By Lex January 29, 2014 @ 5:09 PM
Jude Law almost lost the remainder of his hair in court when he learned that he was not the victim of tabloid phone hacks ten years ago so much as the fact that a member of his family had been selling his personal information to the press. During the News of the World trial where a bunch of pale British dudes were busted for hacking into celebrity phones, Jude was called to testify about how the tabloids suddenly knew all about his then girlfriend Sienna Miller shagging the shit out of Daniel Craig. Jude insisted that it must’ve been the work of the insidious phone hackers, as the tabloids seemed to know every single detail of his personal life. That’s when the defense unsealed some evidence and let Jude know that it was in fact some member of his close family who had sold all his private information to the gossip columnists. If Jude had a crest, it would’ve fallen.
Jude’s Fredo was never named in court, but I’m guessing he or she was taken off of his Boxing Day party list going forward. Just another reminder that almost every single bit of celebrity scoops comes from somebody selling out their patron. Celebrities who piss and moan about not being able to trust anybody around them are pretty accurate. Your maid is going through your shit looking for drugs, your gardener is snapping your photo in the shower, your sister-in-law is selling your VD blister story, your dad is the inside secret source on your love child, the cops are selling your private documents, and your high school best friend is selling photos of you with dorky glasses. Nobody respects your art. The alternative is moving out of the mansion, getting a real job, and getting laid a lot less. Take your pick, Jude. Most guys with receding hair lines in their 20′s don’t fare wonderfully in real life.
Here’s Sienna Miller in the new Esquire just to show you a piece of the upside of being a celebrity.
Photo Credit: Esquire UK
THE HANGOVER 3 – is already in development, and Zach Galafianakis says the story will center around his character getting sprung from a mental institution. In other words, expect to see his ass in a hospital gown. (rolling stone)
SALT 2 – could be on the way now that Angelina Jolie has agreed to do it and Sony has hired Kurt Wimmer to write a script. Might I suggest showing her ass in a hospital gown. (mtv)
SIENNA MILLER – got an apology from London tabloid News of the World after they published information they learned after hacking her cell phone. Pardon me, a “sincere” apology. So that seems fair. Look Sienna, we could go back and forth all day about who’s to blame and never get to the bottom of it, but they obviously feel terrible so let’s just call it even. (the ap)
NAOMIE HARRIS – who might best be known for playing voo doo witch/Calypso in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ 2 and 3, is in talks to be the female lead in the next James Bond movie. Will she get it? Oh, I’m on pins and needles! (ew)
RAMONA NITU – was on ‘Jersey Shore’ last season, and yesterday she was on South Beach, and… ok, I’m not gonna lie to you; posting these pictures seemed like a much better idea when they were just thumbnails. (bauer griffin)
By brendon February 08, 2011 @ 6:34 PM
OLIVIA WILDE – is single, having separated from Tao Ruspoli after 8 years of marriage (wait, what?) because she thinks she got married too young (at 18) and now she wants to “sow her wild oats.” In other words, “fuck”. And if you think that’s surprising, how do you think I felt when that unconscious model in my hot tub turned out to be 16. I was all like, “whaaat!!” (us)
SIENNA MILLER AND JUDE LAW – are single too, having broken up after dating from 2003 to 2006 and then from 2009 until now. Oh so they weren’t compatible? I’m surprised because normally people change overnight. (ppl)
STING – has had a wife since 1992. And that’s not her. That’s some other girl on a yacht off the coast of Australia. It’s kind of sweet when two people make a connection like this. Really warms my heart. (inf daily)
By brendon August 06, 2010 @ 1:30 PM
Sienna Miller and Jude Law are still on a god damn yacht off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, where she spent the day in a bikini stabbing at him with her vagina and telling stories about my dong. And look at him. Just sittin there, takin it. It’s sad, really.
(image source = splash news)
By brendon August 05, 2010 @ 2:24 PM
This week has been boring as hell so far, and that’s best illustrated by the fact that Sienna Miller bikini pictures are actually exciting. They’re not even that great, but just the fact that they exist is a reminder that girls wear bikinis, and at least that’s nice.
Of course that’s where the good news ends because she’s still in Ibiza with Jude Law, and here they are taking a break from their yacht to go have lunch on the beach, and after that I’m sure they went to other sexy places I never heard of and did fabulous things I never knew existed, and I’d rather not even think about. Moving right along.
MEL GIBSON – claims his girlfriend tried to extort money from him in return for the tapes she made, and now she’s being investigated. The tapes likely won’t be admissible in any legal action against Mel, but the press he’s received has already ruined him professionally. “Well what did you expect from the Jew run media,” Gibson probably said. (la times)
LINDSAY LOHAN – cried a little when her lawyer came to visit yesterday. “She’s trying to make the necessary adjustments to an extremely stressful and difficult situation. There were some tears.” Girls often describe sex with me that same way. Because my dong is so huge, you see. (people)
OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – can prove that Mel Gibson hit their daughter because she has a picture showing the baby looking perfectly normal, except for an “abrasion” on her chin that you can only see because the camera is practically mushed against the babies face. Oksana says, “Mel punched her and hit their child.” With, I don’t even know, a straw, I guess. (radar)
JUDE LAW AND SIENNA MILLER – are still on vacation with three of Jude’s kids in Otranto, Apulia, Italy, and at least this time he has a beer in his hands. Last time he looked so girly he might as well have been kissing his Justin Bieber poster. (inf daily)