This Waffle Is Really Pissing Me Off

By Lex February 24, 2014 @ 6:05 PM

It’s time for Mexicans to rise up in yet another futile and empty protest. Taco Bell has taken a centuries old complex cuisine, shit it out into pre-fabricated plastic molds, added spackle and minced termites, and called it Mexican food. We all stood by while Taco Bell raped Oaxaca with the walking diarrhetic called the chalupa, now, the waffle breakfast taco. That’s not a fucking taco. That’s a late-term Egg McMuffin abortion with a waffle that you bent in half. You’re not fooling anybody, you corporate marketing fucks.  Even the extremely fat comfort eaters are going to see through that one. I’m not even Mexican and I want to punch the President of Taco Bell with a surprise jab though the top of my sombrero. Pendejos.

Okay, So You Shouldn’t Expect That at Taco Bell

By Lex June 26, 2013 @ 10:26 AM

I guess because I go on rants about how nobody has the right to complain about anything that happens at obviously disgusting and shoddy fast food restaurants. Some smart ass sent in an email about this drive-thru operator at Taco Bell who was directing female patrons out of the drive-thru line so he could deliver food to their cars and grab a feel of their tits. Okay, so, that you should not expect at a Taco Bell. That some guy is licking your taco shells pre-serving and some other guy probably dropped a deuce in your beans, no right to bitch or sue. Being sexually assaulted by your drive-thru operator. Completely out of bounds. I’m not exactly sure how you punish a guy who is already a Taco Bell drive-thru operator. I guess you could just kick him forcefully in the nuts and make him keep working there.