By Lex July 03, 2015 @ 10:26 AM
The European celebrities are in the South of Spain this summer. Greece used to be the chic hot spot in July until the commies decided the retirement age should be thirty-two and bankrupted their cute little village nation. Spain remains the Mexico of Europe. Street merchants will haggle down from fifty bucks to eleven cents on a cute shell necklace if you commit the time. Also, a boy with a struggling mustache will hound you to have sex with his very most beautiful sister. Sienna Miller is there. Everybody says she looks good for a mom. Why the half compliment? Nobody says a woman looks good for being barren and infertile. Although that is what many men are looking for.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex May 18, 2015 @ 11:28 AM
Sienna Miller was in a Clint Eastwood movie last year but that didn’t disqualify her from being named a panelist on the jury of the Cannes Film Festival. In that role, she will have to pretend to watch twenty-seven tiresome films, at least half of which will involve an Iranian girl losing her only pair of shoes to Western imperialism. Sean Penn will scream and Kate Winslet will cry but that girl will not get back her fucking shoes. Smartly, Sienna is hanging out at that famous Eden Roc hotel near Cannes trying to use the pool before Victoria Silvstedt arrives and fouls the water with old man creampie. Sienna’s family wisely moved her to England as a young child when they realized a New York seven was a London ten. She’s done well for herself. There, I said something nice. Pass the baguettes.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex January 29, 2014 @ 5:09 PM
Jude Law almost lost the remainder of his hair in court when he learned that he was not the victim of tabloid phone hacks ten years ago so much as the fact that a member of his family had been selling his personal information to the press. During the News of the World trial where a bunch of pale British dudes were busted for hacking into celebrity phones, Jude was called to testify about how the tabloids suddenly knew all about his then girlfriend Sienna Miller shagging the shit out of Daniel Craig. Jude insisted that it must’ve been the work of the insidious phone hackers, as the tabloids seemed to know every single detail of his personal life. That’s when the defense unsealed some evidence and let Jude know that it was in fact some member of his close family who had sold all his private information to the gossip columnists. If Jude had a crest, it would’ve fallen.
Jude’s Fredo was never named in court, but I’m guessing he or she was taken off of his Boxing Day party list going forward. Just another reminder that almost every single bit of celebrity scoops comes from somebody selling out their patron. Celebrities who piss and moan about not being able to trust anybody around them are pretty accurate. Your maid is going through your shit looking for drugs, your gardener is snapping your photo in the shower, your sister-in-law is selling your VD blister story, your dad is the inside secret source on your love child, the cops are selling your private documents, and your high school best friend is selling photos of you with dorky glasses. Nobody respects your art. The alternative is moving out of the mansion, getting a real job, and getting laid a lot less. Take your pick, Jude. Most guys with receding hair lines in their 20′s don’t fare wonderfully in real life.
Here’s Sienna Miller in the new Esquire just to show you a piece of the upside of being a celebrity.
Photo Credit: Esquire UK
By Lex June 06, 2013 @ 12:41 PM
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, WENN
THE HANGOVER 3 – is already in development, and Zach Galafianakis says the story will center around his character getting sprung from a mental institution. In other words, expect to see his ass in a hospital gown. (rolling stone)
SALT 2 – could be on the way now that Angelina Jolie has agreed to do it and Sony has hired Kurt Wimmer to write a script. Might I suggest showing her ass in a hospital gown. (mtv)
SIENNA MILLER – got an apology from London tabloid News of the World after they published information they learned after hacking her cell phone. Pardon me, a “sincere” apology. So that seems fair. Look Sienna, we could go back and forth all day about who’s to blame and never get to the bottom of it, but they obviously feel terrible so let’s just call it even. (the ap)
NAOMIE HARRIS – who might best be known for playing voo doo witch/Calypso in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ 2 and 3, is in talks to be the female lead in the next James Bond movie. Will she get it? Oh, I’m on pins and needles! (ew)
RAMONA NITU – was on ‘Jersey Shore’ last season, and yesterday she was on South Beach, and… ok, I’m not gonna lie to you; posting these pictures seemed like a much better idea when they were just thumbnails. (bauer griffin)
By brendon February 08, 2011 @ 6:34 PM
OLIVIA WILDE – is single, having separated from Tao Ruspoli after 8 years of marriage (wait, what?) because she thinks she got married too young (at 18) and now she wants to “sow her wild oats.” In other words, “fuck”. And if you think that’s surprising, how do you think I felt when that unconscious model in my hot tub turned out to be 16. I was all like, “whaaat!!” (us)
SIENNA MILLER AND JUDE LAW – are single too, having broken up after dating from 2003 to 2006 and then from 2009 until now. Oh so they weren’t compatible? I’m surprised because normally people change overnight. (ppl)
STING – has had a wife since 1992. And that’s not her. That’s some other girl on a yacht off the coast of Australia. It’s kind of sweet when two people make a connection like this. Really warms my heart. (inf daily)