Sofia Vergara doesnt hold a grudge

By brendon January 02, 2013 @ 7:29 PM

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Sofia Vergara and her boyfriend Nick Loeb seemed to be in a good mood as they walked around Miami yesterday, which is surprising because it was just a few hours after he (allegedly) got thrown out of a New Years Eve party for yelling at her and tearing her dress.

“Nick appeared to get really angry after Sofia took a picture with a stranger, and started screaming at her. Nick had to be pulled off Sofia by security. Her dress got torn in the melee. This happened right in front of everyone in the VIP section.”
“Four security guards grabbed Nick and threw him out of the back door of the club, with Sofia following behind.”

Oh terrific. So he was roughing her up in the middle of a crowded room, then they were both out back with no witnesses. Well thanks fellas this is much better. The girls of Miami must feel really safe with such conscientiousness security guards.

(image source = inf)

Sofia Vergara + lingerie = awesome

By brendon December 07, 2012 @ 3:07 PM

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I still feel like Sofia Vergara is incredibly underrated as an actress because not only is she really good on ‘Modern Family’, but she’s really funny too, and that’s exactly the kind of thing I would say to her in person while pretending not to stare at her tits.

(image source of vergara filming ‘fading gigolo’ in new york today = splash)

Sophia Vergara wisely rejected a breast reduction

By brendon September 28, 2012 @ 3:52 PM

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Sofia Vergara was on Katie Courics daytime talk show this week, because apparently that’s a thing that exists now, and said she’s glad she rejected the advice from her clearly gay or jealous publicist who pressured her to get a breast reduction when she started out in Hollywood. The concern was that her natural 32F breasts were too big, a sentence that is just complete gibberish and makes no sense.

“At the beginning it was hard, and she (my publicist) used to tell me, ‘Maybe you should get to a more normal, standard size.’”
“(My mom said), ‘God is going to punish you, you can’t chop your boobs out. It’s crazy. All the women are risking their life to get boobs.’ So I didn’t do it.”

Umm… uh, yes. That’s right ladies. God hates breast reductions, he was very clear about that. He said, “Thouth with big tittys are the most blessed and wonderful, so why would you want them smaller. What are you, a dyke?”

Sofia Vergara is ready to go. Or just forgot to button her pants.

By brendon May 17, 2012 @ 4:03 PM

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Sofia Vergara walked around New York last night with her pants unbuttoned, and she hasn’t come right out and said anything but the obvious explanation is that she was masturbating and wants to have sex with me. Message received, mon amour.

(image source = inf)

Sofia Vergara is photogenic

By brendon April 30, 2012 @ 6:18 PM

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Sofia Vergara is on the cover of the May issue of GQ in Mexico (other articles: “Summertime Sombreros”, “A Car Without An Our Lady of Guadalupe Decal”, “Deodorant?”) and even though the photo shoot is actually just a Vanity Fair shoot from last year, they did replace this see-thru picture with a much much better one. Which I then sat here and clumsily x-rayed because I’m such a big winner.

Sofia Vergara may or may not be under 21

By brendon April 25, 2012 @ 3:54 PM

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Sofia Vergara is no Beyonce, who I feel perpetuates an unreasonable standard of beauty, but she does what she can with what she has and actually looks pretty good considering she’s 39. In fact she apparently looks so good that she got carded at a bar in New York, and then turned away because she didn’t have ID.

The New York Post says:

…she was refused entry to the Ava Lounge at the Dream Midtown hotel because she (couldn’t) prove she was over 21. She was stopped on her way into a party for Broadway show “Ghost the Musical” by a doorman who asked for ID. Vergara had none on her, and despite her powerful charms and pleas from her friends, who said, “You know who she is, right?” the doorman would not budge.

In honor of this story I dug up almost 70 pictures of Sofia and her huge tits back when she was still a model and really was about 21. Because pictures of girls with huge tits are pretty much my answer to everything.