By Lex March 02, 2015 @ 10:37 AM
Just like her dad made it okay to be an indignant asshole, Sophie Simmons is hoping her plus sized modeling will let women feel okay about being a buck sixty and strapping into kinky lingerie. I’m just glad she found a purpose larger than herself. Sophie recently lost ten pounds and her chronic vagina rash by giving up tuna and pecans. If tuna and pecans are not a substantial part of your diet because you don’t live in a terrarium beneath Trader Joe’s, you could try doughnuts and baked ziti and hope for similar results.
Photo Credit: Galore Magazine
By Lex August 01, 2014 @ 10:47 AM
Good news. Gene Simmons daughter will not be arrested for taking the U.S. flag underwater for an important wet t-shirt photo shoot . U.S. Code has advisory rules about doing such messed-up shit, but there’s no criminal repercussions behind the code since the courts agreed shitting on the flag is an expression of free speech. Also, many legal experts believe that when sea anemone sized nipples and self-promotion are involved, the Constitution provides even more protection because our Founders probably loved tits as much as we do.
Photo Credit: Aleks Kocev
By Lex September 20, 2013 @ 2:52 PM
Sophie Simmons is growing up big. Fast, I meant to say fast, fuck. Now Gene Simmons is going to Krav Maga the shit out of my neck. As long as I’m going down, I might as well point out that his daughter has a sweet mons. Fuck. Hammerfist.
Photo Credit: Splash