And here we are…

By brendon February 06, 2013 @ 11:46 AM


So. Hey. It’s me. Brendon. How are you today?

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its Imogen Thomas in a bikini, plus Site News!

By brendon September 02, 2011 @ 12:01 PM


UK model Imogen Thomas is in Marbella, Spain, today to finish up her 2012 calendar by taking pictures of her in and then not in a bikini. It’s a good thing only girls have boobs. If the sun had tits this fantastic I’d be blind after spending ages 12 through Now staring directly into it.

Speaking of glorious human achievements; this website! I know things have been a little stagnant and slow lately, but it’s not because I’m lazy. It’s not entirely because I’m lazy. Okay it’s because I’m lazy. Oh what, like you’re so great? GET OFF MY BACK! But it’s also because I’ve been trying to reinvent the page, to add way more content, make it easier to navigate and look at celebrity boobs, but with all the same mean spirited whining you’ve come to expect.

As part of that process I spent all day yesterday in the LA offices of the giant faceless entity that owns the site, and after apologizing to everyone I’ve ever worked with for being an intractable dickhead prone to temper tantrums when I don’t get my way, everything was basically set up and laid out to make the site a billion times better. So please bear with me. Or “bare” with me, whichever one it is. I’m sure someone will go on my twitter and correct me. Which I’ll ignore. Go hump your dictionary if you love it so much, jackass.

(image source = splash and pacific coast)

offline site news update

By brendon April 28, 2010 @ 12:22 AM


Okay so for a few months now comcast has been remembering that they’re essentially retarded once or twice a week and their internet crashes. Which is problematic if you write a website. So I might have screamed a bunch of scathing profanity at them over the phone Friday. What this means is that my internet access is still a little dicey, and will be until I get some stuff figured out. With any luck it won’t effect the page at all, but you never know.

The only good thing about all this is that when I was at starbucks, about 6 inches to the right of this picture, there was this sexxxy model named Stephanie. And now she and I are lovers, because that’s the kind of game I got. But don’t say anything because our relationship is still a secret. In fact she doesn’t even know about it.

leave kim and i alone

By brendon April 09, 2010 @ 3:52 PM


Fine, okay. Yes. Kim Kardashian and I are spending some time together, okay. I didn’t want it to come out this way but yeah. Kim is a really special lady. So yesterday I got my blue and yellow swim trunks and we tried to spend some time alone on the beach in Miami. Are we “dating”? Look, I don’t know what to call it, okay. To be honest I think maybe she’s just looking for a good time right now, you know what I mean buddy.

(source = splash news online) news/updates

By brendon October 23, 2009 @ 10:43 AM

I’m gonna move all this under the cut because I already feel stupid talking about myself, I’m not gonna waste space on the front page for it. So hit the “read more” to read about the ad problems and the new layout and facebook and all that. Or don’t. Whatever.

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By brendon August 25, 2007 @ 8:42 AM

That's right folks, the weekend shift is back.  I'm Lance Martini from FilmDrunk, and I'll be handling the scorn and ridicule for the next couple days.  I may not be as clever, but I try harder, for the same reason fat girls give better head – we're hungry.  

Anyway, if I'm not as funny as you'd like me to be, I recommend getting more stoneder.  -LM