Miley Cyrus and the Willis Sisters Censor Nipples to Protest Nipple Censorship

By Lex April 16, 2015 @ 9:52 AM

Miley Cyrus Scout Willis And Tallulah Willis Free The Nipple 07
Those protestor chicks in Europe flash their tits anytime a woman anywhere in the world is denied an abortion. Here in the U.S., the idle hands celebrities are fighting for the right to bare their nipples. It’s hard to imagine the combined brain power of Miley Cyrus and the two impossibly less employed Willis sisters came up with this as their Plan A. I’d recommend bringing in somebody from the outside to direct the campaign. You can find somebody with a valid high school diploma on Craigslist for not that much, a little more if you want them and their partner Chaz to four hand massage your dick and not murder you in the afterglow. The Free the Nipple campaign stands at the all important fork in the road. I’d gently rub my nipples with that fork. But that’s me, I have trouble making friends.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Tallulah Willis Premature Exhaltation

By Matt April 09, 2015 @ 7:07 AM


I’m sympathetic to people who were put in the spotlight against their will. That sentiment ends around their first DUI and if they haven’t killed it in an acting role they didn’t audition for yet they’re dead to me. Hence I don’t understand what Tallulah Willis is doing or why she didn’t file a motion for a nickname by now. Willis hiked Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles which takes all of twelve minutes to get to the selfie station. Apparently she’s doing well in terms of the drugs:

“Today marks the day I have kicked 9 months of sobriety’s ass.”

You just scratched the devil’s belly. Nobody celebrates nine months. Come memorial day you’ll be holed up at the Stratosphere wondering why you tempted Fate with a selfie jinx. Meantime do more hiking. You’re going to want fresh mountain climbing symbolism for your next four week stay at Weeping Pines.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Tallulah And Scout Willis Cheerleaders

By Lex March 16, 2015 @ 10:33 AM

Tallulah And Scout Willis Cleavy While Shopping In LA
It’s a big deal when any of the Willis girls lands a gig. Rumer got herself onto Dancing with the Stars where only the top flight of irrelevant celebrities land nine times a year. ABC can’t crank that shit out fast enough. They got the message on Lost. Too many people bitching about purgatory. Why waste the cash. Do you realize how little you have to pay a Willis daughter or a waived gay football player to appear on your dancing show? Glitter don’t need no deep dive fan forums. Tallulah and Scout put on their chin gloss and finest tops and went to support their sister at rehearsal. Any notion of bras was forgotten four day time cocktails ago. Rumer might just take this entire competition. Let me know. I can’t watch. It feels too much like somebody is stepping on my balls.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Tallulah Willis Joins Willis Tit Parade

By Lex March 06, 2015 @ 9:34 AM

Tallulah Willis See Through Shirt On Instagram
I can’t remember which Wilis sister this is, but you put a Whip-It gun in her right hand and a 20-year old cock in her left and she’s the spitting image of her mother. Tallulah’s joined the family vocation of shaving her head and showing her tits off on social media. This isn’t for every family, especially families that require jobs or school or stealing copper wire from construction projects to pay for their drugs, but the Willis girls need something to do between self-funded art projects and rehab. The fact that they share is a sign they were raised properly. That’s a compliment to you, Guatemala.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Cara Delevingne Bags a Willis

By Lex February 03, 2015 @ 11:50 AM

Cara Delevingne And Rumer Willis Enjoy Girls Night Out At West Hollywood
Cara Delevingne is rapid tonguing her way through disaffected young female Hollywood. I can’t remember which Willis girl Rumer is. The one who looks like Bruce, drinks like a fish, and hasn’t worked in a decade. Fuck, I can’t narrow it down. Rumer left a bar in West Hollywood holding hands with this unquenchable lesbian vampire. Holding hands in WeHo doesn’t mean the two of them are mere moments away from an after party of vanilla candles and poetic fisting. Traffic in L.A. sucks even at night. It could easily take half-an-hour.

Photo Credit:Coleman-Rayner

Tallulah Willis Shaved Her Head

By Lex November 19, 2014 @ 11:11 AM

Tallulah Willis Shaved Her Head
People with too much free time will inevitably do wacky shit with their hair. It’s a nod to your soul yearning for any sliver of personal accomplishment. The rehab chicks usually go for the head shave. It’s a solid coif for those who find themselves frequently unwashed and sleeping in puddles of their own vomit. For Tallulah Willis, the opportunity to further emphasize her resemblance to dad ought to enhance the number of suitors courting her with flowers and requests for her to sodomize them with strap-ons they coincidentally have in the trunks of their Sebring convertibles. Raising children in a supportive and accepting environment is really proving to be a horrible idea.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Twitter/Vine