Sofia Vergara at the SAG Awards

By brendon January 31, 2011 @ 12:17 PM

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The Screen Actors Guild Awards were last night of course, and from the film side it was telling that the Kings Speech, Colin Firth, Christian Bale and Natalie Portman all won (full winners list here), because most assume they’re a lock for Academy Awards as well.

From the TV side, the big winner was everyone out of Sofia Vergaras line of sight so they didn’t have to pretend as if they weren’t staring at her huge jugs.

Though, as a counterpoint, this really hot and really skinny girl I know said, “whatever. Who needs curves when you’ve got a tight pussy.” It was such intense sexual torture she might as well have just started wacking me in the nuts with a driver.

Sofia Vergara looks happy. With good reason.

By brendon January 28, 2011 @ 5:11 PM

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Sofia Vergara was at the Elle Women In Television event in West Hollywood last night, and OH MY GOD look at those tits. This is one of those girls who sets an unfair standard. I was talkin to a guy at the bus stop about this today, because I think it’s maybe why I can’t get an erection when I’m with a woman, but he just kept reading his magazine. Even though I don’t think there was anything in there about erections, so I’m not sure how it was gonna help.

(image source = getty)

the Emmys, as always, were a baffling mess

By brendon August 30, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

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The Hollywood Reporter says the ratings for last nights Emmy Awards were just slightly higher than last year (a 10.0 in 2009, a 10.1 for 2010) which proves that people will watch anything because that show never makes any god damn sense. First of all, everyone always looks like hell. January Jones looked like a fishing lure, and Anna Paquin dressed up like Judge Dredd.

Then on top of that, the winners usually suck, highlighted last night by Jim Parsons winning Best Actor in a Comedy. What they’re saying is that the funniest person on TV this year was a guy on ‘the Big Bang Theory’, and that he was better in a comedy than Larry David or Alec Baldwin, or Adam Scott in ‘Party Down’ or Joel McHale in ‘Community’.

How does someone that simple minded even figure out how to vote? How many ballots were sent before they stopped eating them? It would be like an award for a suspense movie, and ‘the Usual Suspects’ losing to a home movie of someone playing ‘Got Your Nose’ with a toddler. “Where did it go?’, Emmy voters would cry out in disbelief!

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thursday morning headlines

By brendon August 12, 2010 @ 10:09 AM

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JULRI WATERS – is beautiful, short, Asian, has huge breasts, and parades around naked for Playboy. In other words she’s historys most perfect girl (NSFW pictures here). Easily manipulated, she asked me to mention that she and Julia Morse (direct link to their NSFW Playboy pics here and here) are in Sturgis for the bike rally, and at the Silverado casino today and tomorrow from 1-4 signing stuff. I’m gonna go at 4 when she’s tired and see if she’ll blindly sign a marriage license. (silverado, playboy)

JIMMY KIMMEL - was on his Twitter last night asking about his computer generated “Who To Follow” suggestions. Twitter is kind of a smartass, as it turns out. (twitpic)

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – is having her home searched for listening devices so no one can secretly record her conversations. “She’s worried either Mel or the media has planted cameras or wiretapping devices.” The balls on this chick. The judge should throw out the case just for this. Then have the bailiff go punch her in the stomach. (tmz)

TWITTER – Follow me today and you’ll receive 10 free internets. (twitter)

SOFIA VERGARA – says Madonna looks like a freak. While not opposed to plastic surgery, she says some women go to far. “That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they’re fooling? It doesn’t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.” Keep in mind Madonnas arms look like this. She looks like an old tree. (us)

sofia vergara in a bikini, part 3

By brendon July 20, 2010 @ 1:51 PM

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Sofia Vergara and her boyfriend are still in (on?) Porto Cervo, Sardinia, and obviously she doesn’t look as good as she did when she was modeling (ahem) or even as good as she did last week, but that banner picture wouldn’t be a flattering pose for anyone. Not that it even matters because when a girl is really pretty and has really big tits, she can be 10 pounds over weight and no one cares. If a girl looks like this she could have a dick and I wouldn’t care.

(source = inf daily)

tuesday morning headlines

By brendon July 13, 2010 @ 10:29 AM

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MEL GIBSON - stars in the movie ‘The Beaver’, directed by Jodie Foster, which was supposed to be released in September. Now Foster and the studio don’t know what to do with it. I asked Gibson what he told Foster as far as an apology, and this (NSFW language) is what he told her, but that’s pretty much his answer to everything. (e online)

TRANSFORMERS 3 - is currently filming in Chicago, and new set pics reveal that there are now NASCAR Transformers too. Not for marketing purposes, just because it makes a lot of sense to hide as the most conspicuous cars on earth. (jalopnik)

PREDATORS - is getting tremendous reviews and positive word of mouth, but some fans are annoyed because this iconic shot from the trailer is not actually in the movie. In the movie, Adrien Brody is only hit by one Predator laser. Why would fans complain about this? Because their lives are fantastic. (io9)

OPIE - of the Opie and Anthony show broke the story that New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner died today, according to his exclusive MLB sources. They were the first news outlet to report this, breaking the story on air around 8:30am, while CNN picked up the story almost 90 minutes later. After that they laughed at a dancing retarded girl, though CNN has yet to confirm that story. (twitter)

SOFIA VERGARA – had too many awesome bikini pictures yesterday to put in one post, so here are some more. Also continued from yesterday: my erection that’s hard enough to chop firewood. (splash news online)