Chester Hanks Threatens to Assault Howard Stern

Imagine being Tom Hanks kid. Everybody loves your dad. You hear it every fucking day. Either dad is an asshole at home and nobody gets it. Or he's just as fucking endearing as everybody thinks and that's even worse. I'd probably ignite shit on fire as soon as I could work matches. Hanks' youngest son Chester acted out by labeling himself a rapper by the name of Chet Haze. Howard Stern rips on him from time to time for...

read more
Tom Hanks Is Better Than You

Tom Hanks recently befriended a New York cab drivernamed Ferrarri and invited him backstage to a Broadway performance because Tom Hanks is super fucking nice. The driver picked up Hanks, struck up a conversation with him, and apparently succeeded in not completely creeping him out with his heavily accented talk of buried dead whores. Over the next few weeks Ferrarii picked up various people who know Hanks and...

read more
Tom Hanks said "f**k" on Good Morning America

Everyone thinks Tom Hanks is soooo great and likable, but he showed his true colors on Good Morning America today. After being prompted to do the voice of one of the many characters he plays in 'Cloud Atlas' (probably this gangster/dick in the box character), Hanks said "fuckin". On live TV. With innocent families watching. And now kids everywhere are all saying "fuckin" because Tom Hanks made it seem cool. Not only...

read more
Kate Upton is better with bikinis, Tom Hanks

These pictures of Kate Upton and her miraculous boobs are from the GQ shoot she did with hack photographer Terry Richardson, but he's a creepy douche who always puts himself in a picture with the model doing his stupid thumbs up thing. So instead of letting him ruin more Kate Upton pictures, for this, jackass has been replaced by beloved Hollywood icon Tom Hanks. Hey, whats goin on, Tom Hanks! Lookin good buddy!...

read more
Tom Hanks is easily bought

Movie stars like Tom Hanks are rich and everyone kisses their ass, so if you want one of them to do you a favor, you have to be creative. Nerdist wanted Hanks to do their podcast, so they got a 1934 Smith Corona typewriter (sorta like this), typed up an invitation, then sent the invitation and typewriter to Hanks. Because I guess he's into typewriters or something. And it worked. He typed this letter back and said...

read more
Tom Hanks will love you till da break of dawn, girl

‘Cloud Atlas', directed by Tom Tykwer of ‘Run Lola Run' and Andy and Lana Wachowski (who used to be Larry Wachowski) of the Matrix trilogy, has it's first trailer (HD here) starring Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and Hugh Grant in a number of different roles as characters in different lifetimes. So Hanks is not just a guy telling you to look in the box in front of his dick, he's also the guy from Cast Away again, van Gogh or...

read more
Bree Olson slept with another really famous actor

Bree Olson was on a radio station in her hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana, yesterday, and during the absolutely scintillating interview (audio clip here), she reveled that Charlie Sheen isn't the only famous actor she's had sex with. Not only was there someone else equally famous, but according to her he's won multiple Academy Awards. HOST: And was Charlie Sheen the only celebrity that you've ever dated? BREE: Dated?...

read more
david letterman is candid

David Letterman made a very rare appearance today on a talk show other than his own when he went on 'Live with Regis and Kelly' this morning. As you might guess, he was typically self effacing and candid, even mentioning the affairs he had with several women who worked on his show. The Huffington Post says... "How's everything at home?" Philbin asked, to which Letterman replied, deadpan, "I don't know if people know...

read more
friday morning headlines

HAYDEN PANETTIERE - is in Taiji, Japan (again) to protest the annual dolphin slaughter. Asians could argue they're the best race because of their contributions to science, engineering, architecture, and pussy, but they lose points for terrible music and INSAAANE violence. Do you god damn Japs have to slaughter everything you see? As an American, I feel like we should annihilate the Japanese because they're different....

read more
this cost NBC $25,000 per second

While most of the bits about Conan spending millions on new characters in his final days as 'Tonight Show' host were just a joke, one thing that was very real was the tab he was running up by playing famous songs as the intro music for guests. Those songs really do have incredibly high royalty fees and NBC really does have to pay them. First it was the Rolling Stones "Satisfaction" for Adam Sandler, then on Friday......

read more
julia roberts really likes profanity

Julia Roberts gave a tribute to Tom Hanks last night for the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and for some reason that required tons of scathing profanity. The New York Daily News says..."Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," Roberts began. "So Tom, everybody f-----g likes you. All my bits are gone.""Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her t--s were...

read more