Sia apologized to people who thought her video featuring Shia LaBeouf and a twelve year old chick groping each other was laden with enough pedophiliac content to make the entire sex offender registry collectively cum. I’m not saying it definitely constitutes child porn, but if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable as fuck you’re most definitely a pedophile and probably deserve to be drowned with the other witches. Maddie Ziegler’s mom approved of the video, which is so icky it even weirded out some other Dance Moms who are all horrible fucking parents:
“I nearly threw up… I am flabbergasted Melissa would go to the levels she is going to get her daughter famous.”
Granted, these dance moms are filled almost entirely with jealousy and marbled fudge. Don’t think any one of them wouldn’t order their little girls to grind Shia LaBeouf in the champagne room if it meant a background part on a Nick Jr. sitcom. Sia remained mute which is normally a good thing but finally issued an apology via Twitter:
“I anticipated some ‘pedophelia!!!’ Cries for this video. All I can say is Maddie and Shia are two of the only actors I felt could play… These two warring ‘sia’ self states…I apologize to those who feel triggered by #ElasticHeart My intention was to create some emotional content, not to upset anybody.”
‘Triggered’ sounds like one of those words where you’re apologizing but mostly blaming the other person. I’m sorry I ‘triggered’ your anger after I kicked you in the nuts, asshole. If you’re anticipating the vast majority of viewers to feel your material is pedophilia, maybe go back to the drawing board. Of course there’s always the possibility you knew you were pushing the pedo envelope in a ploy to garner attention for your shitty song since that worked last time.
Fucking with your audience is fine when you’re teasing me with a nipple. Not so much with a felony. My odds LaBeouf ends up in prison at some point are pretty high. I don’t think he’s into little girls, I just think he’s an asshole who will someday shoot the UPS delivery guy for being a sellout. Somebody needs to sit both of these ‘sia’ self states down and slap them with pictures of starving people collecting dung for dinner in Mumbai. This video is entirely the byproduct of adults telling children they’re special. Unless they’re starting fires with their minds, that shit needs to stop now.