The Tila Tequila Sex Tape Is Here, Again

By Lex January 06, 2014 @ 12:47 PM

Tila Tequila Stills From Her Sex Tape
If you happen to love seeing Hitler apologists with routine psychotic breaks take a big dong up their dumper, then Tila Tequila Backdoored and Squirting is going to be your Hunger Games for 2014. I guess ranting about the Illuminati online doesn’t pay like it used to, so Tila Tequila, whose real name is Tawdry Asian Pussy Rag, got back into the studio to create some more art. All the bullshit nonsense of a celebrity sex tape or stolen goods or leaked against my will have been laid by the wayside for this straight forward anal plunging porn. I guess that makes this her most honest piece of work. At least until the third piece in her trilogy, Tila Tequila Dead and Still Being Fucked.

You can see uncensored pictures of Tila HERE.

Photo Credit: Vivid

Tila Tequila’s Sex Tape Is Odd (VIDEO)

By Jack December 23, 2013 @ 3:23 PM

Tila Tequila’s upcoming sex tape looks to be really fucking strange. In this clip, (which has the nudity blacked out to make it completely worthless), Tila assumes the identity of an English chick named Ashley. She even puts on a bad Cockney accent reminiscent of Dick van Dyke in Marry Poppins. That weird voices and other craziness are a part of this skin flick isn’t a real shocker. The sex tape is coming from the same pint-sized lunatic who thinks the Illuminati killed Paul Walker and that Hitler was just a misunderstood emo boy. I wonder what other mysteries await in her sex tape? Will she expose the origins of Stonehenge by extracting beads from her ass in a dash-dot Morse code format? Will she make Prometheus a slightly less horrible film by explaining the motivation of the Engineers using only her creampie and an old quill pen. I guess as long as she screams in her Southeastern Asian-Texas accent I’ll watch. Or if it’s free.

Tila Tequila Has New Hardcore Sex Tape Coming

By Jack December 16, 2013 @ 2:43 PM

Everyone’s favorite Asian slut-Hobbit, Tila Tequila, has another sex tape coming out and this time it’s with a dude. Reportedly the diminutive star of having a lot of Myspace friends has a video showing her doing some nasty pie stuff with a man. This is in contrast with her previous work in which she stuck to munching beav in a Vegas hotel room (that you probably occupied right after). The video will be released by purveyors of fine filth Vivid. No word yet as to when precisely Tila will be pretending she’s outraged over the tape’s release. Tila has made a surprise comeback in the last few weeks with syphilis dementia statements like Hitler not being such a bad guy and Paul Walker having been killed in an occult ritual by the Illuminati. People who say there’s no such thing as bad publicity will really be tested on this one. As will people trying to convince you why now is the time for pay five bucks to see Tila’s snatch.

Tila Tequila Knows Who Killed Paul Walker

By Jack December 11, 2013 @ 1:12 PM

Tila Tequila is letting the voices in her head take over her speaking functions again. This time she is alleging that Paul Walker was murdered by the Illuminati in a “ritualistic murder”. We told you yesterday about her anti-Semitic ranting where she claims that Hitler was not such a bad guy. But she wasn’t done being bat shit crazy. She believes that Paul Walker didn’t die in a car accident because his buddy lost control of the Porsche and slammed into a tree. No, that would be too easy. She’s certain the Illuminati murdered him. It all started when she claimed that she was privy to information about the murder of a Vancouver girl named Elisa Lam who was found in a water tank atop an L.A. Skid Row hotel last year:

“I just did not want to draw any attention to myself but I know exactly why they did it and yes it was indeed a ritualistic murder. Just like Paul Walker’s.”

Tila has ranted before about her knowledge of the secret cabal known as the Illuminati and their secret government occult activity. In response to critics who say that she needs to get her clit out of the peanut butter because she’s fucking nuts, she adds:

“THE ONES TELLING ME TO ‘SHUT UP’ ARE THE ONES HEAVILY INVOLVED IN OCCULT RITUAL SACRIFICES HERE AND THEY FEAR ME TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT HOW THEY MURDER PEOPLE RITUALISTICALLY!”

Now, I happen to believe that ritualistic murders take place somewhere in this world at any given time. Most likely in tribal regions of the Sudan and liberal arts college dorm rooms, neither of which are venues to which Tila is privy. But the higher power that has chosen Tila Tequila for his vessel here on earth, that’s a different matter. Maybe we should start listening to her. All caps seems rather serious.

Tila Tequila Not Apologizing for Apologizing for Hitler

By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 1:49 PM

Tila Tequila Posts Photo Of Herself In Nazi Gear To Facebook
Just when you were pretty sure Tila Tequila was dead, nope. Still here. And telling the Jews to get over The Holocaust already.

I understand the Jewish people went through some shit too, but hey guess what?? SO DID THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED IN EVERY SINGLE WAR THST TOOK PLACE! You were NOT the only ones! So please, if the rest of us can forgive and forget maybe it’s time you do also!!!

Things started to head South for Tila right about the time one of her personalities decided to stop eating and then another decided to throw itself out of a building window. Granted, it was a first floor window so damage was largely superficial. Some people saw it as a cry for help. Other people saw it as the time to hire Michael Jackson’s doctor to help Tila finally get a good long napper. If they’d known Tila was being rebooted in a Nazi costume apologizing for Hitler, I bet more would have voted for the Propofol.

 I never said I hated anyone, but just because I fee sympathy, compassion, and forgiveness for others such as Hitler means I am now a monster? All for trying to open your eyes to the truth that Hitler was NOT as bad as he was painted out to be?

The story of Tila Tequila is really the story of Internet social media itself. She got popular for showing off her tits and kissing other girls, then she started talking and everybody started getting bored, and eventually it all turned into Nazi name calling. I’m going to go watch her sex tape again and pretend this never happened.

Photo Credit: Tila Tequila/Facebook, Instagram

Tila Tequila was topless when she was attacked

By brendon August 17, 2010 @ 9:26 AM

tila_tequila_topless_juggalos_attack

(note: pictures after the jump, which I have to make a big deal out of because it helps me on google when I write words like “topless”.)

The San Francisco Gate is reporting the attack on Tila Tequila over the weekend was planned in advance among Insane Clown Posse fans in chat rooms and on twitter, saying things like, “I fucking hate you and will teach you not to come back to the gathering.”

And Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse says he knows Tila was warned, because they’re the ones who warned her.

“We told her about the rumor and she didn’t care” … noting that Tila informed the group that she wouldn’t back out of the performance because she’s “not a bitch like that.”
“We paid her before the show and assured her that even if things got out of hand, she could keep the money if she had to leave the stage.”

Well whatever. The dickheads who hit her still deserve a fucking beating. Yeah tough guy, we get it, you don’t like her. What a bold and rebellious opinion. So go attack ICP for inviting her. Tila is 18 inches tall and weighs less than a house cat. Even if she doubled in size overnight I could still carry her around in a backpack. It would look like she was teaching me the Force.

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