Alex Rodriguez’ ex WWE diva girlfriend of three years has broken up with him, reportedly because he’s afraid of commitment but coincidentally his career is basically over and he’s the most hated man in New York since Bin Laden. She’s probably heard the gay rumors she contributed to by having a striated eight pack and a pretty decent piece on her. If Rodriguez survives the line drives hit directly at his head by teammates this spring training there’s a chance she could nurse him back to health. She produces breast milk year round and going down on her is the equivalent of eight shots in the ass. Take a day off.
Here’s how you know A-Rod has dumped you. You see pictures of the new girl he’s banging in the tabloids. Boy, I wish I had that kind of juice and could avoid those uncomfortable breakup encounters with women I’ve never had.
Freshly single, Torrie Wilson wasted no time getting into a bikini, back out by the pool, waiting for the HGH to clear from her body, and find another dude. She won’t have a hard time. But it takes a strong man to hang with a gal like Torrie. Specifically, one who won’t cry or report her to the police when she holds you down and thrusts a foreign object up your dumper and insists that’s love.
Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson went jogging today near George Clooneys home on Lake Como in Laglio, which, amazingly enough, makes this two posts in a row about Lombardy, Italy.
Even more amazing is that George Clooney has been dating Stacy Keibler for over a year now. She has to know her time is almost up. He just can’t get her pregnant. When he’s done with a condom he should bury it, or throw it right in the lake. The fish might get pregnant–I’m not a veteranarian, I’m not positive how that works–but she won’t.