Sophie Turner Arrested For Domestic Violence

By Lex April 07, 2014 @ 2:33 PM

Sophie Turner In Lingerie

Apparently, it’s illegal to beat up your husband because he’s pissed you took off your wedding ring and spent the night in Jeremy Piven’s hotel room. Sophie Turner isn’t the first hot model to pretend she’s single. Women might love to hear other women talk about how romantic their husband is, but men mostly want to imagine these girls live by themselves in a condo filled with crotchless panties and sex toys and that they’re super lonely for some inexplicable reason easy enough to gloss over in the frenzy of masturbation. Sophie Turner’s secret husband got all all bitchy about Sophie rubbing Jeremy’s toupee across her intimate parts and she did what any wife would when confronted with a Piven affair, she gave her husband a good beat down. I’m not sure I’d call the cops if my wife beat me up while still stinking of Piven sauce, but hers did. Now she’s got a restraining order against her until this shit gets sorted out. And, by sorted out, I mean somebody reminds the husband you don’t want a permanent public record of your wife kicking your ass. It’s embarrassing. There are all kinds of double standards women have to deal with, this is one for the menfolk. Obviously, you can’t ever be with a woman after the twin humiliations of a a smackdown and Piven goop, so just drop the charges and divorce her and move on. Then change the story to how your wife caught you banging Emmanuelle Chriqui. In five years time, people will be confused enough to start remembering it that way and you’ll seem kind of cool again. Even though you’ll still be a huge pussy deep down.

Photo Credit: Sophie Turner/Facebook

Sophie Turner Has a Spectacular Wooty

By Bill April 01, 2013 @ 4:51 PM

Sophie Turner Booty SUR Lounge
I’m not sure how a while girl gets such an amazing ass. It could be workouts, it could be genetics, it could be the tug of the moons that orbit Jupiter. Ours is not reason why. But, what is our government working on that is so important they can’t get one of these for every woman in this country? People can mostly feed and care for themselves, but they can’t get an ass like that.

Photo Credit: Splash

poor Sophie Turner :(

By brendon January 28, 2013 @ 10:49 AM

sophie_turner_black_bikini

Sophie Turner looked a little gloomy yesterday on the beach in Sydney, maybe because you can’t walk 10 feet in Australia without tripping over some physically perfect sex machine. Here she gets tons of attention but down there, I don’t know of Australia has kids who shoot up their schools but if they do I bet they look like this and complain that they felt invisible.

(image source = pacific coast)

Sophie Turner won Halloween

By brendon October 31, 2011 @ 12:15 PM

sophie_turner_indian_costume_halloween

Australian model Sophie Turner had Hollywoods best Halloween costume this weekend when she went to a party dressed up as, “Girl I Might Seriously Rape”.

(source = pacific coast news)

monday morning headlines

By brendon July 12, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

42423PCN_Turner

ROMAN POLANSKI - will not be extradited by the Swiss to the US. He of course was convicted in 1977 of drugging a 13-year-old model and fucking her in the ass, but he fled the country and has never served a day in jail. Well maybe I’ll just go over there and fuck some of their teen models in the ass. Two can play this little game, Switzerland. (huff post)

EVERYONE GOT MARRIED THIS WEEKEND - including Carrie Underwood to NHL star Mike Fisher, Martin Lawrence to Shamicka Gibbs, and John Krasinski and Emily Blunt to each other. By contrast, I found a big box, painted numbers on it and pretended it was a race car. Oh god I’m so lonely! (people, people, people)

MEL GIBSON - has said offensive stuff for a long time, and here’s a list of some of it going back as far as 1991 when he said: “They take it up the ass. (points to his anus) This is only for taking a shit.” To make matters worse he was answering a question about Mexicans when he said that. (gawker)

SOPHIE TURNER – spent the weekend in a bikini in Malibu, and I think I see a shark behind her in one of these pictures. She should take her bikini top off and signal for help. (pacific coast)

thursday headlines

By brendon July 01, 2010 @ 7:52 PM

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AFSHAN AZAD – plays Padma in the Harry Potter movies, and hopefully she learned some of those defense spells because her father and brother are in jail today after threatening to kill her. In their defense, her performance was a bit wooden, and those people take shame very seriously. (huff)

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN – says nothing about the third Batman movie in this interview, but he does confirm that the script is finished and ready to cast. So far this is the best movie experience I’ve had all summer. (/film)

MEL GIBSON – sold his 75 acre estate in Connecticut today for $24 million. He reportedly wants to move somewhere, “more apartheid-y”. (wonderwall)

SOPHIE TURNER – got loose before her run this morning in Santa Monica, which caused me to get the exact opposite of that. I’m not entirely sure what it is she does, but I couldn’t be happier that she’s doing it. (pcn)