Tomorrow night in Pennsylvania, Patricia Krentcil, AKA the Tan Mom, will be introduced to Ang Cottone, AKA MILF Mom, in a press conference for World Xtreme Entertainment’s Celebrity Boxing. The two women have agreed to “fight” each other in a three-round boxing match, and the date and location of the fight will be announced tomorrow night, although it was already reported that Tan Mom would be fighting in Atlantic City on June 14. I hate when such important surprises are spoiled like this. The fight is the brain child of Damon Feldman, who so bravely decided that he wouldn’t exploit George Zimmerman by having him fight DMX, because people were fucking pissed that he’d even think about it. Instead, Tan Mom and MILF Mom are the so-called celebrities who will earn about $5,000 each for something so few people will watch, but if Feldman should “accidentally” allow a starving lion into the ring with them, it might be worth our time and money.
Once you get past the heavy drinking and twisted parenting and emotionally retarded need for middle-aged porn attention, Tan Mom has a lot to offer her next soul mate. For instance, her weathered skin can survive pending extreme climate change and she can live entirely off expired canned tomato products. Also, she hates bras, so you can expect those leathery saddle bags to be slapping you in the face every time you go to help her pick up the food stamps that fall out of her purse during street arrests. I’d get in there now, before she’s snapped up by an ambitious Buttafuoco.
Photo Credit: PCN
Everyone’s favorite drunken leather purse, Patricia Krentcil the tanning mom, is splitting up with her husband Richard. The reason? He failed a lie detector test about fidelity on the TV show The Test. That and apparently he has a small dick. She talks about it in her horribly awful stand-up routine (see below). You’ll recall that Patricia skyrocketed to infamy last year after she took her 5-year-old daughter to get a tan. Presumably so she could be the same shade of Oompa Loompa porn orange as her mom. Patricia wants $1000 a week in child support and alimony from the husband for sticking his small willy in another woman. I’d feel bad for this guy except for the fact that he married her and really fucking stupid people need to learn the hard way from their mistakes if they’re to ever get better.
Today was supposed to be the day that fame-seeking attention whore and butt sex aficionado Farrah Abraham was released from rehab, after she entered a program in South Florida to make people talk about her more. So it was a little surprising when she Tweeted on Monday that she was already done with her treatment, but it makes perfect sense because the people at The Lukens Institute kicked her out.
According to Radar, Farrah was considered a “disruptive influence” on the other patients, but she also allegedly tried to take pictures of Tan Mom so she could sell them and continue funding her Z-list celebrity lifestyle. But she probably just wanted to get out so she could head to Chicago early for Exxxotica this weekend and practice for her squirting showcase.
How many times are we going to see this same story played out? A negligent mother gaining fame by UV cooking her little daughter, only to see that fame turn into a sordid tale of Hollywood ambition, naked photos, pornography, nightclub appearances, and ultimately burned out and drunk in a Minneapolis airport and forced into detox. I hope this latest incident let’s us finally talk openly about the need to round up crazy women with baggage and cement fill their baby making parts.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet