MJ Worries About Tiger

Michael Jordan has expressed concern over Tiger Woods, in a new ESPN story. Jordan says that Woods wants to retire, but doesn't want to do it while sucking so so bad: I think he really wishes he could retire, but he doesn't know how to do it yet, and I don't think he wants to leave it where it is right now...The thing is I love him so much that I can't tell him, ‘You're not gonna be great again...'What does he do...

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Tiger Woods Banging Another Golfer's Ex Wife

According to dubious reports Tiger Woods has been teeing off on Dorothy Boydwho divorced PGA golfer Jason Dufner in April. It is unclear if the pair started their rape fetishizing before or after the divorce, or if this ever happened. What is clear is that it's certainly plausible. I always thought boxers were superstitious natives when it came to not boning prior to a fight. While we lack hard scientific data, Tiger...

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Tiger Woods Cheated, Fuck No

According to an anonymous 'friend' of Tiger Woods, the reason Lindsey Vonn and Woods ended their two year courtship was because Tiger fell back into his old habit of banginghookers super messy after a tough day on the course. Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn't with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can't help himself. He's got an addiction. He relapsed.Knowing Tiger,...

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Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn Call It

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have ended their super awkward courtship. No word on whether they will continue color coordinating. The two issued separate press releases nobody requested which explain Vonn has to concentrate on skiing and Woods has a bunch of Denny's hostesses to throat fuck. It appears the press releases were written by the same publicist and made it very clearthe split was mutual. "Lindsey and I have...

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Tiger Woods Visited By Tooth Fairy, Bangs Her in the Ass (VIDEO)

Tiger Woods went to watch Lindsey Vonn ski while rocking a creepy skull printed face mask and missing hisfront tooth. People noticed, because it's pretty weird and it's Tiger Woods and he's fucking Lindsay Vonn. Woods' agent released a bullshit sounding statement saying the tooth was knocked out by a news camera as he was being crowded by reporters in a tent.If you're going toslander a certain group, you might to go...

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Tiger Woods Brother Loves a Good Joke

Way to bring shame upon the great Woods family name, jackass. Tiger's brother, Earl Woods Jr., named after their dad, kind of called in a bomb threat that cleared out his office in Phoenix. Earl Jr. called the bomb threat 'just a joke' at or about the time he got cuffed by the cops, but I guess that's no longer a valid legal defense. It is kind of sad how 9/11 ruined hilarious pranks like bomb threats for everyone....

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Tiger Wood's Mansion Sinks

Tons of people came down on Tiger Woods for banging a couple or few dozen women not his wife. Also, for texting girls during the middle of tournaments about wanting to fuck them so hard they split in half. His wife had the only valid reason to be pissed at him and he gave her a shitload of cash to help her feel whole again. I side with the people who say only a higher power can judge a guy like Tiger. At least it's...

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Tiger Woods Made An Ass Of Himself

For all of the stories and photos that came out of Monday night's Met Gala in New York City, I'm not even sure what the hell actually happened at that event, other than desperate women played dress-up, Kanye West rapped to his couch and Sarah Jessica Parker terrified children. And now we can add to that list that Tiger Woods apparently got really fucking hammered. According to the Daily Mail, Tiger had a hard time...

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Tiger Woods Super G'ing Olympic Ski Champ Lindsey Vonn

Tiger Woods, a golfer people stopped caring about a long time ago following his sex scandal, is dating Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn, an alpine skier I'm not sure anybody ever cared about except for one week in the winter of 2010. But now Vonn just made the couple's relationship Facebook official, and probably wears his championship golf jackets when they have sex. I guess it wasn't a well-kept secret but yes, I am...

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Rachel Uchitel is glad her fiance died on 9/11

Long before she helped ruin Tiger Woods marriage, Rachel Uchitel was engaged to an investment banker who was killed during the attacks on 9/11. But don't feel too bad for her, because as she explains in a New York Post interview that comes out tomorrow, dead fiances never start fights. "I believe Andy was meant to die because he was too good. I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many...

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Friday headlines, with even more Kelly Brook

MARTIN SCORSESE - has released a trailer for his movie 'Hugo', which is notable because it's Scorseses first 3D movie, and for months people have been saying that this is the movie that could take 3D from an easy gimmick to a serious tool for talented directors to use. Also Borat falls down a lot. (apple) CHRIS BROWN - performed on the Today show this morning and brought in a record crowd of 18,000. When asked about...

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afternoon headlines

THE CAST OF GLEE - has passed the Beatles for the most appearances on the Billboard Hot 100 chart by a non-solo act. They've had 75 songs on the chart, topping the Beatles old record of 71. Isn't it exciting to be around while the greatest band in history is in their prime? (yahoo) WEEZER - has been offered 10 million dollars to break up by a fan who says they used to be great but now they suck and it's frustrating....

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Elin Nordegren has done her first and last interview

Elin Nordegren hasn't said a word to the press since it was revealed that her husband Tiger Woods would stick his dick in a beehive if he saw one in a club, but Friday People magazine will publish Elins first - and last, according to her - interview, given over 4 days in her Florida home. "I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted...

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Tiger and Elin are officially divorced

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren got married on October 5, 2004, which didn't dissuade Tiger in any way from banging tons of random whores before, during, and since. So today they met in a courtroom in Panama City, Florida, to finalize their divorce. It was ice cold between Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren at the courthouse as the couple finalized their divorce on Monday. "Tiger was sitting down when Elin walked in the...

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monday morning headlines

INCEPTION - made $60 million to easily win the weekend box office. 'Despicable Me' was in second with 32.7m, and 'the Sorcerers Apprentice' was third with a disappointing 17m. But don't panic Hollywood. People can't get enough movies about a kid who thinks they're ordinary until an eccentric stranger arrives and teaches them to use their untapped magic powers. I see no reason to stop making those. (variety) WHITNEY...

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