07.19.2011 Bree Olsen slept with another really famous actor

Bree Olsen was on a radio station in her hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana, yesterday, and during the absolutely scintillating interview (audio clip here), she reveled that Charlie Sheen isn’t the only famous actor she’s had sex with. Not only was there someone else equally famous, but according to her he’s won multiple Academy Awards.

HOST: And was Charlie Sheen the only celebrity that you’ve ever dated?
BREE: Dated? Yes.
HOST: Hooked up with?
BREE: I mean, you know, yes, but, man, if it got back, it would just be, I’m not the kiss and tell kind of girl, I will say he’s gotten a few Oscars and he’s been in quite a few blockbusters, recent ones as well.

HOST: Is this like a private jet flying celebrity, or is this like a first class on a regular plane celebrity?
BREE: A private, private jet. I mean we’re talking nice jet. One of the nicest jets I’ve been on for sure.

At first I thought it might be Kevin Costner, because he has 2 Oscars and allegedly had sex with porn star Holly Sampson, but unless Bree reads the trades everyday and knows that Costner is in the new Superman movie and the new Quentin Tarantino movie, he hasn’t done anything recently. Same with Mel Gibson (who also has a thing for porn stars).

Assuming she means the guy won multiple awards for acting, there isn’t a real long list to chose from. There’s Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, Robert De Niro, Gene Hackman, Kevin Spacey, and Denzel Washington.

When you look at it like that, there’s one obvious name that really jumps out. Tom Hanks. I think we all know it’s Tom Hanks. The perv.

04.30.2010 david letterman is candid

David Letterman made a very rare appearance today on a talk show other than his own when he went on ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ this morning. As you might guess, he was typically self effacing and candid, even mentioning the affairs he had with several women who worked on his show. The Huffington Post says…

“How’s everything at home?” Philbin asked, to which Letterman replied, deadpan, “I don’t know if people know about this, but I’ve had some trouble.”
(Letterman said) his behavior was stupid and reckless, and that it hurt his family and himself. But he sounded hopeful that life with his wife and young son can “even be better, in a different way” than before

This is only sort of relevant but someone in a position to know told me Letterman has been asked to be a guest on Conan O’Briens first TBS show, and Letterman really wants to do it. So the first show would be Tom Hanks and Letterman with no musical guest, and Conan would bring them both out at once, and they would do three or four segments with Conan, Tom and Dave. I really am fascinating aren’t I? And I’ve got hundreds of gems like this. Hard to believe a great guy like me is still single, isn’t it. Part 2 of Dave under the cut.

03.26.2010 friday morning headlines

HAYDEN PANETTIERE - is in Taiji, Japan (again) to protest the annual dolphin slaughter. Asians could argue they’re the best race because of their contributions to science, engineering, architecture, and pussy, but they lose points for terrible music and INSAAANE violence. Do you god damn Japs have to slaughter everything you see? As an American, I feel like we should annihilate the Japanese because they’re different. (yahoo)

TOM HANKS - says WWII was racist and America was out to annihilate the Japanese “because they were different”. Oh no, Tom Hanks is on to me! Wait. No he’s not. I really hope this was out of context. Otherwise, stfu Tom Hanks. They didn’t drop Hello Kittys and anime on Pearl Harbor. (fox)

KATE HUDSON - will branch out and star in ‘Something Borrowed’, a romantic comedy co-starring John Krasinski. I can say without hesitation this will be the worst movie of the year. They shouldn’t even waste the film, and skip right to releasing it on the radio or as an MP3. (variety)

BAR REFAELI - is why the internet is so awesome. Here she is in lingerie for some reason I didn’t care about. If I wanted to see women in clothes, I would just leave my house. This is way better.

14 photos in gallery >

Tags: bar refaeli, hayden panettiere, headlines, kate hudson, tom hanks |

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01.25.2010 this cost NBC $25,000 per second

While most of the bits about Conan spending millions on new characters in his final days as ‘Tonight Show’ host were just a joke, one thing that was very real was the tab he was running up by playing famous songs as the intro music for guests. Those songs really do have incredibly high royalty fees and NBC really does have to pay them. First it was the Rolling Stones “Satisfaction” for Adam Sandler, then on Friday…

When Tom Hanks entered from behind a curtain to go to his seat, the band played The Beatles “Lovely Rita,” which costs NBC half a million dollars.
Questlove, who is the drummer for The Roots on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” almost instantly tweeted, “yo i hate spoiling but i will have you know that walk on song we just heard was half a milli. i know cause i got the list rate at nbc and tom’s walkon music on conan is on my “restricted” list—wow a $500,000 walkon song lol.”

This is why when I do talk shows I come out to ‘Ava Maria’. It’s in the public domain so no one has to pay any royalties. Also I think it would be nice if more people thought I was a messenger from God.

(watch toms full appearance here)

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04.28.2009 julia roberts really likes profanity

Julia Roberts gave a tribute to Tom Hanks last night for the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and for some reason that required tons of scathing profanity. The New York Daily News says…

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," Roberts began. "So Tom, everybody f—–g likes you. All my bits are gone."
"Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her t–s were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her a– was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the f–k?"
Of Hanks' 2004 flick "Ladykillers," she said, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair … I didn't even know what the f–k that movie was about!"

Of course the only part of this that got my attention was all the huge boob talk. And I never noticed before but Toms wife does have quite the rack (1, 2, 3). She looks like she could be Kate Beckinsales mom, which is probably way more flattering in my head than in real life.