Some girls get all uppity if they’re the victim of a sexual assault in public while someone films it. Not this one. Which is surprising, because if I had the equivalent of her tits, I would fight to the grave if someone tried to rip my clothes off. Her nipples have that creepy blue ring around them (this), as if they were ironed on, like a discount Garfields eyes.
(image source = mavrix)
I can’t say “brasserie” without giggling, but Guy Ritchie and Elle Macpherson spent about 4 hours having dinner at the Notting Hill Brasserie in London last night. Hopefully Madonna has already killed herself because all she cares about is winning, which is why she’s dating that androgynous young man doing this for the attention, but Elle is way way better than that twink (she looked like this in a bikini a few months ago and this out of a bikini about a year ago), so the score is, Guys Penis: 1. Madonnas Diseased Womb: Dusty.
(image source = splash news)
TITTIES - I don’t know which college humor editor got dumped by Amanda, but matching her against Brittany in this bikini contest really can’t be considered anything other than sarcastic. She would have a better chance playing tennis against Roger Federer, even if someone tied her shoes together and her racket was upside down. (source = college humor)
NATASHA RICHARDSON - Natasha Richardson suffered a severe brain injury yesterday while skiing in Quebec. Her husband Liam Neeson was filming in Toronto but rushed to her side. Natasha was on a beginner level slope when she tumbled and fell. She didn’t hit anything and there were no signs of injury, but an hour later her head started to ache and she was soon taken to the hospital. That was some vivid storytelling wasn’t it? You probably felt like you were actually there, witnessing the events in real time, but try to catch your breath and let's keep going. (source = tmz)
MADONNA - Catharina Franca is an 18-year-old model from Brazil, and she dated Jesus Luz for 18 months. Madonna is a 50-year-old female impersonator from Detroit, and she dates Jesus Luz now. “When I heard about him and Madonna I couldn’t believe it. She is a ridiculous old bag, jumping around on stage at her age,” Catharina said. And she’s right. Madonna's vag must feel like it's made out of wood. (source = the Sun UK)
PATRICK SWAYZE - I’m not technically a doctor, but I think it's safe to say Patrick Swayze isn’t doing so great with his pancreatic cancer. But he's not giving up, even though many predicted he would have died by now. So suck on that naysayers. (source = fame pictures)
Ushers wife almost died on the operating table last week (more here), and everyone handles this type of tragedy differently. Some people sink into a deep depression, others get very pro-active in a “seize the day” type thing. Usher did the kind where you fly to Paris and spray million dollar champagne on a strippers giant titties. It’s unconventional, but look, he does appear to be moving forward. The initial data seems to warrant more investigation.
(image source = fame pictures)
