By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
One of the only redeeming qualities that Kanye West has had is the fact that he seems like he despises Kris Jenner, which is hilarious because she tries so hard to make everyone believe that her life and family are perfect, and she totally doesn’t look at her daughters and grandkids and see them as piles of cash. But fuck that remaining shred of Kanye’s humanity, because he recorded an interview for The Kris Jenner Show yesterday that will air on Friday.
According to the Daily Mail, Kanye joked that he was so in love with Kim Kardashian that he considered becoming an athlete, and people laughed because his baby’s mother used to date Reggie Bush and Miles Austin, and she was married to the chromosome-deficient Kris Humphries. And what better way to say you love someone than by making jokes about all the people she’s had sex with in front of her own mother and the 16 people who watch her show?
(Photo Credit: Getty)
By Lex August 16, 2013 @ 2:19 PM
The Kris Jenner show did reasonably well in opening weeks as Kris kept insinuating that Kim and her baby would be on the show to spike interest among the bored housewives and trainables that form the core of her fan base. But since that time, ratings have been slipping as even the morons have tired of trying to count the plastic surgery rings on Kris’ face to approximate her age. Kris tried to turn things around by bringing Khloe on the show to sumo wrestle. It wasn’t really a fair fight thanks to Khloe’s eight stone weight advantage and gravity. I would have committed to a week’s worth of watching if Khloe had consumed her kill after pinning her to the ground.
By Travis August 12, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
If you’re the kind of guy (or girl, we don’t discriminate) that likes to watch two grandmothers wrap their veiny, wrinkled claws around the teats of two terrified cows and cackle about how disgusting it is, despite the fact that hard-working Americans still wake up and milk cows every day, then Kris Jenner has the talk show for you.
Elderly comic and Dick Tracy villain Joan Rivers stopped by The Kris Jenner Show last week to milk some cows to the delight of the unemployed jackals at home and in the audience, and I just assume that the cows were shot in their heads or pushed into a vat of acid immediately after.
It would have been the humanitarian thing to do.
By Travis July 18, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Kris Jenner’s daytime talk show has already debuted and received terrible reviews from plenty of people, probably thanks to the fact that all she does is talk about her daughters. She even played a “hilarious” joke on her audience as she walked out with a newborn baby in her arms, leading everyone to believe it was North West, but it was actually her assistant’s baby. (I assume that Kris forced her to have a baby specifically for that joke.)
But to give you an idea of how terrible the show is, a TV critic named Linda Stasi received a Tiffany pen as a present from Kris “to write her a better review next time.” I actually don’t think that’s bad, so if Kris would like to send me a gallon of cyanide and directions to her family’s water supply, I’d be happy to write a positive review, too.
(Photo Credit: Getty)
By Travis June 07, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Long before reality TV shows became the perfect way for people with absolutely no talent to pretend like they were celebrities, networks handed out talk shows to keep semi-relevant people like Magic Johnson and Chevy Chase in the spotlight. Meanwhile, people with actual talent, like Oprah and Ellen, realized daytime talk shows could easily entertain the stay-at-home idiots and make them a ton of money. So it makes perfect sense that someone as talentless and greedy as Kris Jenner would think that she could host a daytime TV show as well.
Debuting on July 15, the Kris Jenner Show has a new promo out, and it’s pretty obvious that this show is just going to be another hour of the Kardashians pimping whatever horrible project they’re working on next. Eventually, Kris won’t even be able to get Kim Kardashian on the show and each episode will feature her screaming at Kylie and Kendall to look sexier.