The Bachelor Chooses Ass

My wife made me watch the finale of The Bachelor. I don't care if you think I'm lying, I'm good with me and Jesus. I don't get porn for women. There's very little fucking and a shit ton of feminine hygiene commercials. That seems wrong. Bachelor Ben Higgins had to decide... read more

The Bachelor Doubles Up

This season's Bachelor, Ben Higgins, shocked the entire mallowmars consuming world by saying "I love you" to two of the final three girls. There's an unwritten rule in the scripted-reality lore of the show that says the Bachelor cannot tell any of the female contestants... read more

New Zealand Rears Its Ugly Head (VIDEO)

Some fame whore on New Zealand's less classless version of The Bachelor farted really loud on camera. I'd like to think in America she'd be banished from the set along with her gift basket being confiscated. The United States has traditionally been an inspiration to the... read more

The Bachelor Almost Got Interesting

Network television is inherently uninteresting because it lacks tits and swearing and grotesque violence and the other things that form the basic hierarchy of interesting viewing. Contestant Ashley on the Bachelor touted her virgin status then took off her bikini top to... read more

Bachelor Chick Gets Hammered

Some idiot named Jordan Branch got black out drunk on The Bachelor and is blaming the show's producers. It's commonly known that reality show producers get participants drunk so they will act like sluts and assholes. That's the foundation of reality television. It's the... read more

Elise Mosca Wears Bikinis At The Beach In Santa Monica

Photo Credit: Splash [gallery ids="1717312,1717302,1717282,1717262,1717292,1717272,1717252,1717322"] read more

Nikki Ferrell Of 'The Bachelor' In A Bikini

Nikki Ferrell is on that reality show where a bunch of good looking woman compete for the chance to marry some dude with amazing hair. Most of the show contestants ultimately end up drunk or dead or worse, married to the Bachelor. I'm not sure why anyone buys into the... read more

Mortality Rate Continues to Climb for U.S. Reality Show Contestants

Being on a TV reality show is probably the most dangerous job in America. You have to look to swing shift street cops in Baghdad before you can begin to approximate the at-risk exposure in the normal conduct of your occupation. Gia Allemand doubled down by being on The... read more

Courtney Robertson and Ben Flajnik went to the pool

Courtney Robertson and Ben Flajnik went to Wet Republic at the MGM in Vegas over the weekend, and it didn't say who they were so let's just say they're from ‘the Bachelor'. Because whenever there's someone that you've never fucking heard of in your life but is apparently... read more

Vienna Girardi is in a bikini

Did you ever watch season 14 of 'the Bachelor' and wonder what winner Vienna Girardi would look like in a bikini? That was a trick question of course, because watching 'the Bachelor' and wanting to see girls in a bikini are mutually exclusive. Nonetheless, she was in... read more