Justin Bieber is pretty prodigious at pussy scuffles, but he’s still not even to the legend, Shia LaBeouf. Shia is like Bieber without the bodyguards. He gets wasted and picks fights with dudes who invariably wallop him with a few good licks before somebody convinces Shia to run away. It happened again over the weekend in London. Pretty standard story. Shia saw two girls puking in the gutter outside of a nightclub and decided he wanted to video document it for the virtual emotional journal his psychiatrist helped him invent. The birds got to screaming at Shia to turn off the camera. Some British type guy nearby took exception with Shia’s bad form and told him to take a hike. So, Shia started filming him too. The two tussled, and the bloke punched Shia in the face. Shia responded bravely by running away. Later the girls who were puking said they wished they had known the pussy punk with the cell camera was Shia LaBeouf because they love him and would’ve been happy to have him film their retching. This all happened. It really did. The puking girls. The actor pussy. And the Sir Walter Raleigh.
Photo credit: TMZ (but that was a couple getting-punched-in-the-faces ago)
Just knowing how much damage he’s done in the past with his facial pouts and his lukewarm Starbucks and throwing his nose at bar-goers fists, I fear for a world in which Shia LaBeouf’s hands are registered lethal weapons. I don’t know where exactly he’d register them. Googling Big Pussy Academy locations as we speak.
In what sounds like it would have been a much much better idea about 10 years ago, Uma Thurman has joined the cast of Lars von Trier’s ‘Nymphomaniac’, currently shooting in and around Cologne, Germany, and described as an “epic pornographic drama”. As in, the actors actually have real sex. With each other. And it’s filmed.
Nymphomaniac stars Charlotte Gainsbourg as Jo, a self- diagnosed nymphomaniac. One night, an old bachelor, played by Stellan Skarsgard, finds her in an alley, badly beaten. He takes her home to nurse her back to health, while she recounts to him her life of erotic adventure.
Shia LaBeouf, Jamie Bell, Stacy Martin, Connie Nielsen and Christian Slater are also among the cast.
Von Trier is one of the very best directors in the world, but I’m out on this already. For one, I would fight you to the grave if you ever tried to show me Shia LaBeoufs penis. Secondly, if I wanted to see a girl regret her degrading sex life I could do that at home, for free.
(image source of uma in new york nine days ago = inf)
Shia LaBeouf was was at the Cinema Public House in Vancouver last night, and then later he was outside the Cinema Pubic House in Vancouver lying on the sidewalk while a shirtless fat guy punched him in the head. And really that’s all that’s known at this point. As of now it’s not clear who started the fight or why, but both men appear to be drunk as hell. Which is maybe why it was such a crappy fight. When someone on crutches is the fastest one and can break things up, your fight skills leave a lot to be desired.
Shia LaBeouf has an interview in the new issue of Details, and it’s a revelation for no other reason than I had no idea that Details magazine still exists. But it does apparently, and they asked Shia if he and Megan Fox ever did it while filming the first two ‘Transformers’ movies.
Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”
This might seem somewhat plausible because Megan married Brian Austin Green, so it’s not like she’s all that selective, but I don’t believe him because she’s been famous for a long time and you almost never hear any stories about her sleeping around. And also the idea of fucking Megan Fox is so wonderful I can’t believe that anyone gets to do it, much less this doofus. It’s like hearing someone claim they can fly.
(image source of Shia his girlfriend Karolyn Pho last week = fame)
Shia LaBeouf was handcuffed and released in the wee hours of Saturday morning after an alleged bar fight.
An eyewitness to the altercation at Mad Bull’s Tavern in Sherman Oaks, Calif., tells Us the actor, 24, was taunted by a fellow patron inside the bar before being “sucker punched in the mouth” when their conversation was taken outside.
No charges were filed as a result of the dust-up, which dispersed when local LAPD officers who happened to be driving by the area saw the crowd.
Put in handcuffs while officers assessed the situation, LaBeouf was questioned and released shortly after 1 a.m.
This is seriously the most homoerotic fight I’ve ever heard of. Because a guy named Shia had something slapped against his mouth and then was in handcuffs shortly after leaving a bar named the Mad Bull with a couple of new gentleman he’d just met. I think it’s that bar name and logo that does it. If it was the Male Slot or something like this, this would be straight up gay porn.