Remember When You Wanted to Lick Tish Cyrus’ Thighs?

By Lex March 24, 2014 @ 12:28 PM

Tish Cyrus Has Cellulite Issues Undressing At The Beach In Miami
It’s definitely possible that the site of Tish Cyrus’ ass melting down her legs caused Bret Michaels brain to spontaneously hemorrhage. I myself just shit a raisin that I consumed back in second grade snack period. I can already read the letters from the ladies complaining about me complaining about Tish’s gynoid lipodystrophy. But I’m not complaining, I’m perusing, as a man might in a bookstore, an automotive dealership or a bulging drippy thigh fat exhibition center. I know everybody is riding Miley’s tip at this point cash wise. It’d be nice if the family earner could scrape off a little for mom to get a burly Eastern European woman to squeeze out that under skin butter like she’s kneading a strudel dough. Don’t let mom’s ass magma ruin her perfectly good fake tits and tattoos. That in the first Ten Commandments, you chitlin head.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash

Miley Cyrus Wears Money-Print Mini

By Lex July 15, 2013 @ 1:50 PM

Miley Cyrus Wearing Money-Printed Mini Skirt To Trader Joes Trip With Her Mom In Toluca Lake
Don’t be fooled. Miley Cyrus’ dress isn’t really made out of money. Though she may just have put together the most ingenious stripper dress ever. And given that she’s wearing 1′s and 5′s, just about the most honest dress ever too. Miley didn’t even make it to the Trader Joe’s parking lots before Maxim named her the Hottest Girl Ever to Wear an Outfit Featuring U.S. Currency. Then they begged her to send them the skirt and top so they could cut it up and avoid bankruptcy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN

The Cyrii Are Getting Divorced

By Lex June 14, 2013 @ 2:55 PM

I have a theory. You have sex with Brett Michaels and it will kill your marriage. Even if you happen to be married to Bret Michaels. Still, hard to imagine that Tish Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus, the pair who produced such great hits as Miley Cyrus and whatever their other four kids names are that didn’t quite make it, are splitting up after such a long run. The divorce should free Billy Ray to focus on new ways to re-release his single hit and Tish to focus on making more money off of her children. Also, they both can now re-marry younger versions of their former spouse.

It’s Miley Cyrus in a bikini, and yes that’s her mom

By brendon May 12, 2011 @ 5:58 PM

miley_cyrus_bikini_tish_cyrus_back_tattoo_wings_beach_rio_may_12_2011

Miley Cyrus is down in Rio today for her tour, and that can be a wild town so it’s a good thing her mom is there to look after her. Except that her mom is the one in the pink bikini with the giant angel wings tatted on her back. You could watch ‘Fuck My Mom and Me’ 1 – 17 and never find a more irresponsible looking parent.

(image source = pacific coast)

would you rather do Miley Cyrus or her mom?

By brendon October 12, 2010 @ 4:53 PM

miley_vs_mom

Miley Cyrus and her mom Tish and her little sister the family picture ruiner went to breakfast in Toluca Lake this morning, and her mom kinda looks like porn star Nikki Benz. She’s real skinny with big implants and she has tats and toe rings in the shape of a skull. She looks like she’d let you stick it anywhere and call her degrading names. Miley on the other hand looks like she would cry the whole time. So I’d rather do Mileys mom. I don’t have time for Mileys nonsense. What am I, a social worker?