I can’t even begin to guess why Shia LaBeouf was walking around yesterday with a bag over his head, but I assume it has something to do with being a retard.  I'm not gonna lie to you, I've seen better ideas than to walk around LA hiding your identity and a bag over your hand.  As if to hide your finger prints. The paparazzi could have gotten a huge exclusive if they chased him into one of those Asian liquor stores.  "I no money, you kid get outa here!  I TELL YOU FOR LAST TIME!"  Bam bam bam.

(picture source = pacific coast)

I know if I'm gonna fit in with the cool kids, I'm supposed to say Shia's a fag and he sucks and all that, but I'm at a loss.  I don't hate him.  Everyone I know hates him but I don't.  He was even good in that piece of shit Indiana Jones movie (although horribly miscast).  Anyway, since his DUI arrest this weekend, Details has rushed an interview in their September issue onto their website.  He has a few ironic quotes.  About bonding with his dad…

"We would drink together and smoke together, and it's just a bad deal. It's not something that is conducive to being a role model—no iconic actors that I know of have problems like that. And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink."

This will definitely bite him in the ass, but the good news is he’s famous and he broke the law in LA.  If you're famous enough there you can do anything.  Steven Spielberg could release prostitutes into the woods and hunt them down and leave their bullet-riddled bodies there to rot, and at worst, he’d get a ticket for littering.

We're getting closer and closer to the day when a celebrity actually kills someone while driving high or drunk or both.  The people of L.A. need to know that their lives are expendable according to the cops, who have made it clear that celebrities are above the law.  The latest incident happened Saturday night at 3am, when Shia LaBeouf, 22, caused a two-car collision after he pulled in front of a car while making a left turn.  His Ford F-150 was struck and flipped onto its roof.  No one was seriously injured but Shia had extensive surgery on his left hand early Sunday morning and was booked on suspicion of felony DUI.  TMZ says:

A witness tells us he heard a loud crash around 245 AM, then the sound of Shia's truck rolling over. The witness said he heard what he thought was a girl screaming "F**k," among other things.  When he got down to scene, Shia was already out of the car and the female riding with him was crawling out of the drivers side of the truck. The truck was smoking, making noise and still running. The driver of the other car was also out of the car by this time.  Shia and the female stood over by a wall while people were checking to see if everyone was okay. The witness said unlike most of the wrecks he's seen in the dangerous intersection, no one was cursing or yelling at each other. It took the cops 4-5 minutes to arrive at the scene.  Two ambulances — along with one fire truck — showed up, and all parties involved walked to an ambulance unassisted. There were no breathalyzers or tests done at the scene.

Of course the charges against Shia have already been reduced from felony DUI to misdemeanor DUI.  Based on every other case of celebrities breaking the law in L.A. by the time this is done he’ll be ticketed for illegal parking.

"Indiana Jones" and "Transformers" star Shia LaBeouf is getting even famouser today as a video has been unearthed showing him calling a buddy a "faggot" and then begging to get slapped. It's not clear when or where this was filmed, but one thing is for sure: I'm fucking hot.