Long before she helped ruin Tiger Woods marriage, Rachel Uchitel was engaged to an investment banker who was killed during the attacks on 9/11. But don’t feel too bad for her, because as she explains in a New York Post interview that comes out tomorrow, dead fiances never start fights.
“I believe Andy was meant to die because he was too good. I’m almost happy it ended the way it did because I’ve learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced.”
“(Had he not been murdered) I would be a fat housewife with three kids on Long Island.”
She’s now threatening to sue the Post while claiming these quotes were taken out of context, though I’m not sure what the right context is for, “I’m happy he got burned alive on 9/11 or else I might have gained some weight.”
MARTIN SCORSESE - has released a trailer for his movie ‘Hugo’, which is notable because it’s Scorseses first 3D movie, and for months people have been saying that this is the movie that could take 3D from an easy gimmick to a serious tool for talented directors to use. Also Borat falls down a lot. (apple)
CHRIS BROWN - performed on the Today show this morning and brought in a record crowd of 18,000. When asked about the crowd, Brown proudly said, “This is more girls than I could punch in a lifetime.” today
ELIN NORDEGREN - has traded up financially by going from Tiger Woods to date investor Jamie Dingman, the son of billionaire Michael Dingman. If this doesn’t work out she’ll pretty much have to date Mr. Burns. (ny post)
KELLY BROOK - showed the bikinis versatility today by wearing one to go shopping. If you’re a hot girl with big boobs, it really is the only outfit you need. The bikini: at work, home, or on the go! (splash)
THE CAST OF GLEE - has passed the Beatles for the most appearances on the Billboard Hot 100 chart by a non-solo act. They’ve had 75 songs on the chart, topping the Beatles old record of 71. Isn’t it exciting to be around while the greatest band in history is in their prime? (yahoo)
WEEZER - has been offered 10 million dollars to break up by a fan who says they used to be great but now they suck and it’s frustrating. And I agree. If they don’t sing glee club versions of Britney songs, fuck them. (popeater)
TIGER WOODS - allegedly made a sex tape with porn star Devon James in 2008, and now she claims she’s sold it to a production company. A source who helped put the deal together says it shows Tiger, “playing a few holes.” Which means the source is Jeff Foxworthy: Pornographer. (radar)
KELLY BROOK - is on the cover of 2 editions of FHM this month, one in Australia, and the other in a place that I bet is revealed somewhere on the cover in that language I dont speak.
Elin Nordegren hasn’t said a word to the press since it was revealed that her husband Tiger Woods would stick his dick in a beehive if he saw one in a club, but Friday People magazine will publish Elins first - and last, according to her - interview, given over 4 days in her Florida home.
“I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children,” she says in the magazine’s latest issue, out just days after her split from Tiger Woods was made official.
The 30-year-old mother of two, who is studying towards a college degree in psychology, says that despite her husband’s betrayal, “I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.”
“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal,” she says.
For Peoples sake I hope they’re saving all the interesting things she said for the magazine. I wasn’t even paying attention and I was bored. Is it possible to feel sorry for a woman who made at least 100 million dollars in her divorce? Let me put it this way: No.
(image source of tigers homewrecking whore rachel uchitel yesterday in malibu = pacific coast)
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren got married on October 5, 2004, which didn’t dissuade Tiger in any way from banging tons of random whores before, during, and since. So today they met in a courtroom in Panama City, Florida, to finalize their divorce.
It was ice cold between Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren at the courthouse as the couple finalized their divorce on Monday.
“Tiger was sitting down when Elin walked in the room,” a source told Radar. “Publicly they didn’t say a word to each other. They didn’t even look at each other.”
Financial terms were not disclosed, and past reports have been all over the place, claiming her deal will range anywhere from 100 million to 750 million.
Ever the emotionless robot, Tiger posted this statement on his website:
“We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us. Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.”
Then after that it says, “Ms. Nordegren was represented by…”, and lists a bunch of law firms. It’s really touching. And Tiger was represented by his long time general counsel, just like in a fairy tale.
INCEPTION - made $60 million to easily win the weekend box office. ‘Despicable Me’ was in second with 32.7m, and ‘the Sorcerers Apprentice’ was third with a disappointing 17m. But don’t panic Hollywood. People can’t get enough movies about a kid who thinks they’re ordinary until an eccentric stranger arrives and teaches them to use their untapped magic powers. I see no reason to stop making those. (variety)
WHITNEY HOUSTON - spends over 6 grand a week on cocaine, over 325 grand a year, and she could be dead in a year according to worried friends and an even more worried coke dealer. (enquirer)
TIGER WOODS - pouts like a little girl when things don’t go his way, so naturally he threw a hissyfit at the British Open Saturday before finishing in 23rd place. It was right after he missed a 2 foot putt that any toddler could make even if they were blindfolded and held the club upside down. Then he acted like it was the courses fault. Yeah that must be it Tiger. That hole has a strict Whites Only policy. (huff post)
ANNALYNNE MCCORD - turned 23 on Friday, and this weekend she celebrated in Vegas at Wet Republic with Kellan Lutz from ‘Twilight’. She looked pretty weird actually, and he’s genuinely ugly. If these two ever have a baby there’s a good chance one of the nurses would beat it with a bible. (splash)
