Nothing says you’re over a painful breakup like quickly marrying an online gaming ads dude you meet at Burning Man. For those not familiar, Burning Man is the annual event in the desert of Northern Nevada where young professionals and recently paroled drug and sex offenders merge naked in the middle of nowhere to discover themselves through some really crappy arts and crafts projects. Out of the entire population set of women to ever attend Burning Man, Stacey Keibler is roughly more attractive than every single one of them. Just like Coachella, and ComicCon, it’s become a thing recently for Hollywood celebrities to attend and ruin everything. But I guess she didn’t ruin it for Jared Pobre who she doinked and actually married in a secret wedding this past weekend in Mexico. She’s been posting tons of social media photos of the two of them during their quick courtship, so you know it’s true love, and not just getting back at her ex or some subconscious attempt to resuscitate feelings of self-worth and public reputation. I do hope somebody in that Spanish speaking land pointed out that her rebound husband’s last name translates to ‘poor’. Meh, by the time he takes her for whatever WWE and George Clooney girlfriend modeling money she has squirreled away, at least she’ll be emotionally ready to move on. Women don’t need money, they need to feel loved. Except for Oprah, which is why she has all the money.