The Bachelor Chooses Ass

March 16, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

My wife made me watch the finale of The Bachelor. I don’t care if you think I’m lying, I’m good with me and Jesus. I don’t get porn for women. There’s very little fucking and a shit ton of feminine hygiene commercials. That seems wrong. Bachelor Ben Higgins had to decide between the flight attendant with the […]


The Bachelor Doubles Up

March 2, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

This season’s Bachelor, Ben Higgins, shocked the entire mallowmars consuming world by saying “I love you” to two of the final three girls. There’s an unwritten rule in the scripted-reality lore of the show that says the Bachelor cannot tell any of the female contestants that he loves her. Presumably because of feelings stuff. Also, […]


New Zealand Rears Its Ugly Head (VIDEO)

March 20, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some fame whore on New Zealand’s less classless version of The Bachelor farted really loud on camera. I’d like to think in America she’d be banished from the set along with her gift basket being confiscated. The United States has traditionally been an inspiration to the rest of the world. A shining beacon of light for those […]


The Bachelor Almost Got Interesting

January 28, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Network television is inherently uninteresting because it lacks tits and swearing and grotesque violence and the other things that form the basic hierarchy of interesting viewing. Contestant Ashley on the Bachelor touted her virgin status then took off her bikini top to prove that she can both lie and follow producer instructions. The goal of […]


Bachelor Chick Gets Hammered

January 15, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some idiot named Jordan Branch got black out drunk on The Bachelor and is blaming the show’s producers. It’s commonly known that reality show producers get participants drunk so they will act like sluts and assholes. That’s the foundation of reality television. It’s the bar at 3am. Else everyone would discover their last ounce of self-respect and […]


Nikki Ferrell Of ‘The Bachelor’ In A Bikini

October 24, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nikki Ferrell is on that reality show where a bunch of good looking woman compete for the chance to marry some dude with amazing hair. Most of the show contestants ultimately end up drunk or dead or worse, married to the Bachelor. I’m not sure why anyone buys into the scripted nonsense of these romance […]


Mortality Rate Continues to Climb for U.S. Reality Show Contestants

August 16, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Being on a TV reality show is probably the most dangerous job in America. You have to look to swing shift street cops in Baghdad before you can begin to approximate the at-risk exposure in the normal conduct of your occupation. Gia Allemand doubled down by being on The Bachelor and dating an NBA basketball player. […]


Courtney Robertson and Ben Flajnik went to the pool

April 30, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Courtney Robertson and Ben Flajnik went to Wet Republic at the MGM in Vegas over the weekend, and it didn’t say who they were so let’s just say they’re from ‘the Bachelor’. Because whenever there’s someone that you’ve never fucking heard of in your life but is apparently famous it’s a pretty good bet they’re […]


Vienna Girardi is in a bikini

January 26, 2012 | Uncategorized | editor| 0 Comments

Did you ever watch season 14 of ‘the Bachelor’ and wonder what winner Vienna Girardi would look like in a bikini? That was a trick question of course, because watching ‘the Bachelor’ and wanting to see girls in a bikini are mutually exclusive. Nonetheless, she was in Miami yesterday wearing one, so enjoy these pictures, […]