Fuck You, I Win

A judge threw out the Tom Brady Deflate Gate case because Tom Brady is too white and good looking to be punished. Also because the judge noted that under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, it's unfair to punish Brady for cheating because the NFL lets guys cheat all the time so nobody expects to be busted. You can't be punished for smashing your cell phones and destroying evidence because the NFL has never punished a...

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Tom Brady Battles Hard on Facebook

In the future, real men will claim their innocence on Facebook posts. I guess that's now. Tom Brady went to great lengths to let somebody fashion a long rebuttal to his four game DeflateGate suspension on his social media feed, normally reserved for showing off how hot his wife is. Everything seems defensible through decent lies except for that cellphone he ordered his assistant to destroy the same day he was being...

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Tom Brady Guilty As Charged

The NFL finally released their report on the ubiquitous and ultimately trivial Deflate Gate and found the Patriots are shady as fuck. The report comes just in time for nobody to give a shit anymore, since the NFL Draft just happened and the NBA Playoffs are in full swing and you're still allowed to get drunk at baseball games for the time being. Tom Brady was singled out as being either involved or at least aware of...

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Tom Brady Is Good at Everything

Tom Brady posted a video of himself and his lucky dick cliff jumping into some water so that guys in the greater Boston area can fuck their wives tonight. The first of April is April Fools Day as your friend who you need to stop hanging out with reminds you ever year. In keeping with that tradition and because his wife is cycling and relegated to the Northwing of the house, Tom Brady posted a photo of himself in a...

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Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady Vacation Like You and Me

Gisele and Tom Brady own a solid chunk of Coastal Central America now. They orange oiled out all the annoying monkeys so their childcare staff would be safe from rabies. They might also be re-animating fossilized dinosaur bones. You can do stupid shit when you're filthy rich and you have six months off each year. Gisele announced she's retiring from runway work after next month's Fashion Week in Brazil. Tom will be...

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Tom Brady Balls Out

Tom Brady's UGG campaign can no longer be ignored. It's like Ebola. There was a time when it was just a joke. Then just another infected boil on the butt end of Africa. Now, it's available at Forever 21 stores across America. I'm not going to sit here quietly while Tom Brady starts killing our precious white people with his cynical clothing promotions. It's hard to say precisely what makes Tom Brady an appropriate...

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Tom Brady Barely Made It

In a jarringly subtle Fuck You to the American male public, Tom Brady posted his dusty never used resume on Facebook. Brady's credentials include schlepping coffee with his balls tucked in at Merrill Lynch and hawking golf equipment at a pro shop where he snuck free fountain sodas. Of course Shark Tankers like Giselle Bundchen love their men regardless, but odds are he'd have been shut down whilst presenting this...

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Tom Brady's Old Bodyguards Are Going To Prison

Back in 2009, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen were married in Costa Rica, where they tried to enjoy a nice, private wedding ceremony with their friends and family like all extremely wealthy couples ultimately desire. What they didn't want was a bunch of dickhead paparazzi climbing the fences and trying to sneak pictures of the ceremony and reception, so they had their then-bodyguards, Miguel Solis and Alexander Rivas,...

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Gisele Bundchen might be pregnant

I don't mean to alarm Tom Brady, but his wife Gisele Bunchen appears to be pregnant. Or maybe he already knew that. Maybe she was on Miami beach yesterday because he wanted her to relax. That would be a very mature reaction to a girl telling you she's pregnant. Certainly better than mine, which was to open her car door and push her out. (image source = inf) [gallery id="6428"]

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Gisele says Tom Brady can't catch the f**king ball too

One thing that certainly helped the Giants win the Super Bowl last night was the three dropped passes by Patriots receivers in the fourth quarter. This was not lost on Tom Bradys wife Gisele Bundchen, who of course caught some shit from Giants fans on the way out of the stadium (video on the Insider here). After they yelled things like "Eli rules" and "Eli owns your husband", she turned to a friend and said, "they...

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its Gisele Bundchen and her naked son

While her husband Tom Brady gets ready for his first preseason game tonight vs Jacksonville, Gisele Bundchen is on a beach in Costa Rica with their two-year-old son Ben. Who was running around naked. "I fackin knew it," said every single Patriots fan when they saw the pictures. "I bet Derek Jeetah and A-Rawds kid aint got a hog like that. Them fackin poofs don't even have no kids. Makes ya waander, right?" (image...

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That's Gisele Bundchen. That's not Tom Brady.

Gisele Bundchen certainly is a friendly lady. While her husband Tom Brady is back home in Boston preparing to play the Dolphins Monday night, she's in Paris having foreplay with some guy two guys. "Gawd dammit! I knew thaat spic whoor was ganna be a praablem," said every single Patriots fan when they heard the news. [gallery id="8422"]

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gisele will steal your baby

If you don’t remember, New England Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady dated actress Bridgett Moynahan from 2004 to 2006, and got her pregnant just before they broke up. Then he dated and eventually married supermodel Gisele Bundchen. But Gisele makes it clear in this months Vanity Fair that she respects Bridget’s role as the mother of Toms child, so much so that she and Bridget live in the same town but have never met and...

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gisele and tom got married

Gisele Bundchen and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady got married yesterday around dusk at the St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica. Us magazine says...The ceremony was "very small and intimate," a source tells Us, adding that guests mostly consisted of immediate family. A pal close to the couple says Bundchen and Brady are perfect together. "She's definitely 'The One,'" the source said. "She really...

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TOM BRADY HAD A SON

CBB exclusively broke the news last night that Bridget Moynahan gave birth to a baby boy yesterday in Santa Monica. The father, of course, is hunky New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. CBB said:Bridget had been almost two weeks overdue -- Tom left training camp in Boston on Wednesday for Los Angeles, but no word on if he (and his flowers) made it in time for the birthDamn this is better than genetic engineering....

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