Friday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 25, 2013 @ 6:58 PM

mantiteo

OPIE AND ANTHONY – are offering $25,000 to any girl who can prove they had sex with Manti Te’o. Because even though he told Katie Couric yesterday that he was “far from gay”, being gay or a complete dumb fuck are the only possible explanations for the things he’s done. And that sweater. (opies twitter)

TINA TURNER – has apparently lived outside Zurich in Kuesnacht, Switzerland, since the mid 1990′s, is now renouncing her American citizenship and becoming a Swiss citizen. She hasnt given a statement or been interviewed about this yet, which is pretty amazing because how hard could it be to find Tina Turner in fucking Switzerland. (fox news)

STEVE WOZNIAK – is, of course, the co-founder of Apple, and he’s played by the great Josh Gad in the Steve Jobs movie starring Ashton Kutcher. After seeing the clip released yesterday, Wozniak said-and you may want to brace yourself- that they’re fucking everything up. “Not close…we never had such interaction and roles…I’m not even sure what it’s getting at.” To be fair that last part could describe most Ashton Kutcher performances. (gizmodo)

KATE UPTON – is in the January issue of Zoo magazine, but the pictures they use are actually from a shoot she did last year for a lingerie company. So I posted those instead. I also chopped some firewood and made those butterscotch cookies you like so much.

TINA TURNERS STILL GOT IT

By brendon December 02, 2008 @ 11:09 AM

Tina Turner is on the verge of turning 70, and to make sure everyone knows it, she wore a replica of her famous Mad Max costume during a concert at Madison Square Garden last night.  And my god, she looked amazing, according to the Daily Mail, who I assume is being sarcastic.

It's nearly three decades since Tina Turner starred alongside Mel Gibson in Mad Max.  And as she approaches her 70th birthday than what better way to show she's still got what it takes than to pull on her old costume.  And although this wasn't the original outfit it certainly showed off the 69-year-old's age-defying body to best effect.

So if you're getting a birthday present for Tina Turner, a think a good gift would be a door that won't ever unlock, because, as it turns out, watching old people try to be sexy is my least favorite activity of all time.