People Don't Like Shia LaBeouf So Much

If you're a chick who resembles Ted Cruz, you get ten grand to fuck your unemployed boyfriend on camera. If you're a dude who resembles Shia LaBeouf, you get a fist to the face in a subway station. Mario Licato was on his way to a fine arts show as people do in New York when a random punch came flying into his left eye socket. I was so confused. I was even more confused because I got up and was like, am I crazy, or...

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Shia LaBeouf Gets Pissed And Shit Around The Web

Human butt polyp Shia LaBeouf was spotted yelling and getting physical with his girlfriend Mia Goth in Germany. The argument seemed to revolve around her taking his backpack. He later said he would have, "killed her" if he had stayed around, which is both frightening and a clear over-estimation of his ability to fight women. Read all about how not scary this ass munch is. (The Superficial) Hey, wanna see Micaela...

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Shia LaBeouf Ruins America And Shit Around The Web

Shia LaBeouf once again shamed our nation by acting like a self-absorbed thicket of dick cheese at Mt. Rushmore. He ran around and screamed like a dildo about America in a sarcastic way. I hope the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt skull fucks him to death. Watch Shia do what he does. (TMZ) Ashley Greene was sporting an itty bitty bikini in Staten Island. (Egotastic) Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears have a Twitter bitch fight. (...

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Shia Gets Head Trauma And Shit Around The Web

Public embarrassment Shia LaBeouf had to be rushed to the hospital after getting a massive head wound on set.It's unclear what happened other than everybody who has ever met him was wishing for it. Read all about Shia's latest fuck up. (TMZ) Want to see Nicole Scherzinger's squirrel covers? (Egotastic) Lady Gaga goes out and about in just a bra because why the fuck not. (Huffington Post) Taraji P. Henson shows off her...

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Sia Issues Apology For Her Shia Dance Raping Girl Video

Sia apologized to people who thought her video featuring Shia LaBeouf and a twelve year old chick groping each other was laden with enough pedophiliac content to make the entire sex offender registry collectively cum. I'm not saying itdefinitely constitutes child porn, but if it doesn't make you uncomfortable as fuck you're most definitely a pedophile and probably deserve to be drowned with the other witches. Maddie...

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Shia Labeouf Makes A Little Girl Sniff His Fingers (VIDEO)

There's art. And then there's art where Shia LaBeouf is in a cage in nothing but a loin cloth making some girl sniff his fingers. That's the kind of art where people get arrested and even the most progressive minded free speechers say, yeah, that makes sense. In Sia's last video everybody watched because they love little girls acting like desperately drunken motel whores, Maddie Ziegler proved the power of dance. That...

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Shia LaBeouf Raped in a Forest, Nobody Heard

Shia LaBeouf version 2014 was particularly douchey. You may recall a performance art piece where he sat alone in a room in studio in Los Angeles wearing a paper bag over his head with the slogan 'I'm not famous anymore' while individuals berated him with various random objects on a table between them. This contrived performance reeked so heavily of morose Scandinavian foreplay, that one woman decided to just go for...

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Shia LaBeouf Is Crazy Talented

Shia LaBeouf claimed his drunken buffoonery was caused by his acting research and not the fact that he's incredibly prone to being a douchebag. It's hard to come to grips with being a Teen Beat boy slut. Some deal with this validated self loathing through drugs or suicide. LaBeouf has decided to prove his doubters wrong and become a Playgirl centerfold doing a bad Brando. Hemingway would blush but Cory Feldman is...

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Shia LaBeouf Keeps It Light (VIDEO)

Shia LaBeouf went on Jimmy Kimmel and discussed his twenty-four hour stint in solitary confinement for being a raging drunken asshole. "I get to the station and I quickly realize, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not made for this set up...So I'm like, 'You gotta do something. You gotta do something, man. You're gonna die in here.' So I turn into Tupac and now I'm ripping my shirt off and doing push-ups like, 'Don't...

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Shia LeBeouf Looks Less Drunk

The difference between the loons and the drunks is always revealed at court dates. The loons still look fucking crazy heading into court. The lushes clean up nice for the judge. Shia LaBeouf looked pretty damn dapper as he faced the court to explain why he was harassing the homeless and disrupting an off-Broadway run of Cabaret last month. I'm sure he said something like, I was super fucking drunk, now I'm getting...

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Shia LaBeouf In Rehab And Shit Around The Web

Shia LaBeouf might have checked himself into rehab only we aren't calling it rehab. We're calling it "care and treatment for alcohol addiction". He has a lot to ponder while in treatment for alcohol addiction, like all the people he has hurt with his drinking, the trust issues he's created, and how his annoying punk mug put the nail in the coffin of the Indiana Jones movie franchise. Read more about Shia's twelve...

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Shia LeBeouf Part Beouf: It Gets Worse

Shia LeBeouf was apparently trying to steal food from a homeless guyhours before he was arrested for being a drunk and disorderly assholeat Studio 54. In the coming weeks LeBeouf will announce he's going to rehab, but some behavior is just unforgivable. I don't care if LeBeouf was on four hits of Avicii's ecstasy and thought the McDonald's bag was his soul and the fries were the demons he was charged with exorcising....

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Shia LaBeouf Arrested! Exclamation Point!

It's hard to imagine Shia LaBeouf in tears without a woman or prepubescent boy child striking him first. But it's true. On the night that he had to witness the acting mannequin Mark Wahlberg replace him in the latest Transformers installment, LaBeouf visited a legit performance of Cabaret at Studio 54 where he smoked, made disruptive comments, and refused to leave when asked. When the N.Y.P.D. arrived on scene...

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Shia LaBeaouf Balls Like a Player

Summer in L.A is a total fucking crap shoot. Down one boulevard you might find Sofia Vergara's tits hanging out of her top. Take an unfortunate right and you've got Shia LaBeouf's scrote dangling like a freshly shorn poodle. Not every man enjoys the confidence to jump rope commando at a West Hollywood gym, but not every man is Shia LaBeouf. Hate the plagiarizing walking puncture wound all you like, but just be...

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Shia LaBeouf Is A One Man Oscar Party

There were no Oscar parties for Shia LaBeouf this weekend, as the most annoying asshole in show business continued his surprisingly normal trend of dressing like a lower class loser and buying stuff from random convenience stores. There's a chance he might have been on his way to some kind of industry event, though, because he didn't look like a homeless man who just took a shit on the floor in the frozen foods...

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