Taylor Swift even more annoying when beatboxing

By brendon December 06, 2012 @ 6:30 PM

The Grammy Nominations Concert is apparently a thing that exists, and it was last night in Nashville, hosted by Taylor Swift and LL Cool J, and it’s so cute the way the cunty, 22-year-old millionaire acts as if she’s just some awkward geeky teen while 10,000 people applaud her for it. It’s so adorable and endearing, I could just watch it all day.

Taylor Swift has truly worthless dating advice in Seventeen

By brendon November 15, 2012 @ 5:24 PM

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Someone at Seventeen magazine saw Taylor Swift, who is 22 and a terrible girlfriend but acts like she’s 16 and a wonderful girlfriend, and thought she’d be a great choice to give dating advice to high school girls. It was not a great choice, and the result was predictably awful.

For example, her thoughts on what a girl should do if a guy only sees her as a friend:

“Don’t chance ruining your friendship by chasing him before he’s ready. You just have to wait for him to turn it into something more, if and when he wants to.”

Holy shit that is terrible fucking advice. Unless the reader is a fucking ghost trapped in her high school forever, screw that, just ask the guy out. In two years she’ll have moved away and have all new friends, she sure as fuck won’t be hanging out with any of her old guy friends, so just put on some slutty clothes and be aggressive.

Come to think of it that’s actually pretty good advice for girls in general.

(source = fox. image source = inf)

everyone hates Taylor Swift now

By brendon November 02, 2012 @ 8:34 AM

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The last two times Taylor Swift released an album, she was nominated for the CMA Entertainer of the Year, and she won both times, but she did not win this year for her latest album ‘Red’. In fact she didn’t win anything at all, and the only thing she was awarded was scorn.

The Daily News says…

…hosts Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley took the opportunity to poke fun at Swift’s notorious love life in their opening monologue.
“The greatest trade of the year had to be the Kennedy family. They somehow traded Arnold Schwarzenegger for Taylor Swift,” Paisley deadpanned.
At that point, Underwood pretended to interrupt by whispering in his ear, presumably about the young couple’s recent split.
“What? Why don’t I ever hear about these things? I’m the last one to know,” Paisley bemoaned.
“Are they ever gonna get back together?” Paisley asked.
“Never, never, never,” Underwood replied. “Never ever.”

After that there was a mix of polite laughter and terrified screaming as people realized they still had 4 more hours of this to go and killed themselves.

Taylor Swift hates deaf kids

By brendon October 02, 2012 @ 2:34 PM

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There was nothing in the rules of the Taylor Swift on Campus contest that said you had to be a student of the school that you voted for, but after taking a commanding lead, the Horace Mann School for the Deaf was disqualified anyway, even though their principal said the students would love it and he’d be happy to win.

Instead Harvey Mudd College has been declared the winner, while the Horace Mann School will receive $50,000 in cash and another $10,000 in musical instruments. Which just seems cruel. What are they gonna spend it on, bass drums? An entire band of nothing but bass drums? Awesome. People a mile in every direction will think Godzilla is chasing them. I’m sure that won’t cause any panic attacks. Way to go Taylor.

4Chan and Taylor Swift are making dreams come true

By brendon August 30, 2012 @ 3:09 PM

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You might think that the first step to winning a contest would be to enter the contest, but you’d be wrong and now I hate you.

Take the “Taylor Swift On Campus” contest for example, where people vote for their school and then Taylor will visit whoever get’s the most. This tumlbr says UCLA and UC Irvine are the current leaders, with 7,518 and 13,000+ votes, respectively.

Not bad, but the Horace Mann School For the Deaf can’t hear you over the sound of how awes-Well they can’t hear you because they’re deaf but they also can’t hear you because they’re so far ahead. They have 27,457 votes, despite having only 128 students, none of whom actually entered this stupid thing.

Luckily the benevolent chaps on /B stepped up last night and entered for them, instantly crushing all the giant schools who are actively trying to win this for some inexplicable reason. And if they do, Taylor Swift will stand in your quad with a guitar like an asshole and screech about mean boyfriends and mean boyfriends on facebook. Won’t that be a treat.

(image source for taylors twitter pictures = taylors twitter)

Taylor Swift crashed a Kennedy wedding, refused to leave

By brendon August 22, 2012 @ 4:08 PM

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Taylor Swift was all smiles as she and her new boyfriend Conor Kennedy visited the gravesite of his mother, Mary Kennedy, who hung herself in May, but her inappropriate and overly familiar behavior didn’t stop there.

Taylor Swift crashed the Kennedy wedding in Boston over the weekend and did not leave after being twice asked to do so, the mother of the bride, Victoria Gifford Kennedy, told the Boston Herald yesterday.

Well Swift’s publicist says Kennedy is lying. She says the bride was thrilled to have her cousins summer girlfriend be the center of attention on her wedding day, so maybe this is a simple misunderstanding.

“They texted me an hour before the wedding and asked if they could come,” Vicki Kennedy said. “I responded with a very clear, ‘Please do not come.’ They came anyway. … I personally went up to Ms. Swift, whose entrance distracted the entire event, politely introduced myself to her, and asked her as nicely as I could to leave. It was like talking to a ghost. She seemed to look right past me.”

I would tread very lightly right now if I were you Vicki Kennedy. You are on very thin ice. Unless you want to turn on the radio next year and hear a shrill pubescent voice singing that you were a mean asshole to a sweet little angel for absolutely no reason, you’ll say “no comment” next time someone asks you about Taylor Swift.

(image source = inf)