God only knows why, but apparently Jessica Simpson is still hung up on Tony Romo, and so it was the perfect finale for her terrible year when he got engaged last week to 23-year-old Candice Crawford, just 5 months after he dumped Jessica. The Enquirer says…
“Jess was torn up about it,” said a source. “She obsesses over Tony’s every move with Candice, and she’s always held out hope that she could win him back.
Just the thought that Candice was getting Tony to the altar was enough to send Jess into a deep funk. Jess always dreamed that she’d be the one to marry Tony. She had their wedding all planned in her head.”
Hopefully that wedding included a dress with an elastic waistband because Jessica has put on 10 pounds a month for the past year. Candice is a former Miss Missouri and the sister of Chase Crawford. Of course Romo bailed. Jessica should find a guy who doesn’t mind a girl that lets herself go to hell, and while we’re here in Fantasy Land, her wedding could have a wise talking lion with a crown on his head conduct the ceremony, and then they’d ride away on a silver Pegasus.
I don’t know who these “sources” are telling Fox News that Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson because of her drinking, but it’s obvious they don’t think very much of us.
“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with her head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider said. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”
Seriously? Are we being serious here? We’re supposed to believe the Dallas Cowboys - the DALLASFUCKINGCOWBOYS - were offended by Jessica Simpsons partying? If anything they were annoyed because the stripper they punched out and tied up in the trunk of their Bentley would wake up any minute now and they needed to go bury her in the desert before then, and Jessica was taking to long to pass out. Saying your drinking was offending the Dallas Cowboys is like saying your anti-semitism was bothering the other guys in the SS.
Jessica Simpson and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo have been rumored to be dating for a few weeks now, and yesterday she wore his jersey (or at least a pink version) to the Cowboys game against the Eagles. Keep in mind, the Eagles suck this year (they were 5-8 before yesterday) yet the Cowboys still lost, mostly because Romo went 13-36 with 3 interceptions and no touchdowns. He also fumbled twice. In his defense, it's hard to play football when you have a raging hard-on. It especially makes things awkward when the center bends over and you cuddle up behind him and put your hands an inch from his balls. Also, who gives a shit about football when you have Jessica Simpson to go home too. I don't care how cool your job is, if it's between that and Jessica Simpson, fuck it. You could be a judge at the Victoria's Secret Blowjob Olympics and you'd still just stare at your watch the whole time.
(i don't know what the deal is with these pictures. i went to several different sources and they all looked the same. weird. it looks like an oil painting. also, due to a scheduling conflict, the role of "Joe Simpson" was played by Martin Sheen.)
These pictures of Jessica Simpson and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo arriving last night at the Burbank Airport will certainly add to the rumors that the two are now dating. Top sources with the Cowboys say, "We hope this new relationship will inspire him and give him confidence, then maybe he won't fumble away the god damn playoffs like he did last year. Wouldn't that be nice!"
picture source = Bauer-Griffin
Jessica Simpson was seen Saturday night at the Roosevelt hotel in Hollywood with Tony Romo, the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys and her maybe boyfriend. And why not. He's so handsome, he looks like Woody from "Toy Story". The only way it could be any hotter is if there were two Tony Romos.
Almost exactly one year ago there was a rumor that Jessica Simposn was dating Tony Romo, the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. That was quickly dismissed by everyone involved, but now In Touch is saying they spent Thanksgiving together. It's hard to know what the truth is, mostly because these people are boring and I don't care.
The couple showed up at Jessica’s grandparents new home in Waco, Texas, on November 23 (a day late, since Tony had a game to play on Thanksgiving) and received a “hero’s welcome” from Joe and Tina Simpson and Jessica’s grandparents, according to an onlooker. While Tony has denied reports that he and Jessica are dating, insiders say the pair are definitely involved — and they’re getting more serious.
I'm sure it's a coincidence but in these pictures taken last week, Jessica is walking around with a newspaper and on the front page is a story about the Cowboys (better look HERE). But you know what's not a coincidence? The way I leave the ladies satisfied every time, baby!
