Aw that was so close

By brendon June 04, 2009 @ 2:31 PM

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Halle Berry was caught filming a Revlon commercial earlier today in Los Angeles, although as she adjusted her tits and pulled at her top, it almost went from “Ad for Makeup” to “Worlds Most Watched Video”. If anyone mashed together video of Halles tits and Keyboard Cat, they’d completely break the internet.

(image source = fame. hq jump = here)

I Heart Lily Allen, part 29

By brendon June 02, 2009 @ 11:54 AM

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It’s not like Lily Allen looks amazing with her top off or anything, but she’s a big star and she lays out almost naked all the time.   She’s sold almost 4 million records, whereas Vanessa Hudgens never lays out almost naked and has sold less than 500,000 records.  Coincidence?  Probably, yes, but is Vanessa willing to take that chance.  She needs to think of her bikini top as a loaded gun, just waiting to murder her career.

They should put stuff lower

By brendon June 02, 2009 @ 6:54 AM

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Leona Lewis left LAX a few hours ago, on her way back home to London after a stop in LA to work on her, uh … career.  In the field of. As a … art.  Tist.  And as we all know, she’s one of the best!  It’s why she really is a huge deal in the UK.  More to the point – tits!  My God those things are terrific.  Might be one of the reasons she’s such a popular … s-sing, singer?

(image source = splash. full size jump = here)

Kate rocks her bikini bod

By admin June 01, 2009 @ 1:10 AM

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Stuff like that headline, or, oh, better yet, “This woman has 8 kids?!?!” is the kind of thing that would be here if this was Entertainment Tonight or People, or if it was the beginning of our journey to the land of make believe.

I’m sure tons of women would love to convince us Kate looks good because it lowers the bar for all of them, but she doesn’t. She looks like shit. That she had 8 kids is irrelevant. My penis is like a great white shark: it can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with, it doesn’t care about explanations or excuses. Look at Denise Milani. She’s a girl, and she’s at the beach just like Kate. So why doesn’t Kate look like Denise? Is it laziness? Selfishness? It might be all that and more, but there are just as many Denise pictures as ones of Kate below, so hopefully this will help balance Kate’s monster-like appearance.

(image source = splash.  full size jump = here)

What sexy auctions

By brendon May 28, 2009 @ 8:46 AM

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There are two sexy new auctions this week, one to sell three paintings of Madonna and another for a naked picture of French First Lady Carla Bruni (uhq of that here).  A former model, the picture of Bruni was taken in 1994, at the height of her career when she was 26, and is expected to at least match the $900,000 a similar picture sold for last year.

The paintings of Madonna, one with ex-husband Guy Ritchie, take a few liberties with their subject, but it’s still clear what they are because as you can see here, the artists expression says, “Oh Jesus God I Just Saw Madonna Naked” all by itself.

(image source = pacific coast and splash.  full size picture jump = here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 26, 2009 @ 12:34 PM

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ZAC EFRON – is considering breaking up with Vanessa Hudgens because he’s being told, “When people see them together, they think of their characters.” As in from “High School Musical”.  Another way to change his image would be to rant about how the Jews control the banks.  They do, you know.  I’ve got some stuff you should read.  (source = star magazine)

LILY ALLEN – says that “Britain’s Got Talent” sensation Susan Boyle is overrated, and that 12-year-old Shaheen Jarfagholi should win (relevant videos over here).  More importantly, how come we’re stuck with Paula Abdul and they get hot-ass Amanda Holden.  Every time I see Amanda I wanna punch Paula.  I’d rather “Idol” switch to footage from a truck stop toilet than go to Paula after every song. (source = daily mail)

SHAUNA SAND – for the second time today, the “star” of a set of pictures from Miami Beach has been overshadowed (this time by the random topless chick) but if you need to describe these Shauna pics to a coworker, stumble back and point at the monitor and say, “OHMY FUCKINGGOD WHATISTHAT?!”  (source = mavrix and splash. jump to hq here)