers and magazines started questioning her general health. Sharni flipped on the pump that inflates her chest cavity and retorted:

I’ve always been a very naturally slim girl. If I was the way I was perceived, I would not physically be able to do what I do. You couldn’t have a schedule like I do if you didn’t [eat]. You would actually faint.

Solid point. If you’re not fainting routinely, you’re probably too fat. Lean out the diet until you get lightheaded, that’ll be your ideal calorie consumption for the day. Follow Sharni’s daily program of an apple and three tablespoons of wallpaper paste.  You’ll get there.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News

Sharni Vinson Doesn’t Like the Sun But Her Nipples Do

By Lex December 13, 2013 @ 3:23 PM

Sharni Vinson Plays On The Beach In A Wet T Shirt And Bikini In Sydney
Sharni Vinson is Australian so she’s not supposed to be deathly afraid of the sun like her American counterparts. She’s borne of many generations of hardened criminals who laughed at sunburn as it toughened their skin and made them capable of even more substantial rape and pillage. But, no, floppy hats and oversized sunglasses and sun-shielding shirts to increase her chances of dying form something other than skin cancer. I was going to decide I didn’t like her until she started making out with some random woman on the beach. Game changer.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN