By Jack October 03, 2014 @ 12:00 PM
Reality TV stars Joe and Teresa Giudice are going to jail for tax fraud. Before they are locked up and raped repeatedly by people who don’t give a shit so much about you being a Bravo! Housewives star, bright white toothed Andy Cohen is going to interview them and pretend television exposure was good for them in the long run.
Read all about how long The Giudice’s can expect to be forcibly sodomized. (TMZ)
Katherine Heigl’s crew pulls out their schlongs during her latest fuck scene. (Huffington Post)
Chrissy Teigen “accidentally” slips a nip. (Drunken Stepfather)
Abigail Ratchford in a bikini makes my wiener happy. (Hollywood Tuna)
Danielle Knudson in lingerie is part of your complete breakfast. (Popoholic)
Turns out Nicholas Sparks is an anti-Semite AND a shitty writer. (Dlisted)
Jessie J has a nice pair of double Ds in Cosmo UK. (COED)
Photo credit: Splash News
By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 5:20 PM
You can only protest your innocence for so long before the court date arrives and you need to look contrite and beg the judge for leniency as you plead guilty to lying, cheating, and stealing. Joe and Teresa Giudice, of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, were facing up to 30 years in prison for making up bankruptcy debts, then making a bunch of dough from Bravo and hiding that from Uncle Sam as well. Pretty standard grifter stuff. They won’t get anything close to 30 years, maybe a few months, because America still lets con artists skate with lots of fines and public humblings. It goes back to the old days when the money classes decided they needed to slap each other on the wrist for being naughty natties, but not open the door to the hangings and beheadings reserved for the apple-stealing riffraff.
“I will describe the choices I made, continue to take responsibility for my decisions and express my remorse to Judge Salas and the public. I am heartbroken that this is affecting my family — especially my four young daughters, who mean more to me than anything in the world.” — Teresa Giudice
Now that sounds like a good mom of four young daughters. I hope she describes her choices in a new book that includes some killer recipes for easy lasagna and some advice on what to do with the kids on a summer staycation. Just make sure to keep those book sale receipts, eh, Teresa.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Jack November 25, 2013 @ 1:18 PM
Soon to be convicted criminal Joe Giudice is apparently cheating on his banshee wife Teresa with some random chick. The greasy fraud was spotted by RadarOnline 30 miles from home having lunch with a woman who was hiding behind a big hat and sunglasses. During the meal he repeatedly reached out and touched her with his salami styled fingers. Joe has been in serious trouble for fraud and financially shady shit that’s likely to send him to jail soon. His wife Teresa, the shrieking beast star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, has also been indicted for taking part in Joe’s dirty deals. If she finds out he’s rubbing his greasy paws on another woman, the first thing she’ll do is probably sleep with one of Joe’s friends for revenge. I don’t envy any of Joe’s friends at the moment.
Photo credit: RadarOnline
By Lex August 15, 2013 @ 2:46 PM
Teresa Giudice made the classic courthouse to book signing turnaround, in front of a judge saying ‘not guilty’ then hustling her ass off to sign copies of her new cookbook, How to Grill Like a Lockdown Bull Dyke, or something like that. But that’s the thing about people who are into fraud, they love to grill.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex August 08, 2013 @ 4:02 PM
According to an unreliable gossip blog quoting an unknown attorney not involved at all with the Guidice case, Teresa Guidice may try to get a plea deal by turning on her husband in the couple’s mutual fraud case. It wouldn’t be the first time a reality TV star acted in a completely self-interested and ratty manner. Not even the first time today. If Teresa doesn’t figure some shit out, she could face up to fifty years in prison and a total cessation of her powerful Jersey Girl allure.
Photo Credit: PCN
By Jack August 01, 2013 @ 3:00 PM
Loudmouth embarrassment to Italian-Americans, Teresa Giudice, may have sunk her own show with her criminal activity. Bravo is seriously considering cancelling The Real Housewives of New Jersey in the wake of her and her ‘roided out husband Joe being charged with 38 counts of financial fraud. We told you a few days ago that the greasy couple is facing up to 30 years in prison for committing bankruptcy fraud and hiding assets. Bravo, and its chief gay Muppet Andy Cohen, are not happy with these two mooks. Not only is the press bad, but they also might have gotten Bravo mixed up in their shady shit. Not only might it sink RHONJ, but plans for a spin-off series about their mutant family are also being trashed.
For those of us that live close enough to New Jersey to smell the fake tanner and Axe Body Spray, this is a huge victory. These retarded attention whores and their shitty lifestyle have been glamorized for long enough. Now the world can see what lowlifes the Giudice’s and their ilk really are. I mean, not The Situation, obviously. But the others.